Wang Xiaobo has been "two" since he was a child, and he is the second oldest among the boys in the family, and he is also particularly "two" in his work.
When he was a child in class, because he was hungry, he caught what to eat, except for pencils, other school supplies were stuffed in his mouth, and everything was nibbled.
He loved the whole teacher, and there was a teacher surnamed Ci, so he gave people a nickname of "porcelain urinal"; the teacher asked him to stand up and answer questions, he did not speak, just a strong roll of eyes, making people look either contemptuous or insulting.
He is such a "two", even the protagonist of the novel is Wang Er.
In "The Golden Age", it was the twenty-one-year-old Wang Er, who looked at the irrationality of life and felt particularly strange, he did not understand why life had to be so troublesome, why people had to be "fake and serious".
In "Thirty and Standing", Wang Er is still not serious, and life is still strange, but at this time, Wang Er, in order to live, sometimes has to pretend to be serious, and has to become "boring".
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Wang is twenty-two years old and is a university teacher.
Thirty-three years ago, Wang Er's parents did things, the condom was broken, although afterwards washed with water, but still pregnant with Wang Er, so the father felt that Wang Er was not serious, and did not believe that Wang Er was a serious thing.
When I was in kindergarten, Wang Er in the kindergarten was fierce and abnormal, and one day, my aunt took the kindergarten children to, and Wang Er was among them.
The shit was finished, the aunt did not come to wipe the ass of the big guys, Wang Er wiped it by himself, put on his pants, and then wiped the ass of his children, the whole class of children lined up in a row, Wang Er rowed the head to wipe away, many girls, by him quickly boarded, patronized the ass.
But suddenly, the aunt grabbed his ear and pulled the ear longer and longer, and the more Wang Er wanted to get angrier, he planned to "poison" the aunt with a bottle of potassium permanganate water for washing peaches.
The dead party Xu Yu saw it, said that adding lime can enhance the potency, adding lime is not enough, and adding mud, urine, and the pulp on the toad' body, the potion became colorful.
However, before he could pour it into his aunt's lunch box, he was exposed.
In the first year of junior high school, Wang Er and his classmates fought a school bag battle, he put a brick in the bag, and suddenly he could throw people out a meter away, causing the whole class to be indignant and chasing him everywhere.
He was always late, and as soon as he pushed open the classroom door, dozens of faces looked at him in unison, and the squad leader, squadron leader, and squad leader rushed to talk to him.
In the blink of an eye, the unconscious Wang Er turned out to be thirty-two years old, and he had become a university teacher, and he began to worry about others, and in order to prepare for an experiment, he actually arrived at the school forty minutes early.
Even he himself could not believe that he had arrived at school so early to teach, not to poison the principal.
It turns out that society is a melting pot that can transform all kinds of people, even "chaos demon kings" like Wang Er.
Wang Er and his friend Xu You jointly manage the laboratory, but Xu Yu is an unreliable person, he does not clean up after eating, the laboratory is a mess, the rat medicine is prescribed, a room of dead rats stinks badly, he puts his sneakers into the oven, making the room full of poisonous gas.
Wang Er cleaned up everything and found that Xu You was still naked with a microscope observing something, Wang Er looked at it, it turned out to be Xu Yu's "sperm", told him to go to get the tape, he twisted a few ballets bare ass, and then slowly moved.
Wang Er was afraid that the students would see what was under the microscope, and urged Xu Yu to quickly clean it up, but Xu Yu said: What is the fake canon.
Later, the things were confiscated, and the students came, observing the white flowers under the microscope together, and the girls were particularly interested. He also asked Wang Er all kinds of questions, which made his head bigger.
The years have not spared people, and life has been transforming people, and even the unorthodox Wang Er has become "serious".
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Wang Er wanted to go abroad, and heard that Professor Lü of the Mining Institute had a quota to go abroad, and Wang Er followed Professor Lü to do the project together, and he did ninety percent of the work alone.
Later, the project was completed, and he won the grand prize, and Professor Lu received both fame and fortune, but Wang Er did not get a place to go abroad, because he was too immodest, and let people like him go out, afraid of losing people to the school.
The quota for going abroad was not wasted, and Professor Lu went abroad by himself, because it was a pity that the quota was abolished.
The principal said that Wang Er couldn't do anything, that Xu Yu in the laboratory was unreliable, that Wang Er who was in class was also crazy, and that all the students who had listened to Wang Er's lesson were crazy.
Wang Er said that it was because the students' parents were not serious when they made them, and said that the facts proved that touching less would make a big mistake.
The ideal was shattered, and Wang Er was indignant, and when he returned to the laboratory, he took Xu Yu out of anger.
Once Wang Er felt that things did not work out, he spread hysteria, and scolded the children and beat his wife, which was a big indecency, but now, he was even obscene.
He thought that life is torture, wrapping people in wet cowhide, putting them in the sun, tightening the cowhide, the tighter the person is wrapped, the law of life is that wrapped in people's cowhide, going to work, eating and excreting, even making love is one of them.
He was walking down the road in a gloomy mood, when suddenly a woman tapped him on the shoulder and cheered: "It's fucking you, it's fucking you!" ”
This woman is The Little Bell, The Girlfriend of Wang Er when he was in the queue, and he once read a poem to the Little Bell: "Walk in silence, walk in the sky, and the penis hangs upside down." ”
Little Turnbell asked Wang Er to accompany her to dinner, but Wang Er wanted to refuse, because he was someone else's husband, and Little Turning Bell was someone else's wife.
But they still went to dinner and drink together, talked about the past, and when the little bell was divorced, many people advised her not to leave, and she said to an old gentleman who came to persuade her: "Some people deserve to fuck my X, and some people are not." "Since then, no one has advised her.
Wang Er has a corollary that there are two systems in this world, one from existence itself and one from the necessity of survival, so that there are two answers to each question at the same time, which is called hypocrisy.
The so-called hypocrisy is just to put a switch in the brain, no matter what problems are encountered, we must make judgments, when it is related to utilitarianism or logic, when it is related to utilitarianism, shout long live the emperor, long live the logic, and then begin to deduce and get the conclusion that it must die.
And in existence itself, like a grass growing in the spring, there is no purpose, like a horse in heat, not for the sake of performing for anyone to see.
Therefore, Wang Er came to the conclusion that people have lost their existence for the sake of performance.
However, Wang Er, who is in his thirties, seems to have lost his existence, because his life inevitably needs to perform.
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The moon was tilted to the west, and when Wang Er said goodbye to the small bell, it was already two o'clock in the night.
When he returned home, it was a torture from his wife and second wife, and although Wang Er was very good at lying, he did not lie to his wife, so he sincerely said what had happened.
That night, Wang Er did not sleep at all, and only fell asleep when it was almost dawn, but a pair of delicate little hands of the second lady held Wang Er's vital place, and Wang Er had to prove that he did not have two hearts.
When he went to work for a teachers' meeting, Wang Er dozed off and was publicly criticized by the principal.
When he went to work the next day, Wang Er behaved more like a villain than usual, and the principal called him to the office and tried to persuade him bitterly, Wang Er, Wang Er, can you pay attention to your behavior?
The principal also said that he had already written down Wang Er's political appraisal, writing: "Comrade Wang Er, his character is bad, his political ideology is reactionary, he hangs his children in work, and his character in life is bad. ”
Wang Er, who was originally hanging ErLang, suddenly fell silent, and he pleaded with the principal, saying that he would change, would do what the principal asked, and that his attitude would change, "Talking to the principal is like saying goodbye to the body."
In front of life, Wang Er had to bend down and lower his head.
One night, after taking a bath, Wang Er walked bare-chested to the balcony, only to see that the sky was full of stars, like a frozen heavy rain.
Wang Er thought again of the past, when he was older, the brave things were all in the past, when he and the little bell went out, carrying sacks, matches, cigarettes, a small bottle of oil, condoms, into the sorghum field, sitting on the sack, taking off the clothes of the little bell, just like walking into another world, he read the poem: "The front is strict and the back is chaotic, and the last chapter is as far away as the stars." ”
At that time, "step by step into the kaleidoscope of stars, no one told me where I was, no one told me what I was".
Wang Er took the little bell home, and his mother said to the little bell: "Life is a lonely road, there must be an interesting book to read, this kind of book can only be opened by sex as a key." ”
Wang Er's mother also said: I have read all your poems, and they are really energetic.
Because Wang Er said that to live is to preach.
His mother said, "You don't know what the Tao is, tell you that the Tao is your mother, and it was your mother who made you like this!" ”
But now Wang Er, a university teacher, can't walk into the kaleidoscope of stars, even when there is no class, he has to go to the school, because he is the director of the biology room.
He was the director of the biology room, and it was life, but sometimes in class, he scolded the students until he got the evil out of his way.
Wang Er is still Wang Er, but in front of life, he is no longer as fierce as before.
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Old Yao of the school department fell and was hospitalized during the night patrol, and the hospital asked someone to accompany the bed, and Lao Yao's lover accompanied him during the day, and the school sent someone to accompany him at night.
The young people in the school department were unwilling to accompany him, and the principal found Wang Er and hoped that he could accompany the bed.
Old Yao and Wang Er originally had some small festivals, because Old Yao had once made a rumor about Wang Er, so Wang Er was one hundred and twenty very reluctant to go, but in front of the principal, he still said: I do.
When he arrived at the hospital, Wang Er asked the concierge about Lao Yao's ward, but there was no such person, and finally he learned that because Lao Yao had no relationship, he had not yet received treatment, lying in the emergency room, if he did not hurry to find a relationship, he would have to lie down all the time.
Wang Er found the emergency room, but how to look like a morgue, the original hospital emergency room flipped, temporarily used the morgue as an emergency room, and the dead borrowed a place.
Wang Er was in front of the door, his heart was beating wildly, and he was on par with the first time he talked to Xiao Ling, at that time he talked to Xiao Ling, just to get her, no matter what excuse could not hide this motive, today he came to see Lao Yao, no matter what the reason can not cover up the motivation of pretending to be a good person and climbing up.
The smell in the house was really not good, smelling a nose tube for a lifetime, and finally saw Old Yao in the corner.
However, as soon as he saw it, Lao Yao's lover began to make trouble, and said that he would go to school to make trouble, and Wang Er was particularly supportive, because he felt that if he did not make trouble, the next time he was sick, he would have to lie in the morgue like Lao Yao.
When accompanying Lao Yao, in the confusion, Wang Er squinted, he dreamed of the scene of his old age, when he became famous, became the chief engineer of a certain department, became a consultant of seven or eight societies, and was a great scientist and social activist.
But when he died, he was still at his disposal, wearing a shirt, suit pants, a tie, and a nurse shoving cotton into his ass.
Suddenly, his head slammed into the wooden plank in front of him, and Wang Er woke up, the night was already deep, black to purple, and the stars were bright like some tiny white dots.
"In such a night, man cannot but think of death, and the atmosphere of death is compelling, just as the infinite night will devour man, and I am very small, no matter what I do, I am equally small."
"If I want to die, I will choose a kind of bloody glory, and I hope that they will tie me up and tie me up in an iron chariot to parade the streets, and ascend to heaven in the cheers of the crowd."
It wasn't until eight o'clock in the morning, when Lao Yao's wife returned, that Wang Er was able to leave and walk on the crowded street. It occurred to him that he was now the same as he had been thirty-three years ago.
"I came out of my dad' place, and there were so many people around me, and that time I rushed forward and grabbed the top spot among a billion compatriots, which grew from a microorganism to a big man." "Today, I'm on the road again, as if I'm going to grab some first place again, and grow up hundreds of millions of times in a bigger world."
"In fact, to be a decent person, I am nothing more than the piece of cotton that is stuffed into the rectum after I die."
At this time, Wang Er figured out the meaning of life, figured out the meaninglessness of fame and fortune in life and death, and at this time, Wang Er really stood up in his thirties.
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Remember in "The Golden Age", Wang Xiaobo said:
I was twenty-one years old that day, and in the golden age of my life, I had so many extravagant hopes, I wanted to love, I wanted to eat, and I wanted to turn into a half-light and half-dark cloud in the sky in an instant.
Later, I learned that life is a slowly hammered process, people grow old day by day, and their extravagance is also hour by day, and finally they become like a cow that has been hammered.
I only know how to eat grass and work, I don't know anything else, and I don't even have to tie it up to kill.
Unlike "Golden Age", Wang Er in "Thirty and Standing" has experienced the torture of life, he began to consider fame and fortune, but also sacrificed some things in his personality, such as sincerity, he can no longer want to do what he wants to do, and he can no longer want to say what to say.
Wang Er, who is in his thirties, must do what he does not want to do, and he must say something that he does not want to say, because in this way, he can get a quota to go abroad, get more fame, get the big cake drawn by the leader, and get a good evaluation in the political appraisal.
In his own words, he is in his thirties, not in the system of existence, but in the system of survival, and must consider things with the laws of survival.
He can't go abroad, not because the project is not done well, but because he is "not very serious", speaks and does things differently, and his brain circuits are different from others, so he has to become normal.
Wang Er's mother once said:
Don't listen to your father, his person is not energetic, what do you love to do, first of all, be a righteous person, secondly, be a happy person, what to take the right path, compete for the first place, let's not do this.
But later, Wang Er found that his father took the right path, competed for the first place, and did the right thing, and the house was there, fame and fortune, and everyone had to give a thumbs up when they mentioned it.
The path his mother said does exist, but not everyone can take it, because not everyone can withstand the pressure from the outside world.
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What are the pressures of the outside world?
First, for Wang Er, if he wants to go abroad, he needs the consent of the leaders, so how can the leaders agree with him? It must be that he has done what the leader requires, and only with the affirmation of the leader can he get a quota to go abroad. Wang Er wanted to go abroad, and he had to consider this.
For us, if we are not aligned with others, we will be squeezed out, if we do not have the ability to live in isolation, we have to think about this, your work is in a group, the group relationship is not good, the work is difficult to carry out.
Second, there is also the pressure of parents and relatives and friends, whether it is Wangzi Jackie Chan or Wangnu Chengfeng, it is pressure, Wang Er's mother is an interesting person, but she also hopes that Wang Er will quickly have children.
The pressure from parents and friends is not only to have children and careers, but also psychologically, from ancient times, the filial concept of "parents are not far away" is one.
Third, the pressure of culture and tradition, no matter which era, there are some universally recognized things, these things gradually form a culture, once you deviate from this culture, the pressure comes.
Just like at work, in a group where everyone is working overtime, people who work better than you work harder than you, once you don't work overtime, it is a strange look, at least in your heart, you will consider how others will see you.
Just like Wang Xiaobo, the author of "Thirty and Standing", the novels he wrote were very distinctive and different, but at the beginning, they were not recognized at all, and readers wrote to tell him that the novels he wrote were not serious, saying that he should not write novels, if it were not for Li Yinhe's strong support, whether Wang Xiaobo could withstand the pressure or two words.
Because of the support of Li Yinhe, although Wang Xiaobo said that he could not go on to become a truck driver, but he had no worries, nor would he have a fire in the backyard, just imagine, if Li Yinhe, like many people, asked her husband to earn money to support his family and asked him to work hard, then for Wang Xiaobo, it may be a great disaster.
There are no ifs in life, but I believe that interesting people are interesting after all, and no matter what he does, he will maintain his own characteristics and not merge with the flow.
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What is the "Thirty and Standing" standing?
In traditional culture, thirty and standing is to start a family at the age of thirty, marry a wife and have children.
In the novel "Thirty and Standing", although Wang Er also became a family, the "standing" that Wang Xiaobo discussed was obviously not a family, otherwise, the story should not be like this.
In Wang Er's confusion and contradictions, on the one hand, he is saving himself and being a true and natural self, on the other hand, he is forced by life and meets the expectations of others in a "false and serious way".
Until the end, he finally understood that the "seriousness" he pursued was actually meaningless, just like a lump of cotton that others stuffed into the rectum after death, if he really needed the cotton, he could take it himself and stuff him well.
At the end, Wang Er suddenly understood how great a happiness it was to take care of his own affairs.
At this point, he is telling us that the pursuit of seriousness, the pursuit of fame and fortune, is actually to give themselves to others to cook, because the so-called "serious" and "unorthodox" are defined by others, the so-called fame and fortune, but also need the approval of others, which has nothing to do with themselves.
Therefore, it is oneself who is standing, a person affirms himself, knows what kind of person he is, what kind of things he wants to do, and knows that he can be responsible for himself, which is the real "standing".
Being responsible for yourself means that you can do what you want to do, you can say what you want, anyone can do it, if someone says no, if he is not well-intentioned, it is "false".
Wen | not interesting soul