Author: Lucia Capachione, Ph.D. in Psychology, Art Therapist, Disney Image Consultant, Pioneer in Healing in Non-Dominant Writing and Painting.
01 Who is this inner child? Why are you trapped in your heart?
Inner child is not a new concept, in fact it is derived from ancient myths and fairy tales. Almost all religions tell the story of how a child became a savior or leader. The child is usually lost, abandoned, or life-threatening.
Moses was abandoned in the reeds by the river. Jesus was born in the humblest of circumstances (stables) because "there was no place in the guest house" and his life was threatened by herod the great slaughter. Krishna's birth was accompanied by great danger, and it was told that the king of Gunsar who was going to kill him was about to be born, so he ordered the killing of all newborn baby boys in Mathura.
In Greek mythology, as a child Zeus was in danger of being eaten by his father Kronos. In Zeus's absence, his son Dionysus was torn to pieces by the titan giants. After the roman mythical twins Romulus and Remus were abandoned, baskets carried them on the Tiber. European fairy tales also have a large number of little warriors threatened by man-eating demons and demons, just as Hansel and Gretel face the witch, Cinderella faces the evil stepmother and despicable sister, Jack faces the giant, and Little Red Riding Hood faces the wolf grandmother.
In the 20th century, the psychologist C.G. Jung Jung) and the mythologist Joseph Campbell tell us through their research that these myths and legends are widely circulated because they illustrate the universal human experience. For example, all humans have one thing in common: our lives begin with fragile babies that need to be raised. So we can all empathize with the helpless, misunderstood, and abused children in these stories. Who hasn't experienced some sort of physical or emotional abuse in childhood?
The traits of childhood make children very vulnerable. Insensitive or violent adults are sure to look to children like giants, witches, and cannibals. That's why, whether it's in our minds, picking up a book to read, or seeing them again on the screen, these fairy tale classics always get us a lot of attention again and again.
Walt Disney thought this clearly when he chose the story of Snow White as his first feature-length animated film. Even if he is ridiculed by investors, he does not change his original intentions. He knew the public would respond to classic stories in this new medium. His success stems from his ability to communicate with our inner children.
Since the 1960s, "inner child" has become a hot topic in psychology. Inner children are part of our personality, it makes us feel like a child, and it may make us show a childish or childish side. Hugh Misidy writes about this in his seminal book, Exploring Your Inner Toddler. Child status is also an important part of communication analysis, which was founded by Eric Byrne in the 1960s and spread in the 1970s. Bourne shows us the inner world of three states: the parent self, the child self, and the adult self. The parental self sets rules and regulations (due responsibilities and obligations); the child-type self feels and responds; the adult self is responsible for thinking, making decisions, and solving problems.
In the 1980s, a mental model in which the inner child played an important role emerged: the inner voice dialogue. The model proves that the mind is made up of countless subordinate sub-personalities, such as children, critics, salesmen, overseers, protectors, beach wanderers, artists, hedonists, etc. The goal of inner voice dialogue is to develop a highly awake self whose responsibility is to perceive subpersonality. Like the director of a play, the sober self decides which personalities appear at a particular time. It also needs to know which "actors" lurk behind the scenes (as Jung called the denied self or the shadowed self). Inner voice dialogue allows us to be aware of and accept the existence of all sub-personalities, allowing them to express themselves appropriately. Inner children are often one of the denied selves, abandoned after we become adults.
Charles Whitfield, M.D., is one of the most authoritative authors on the topic of inner children in recent years. In his best-selling book Healing the Child Within, he pioneered the positive effect of the inner child on freeing adult children from dysfunctional families from dependent symbiosis.
What is the point of healing an inner child for those who have not been severely abused during childhood? I think that in order to survive in today's world, we all reject our inner children in a way, which is also a kind of abuse.
In this age of addiction and crime, it is almost impossible for us to grow up if the children inside us are not hidden in our hearts. The world we live in is insecure for sensitive and soft parts of our hearts. But the inner child is the core of our existence. As our emotional selves, it brings us enthusiasm and vitality. If we do not bring the inner child into life and heal it, we will not become a complete and happy adult.
02 What should we do? How do we heal our inner child?
First, recognize and experience it. When we meet our own inner child, we often find that our childhood needs—love, security, trust, respect, and guidance—are not fully met. The absence of these basic conditions can lead to the long-term state of anxiety, fear, shame, anger, and despair in our inner child. The recurring emotional and physical problems in adulthood are actually signals that our inner children are seeking attention.
When basic human emotional needs are not met, individuals are likely to engage in abusive behavior towards themselves or others, further leading to problems in almost all areas of life. It is well known that domestic violence can cause a chain reaction. Some parents commit domestic violence against their children, and these children often abuse their children when they grow up, from generation to generation. After addicts become parents, their children are also prone to become addicts. While the type of addiction may change, for example, an alcoholic mother may have a son who is addicted to drugs, the pattern is the same. Violence and addiction are a tragic spiral that has been passed down from generation to generation and spread throughout our societies.
For individuals, how do we build our adult world based on an isolated, frightened, and unmet childhood with unmet basic needs? This cannot be done. Sooner or later, a crisis will erupt, such as illness, divorce, career turmoil or financial disaster, that will bring down fragile structures and tear down the masks of adult personality. At this point, some people will look inward and re-evaluate their lives. They can seek help from a therapist or self-help book, or join a support group where they can accept their damaged inner child.
The healing of the inner child cannot be carried out independently, after all, the inner child has been lonely for too long. On this path, finding peer support is crucial. A support system lays the foundation for a truly loving relationship.
However, it's important to remember one thing: only you can reinvent your inner child. No one can replace you. Only you have a responsibility to understand and meet the needs of your inner child. So if you're always looking for love in the wrong place, looking for someone to take care of your inner child for you, this book will help you correct your mindset. It can also help you stop saving others' broken inner children, after all, it is their responsibility to reinvent themselves.
This article is excerpted from the mechanical industry publishing house book "May You Be Treated Warmly by Inner Parents: An Artistic Healing Guide for Inner Children".
May You Be Warmed by Your Inner Parents: An Artistic Healing Guide for Inner Children
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