Ideas are not facts, but can be recognized and used: two sides of one body, unity of opposites, psychological balance

In family education, we all know that there is a best child, that is, "someone else's child", seeing that their children are not learning well, they can't help but nag and compare who is who is, and behind the anger and corruption is bad thoughts hypnotizing themselves.

The roadmap of this idea is generally: the child does not study well - can not get into a good university - did not come out later - he humiliated the child pitiful, this terrible unreasonable idea, appeared in the brain, subconsciously has become a fact, this is to take the idea as a fact.

The worse part of this situation is that how the child will develop in the future is a matter of several years in the future, and it is impossible to immediately test, confirm, and check at the moment, so it is difficult to test and evaluate the idea.

At this time, in fact, when we recall our own journey, we will know that the bad ideas we once had were not facts, but only appeared in the imagination of the mind at that time.

For example, walking the night road will always feel afraid, especially through the forest path, a series of dark shadows as if the devil is waiting, we know that we should not be afraid, there is nothing to be afraid of, but can't help it, this is still the idea as a fact.

Why take bad ideas as facts? In addition to scaring yourself, there is also a realistic possibility, that is, the idea may become a fact, that is, the things that are worried are not without a little reason.

For example, if a child does not study well, of course, he will not be admitted to a good university, and he will not be as good as other people's excellent children, which is possible, but this fact will not be as bad as he thinks, and our children will not be the best one in the world, nor will it be the worst one!

That is to say, our bad ideas are sometimes caused by too idealistic, and it is a fact that children do not learn well, and this biggest fact is that if you do not accept it, you just think that children should learn to be excellent, of course, it will bring great disappointment.

It can be seen that accepting the facts in reality is the most important thing, and finding the balance between ideals and reality is the key, and only then will we "not be happy because of things and not because of ourselves." Otherwise, the so-called idea is an illusion, an illusion, and a punishment.

For the fear of walking at night, will touch things, fall, frighten, and even really encounter danger, this may have been a small probability thing, once the idea is magnified and becomes unreasonable, it is equivalent to the fact.

Therefore, the countermeasure to deal with unreasonable ideas, one is to accept the fact that you are at the current level and ability, reasonable assessment, not arrogant, not self-abandonment. The other is to accept the worst possible situation, such as walking at night and falling down to scare, the child who does not learn well is not as good as others.

On the basis of this reasonable assessment, it is reasonable to deal with the psychological thoughts caused by real problems.

For another example, the phenomenon that ideas are not facts can be used from another angle.

There is a story that the child wants to eat ice cream, but the mother will not let it be eaten, and the father begins to intervene and tells the child that he wants to eat it. Of course, the child said yes, the father asked if he wanted to eat a few, first say one, the father said no, eat more.

In this way, in the end, Dad said that it was best to eat a refrigerator, pour out all the things in the refrigerator now, put in various flavors of ice cream, refrigerated frozen, and think of anything.

Of course, the child also knows that his father is talking nonsense with him, but this idea is similar to the fact that it has satisfied the need in the mind.

Thoughts and facts, knowing and doing, knowing and acting, psychology and behavior, body and brain, are originally two sides of one body, opposites are unified, positive thoughts should be acted hard, negative thoughts should be tested reality with actions, and finally psychological balance should be achieved.