Wen | the original diary of The Little Fish Daddy, welcome to forward and share personally
After the child has just understood things, he is full of curiosity about the world, and the understanding of external things comes from the parents, then the parents should do a good job of education and guidance in time to help the children understand the various experiences and rules in life.
Parent guidance has deviations, and the impact on children is not a star and a half
Zhejiang Jiaxing a 3-year-old Meng Wa lost, close to zero degrees of cold winter, is the little guy alone at a loss, met the patrol of the police, normally speaking, with the police uncle escort, Meng Wa will not be afraid and smoothly to the home.
But in the face of the police uncle who is ready to help her go home, Xiao Mengwa does not have a sense of security, but is very resistant to the help of the police uncle, from the moment she saw the police, she has been shouting "don't arrest me" in her mouth.
The police uncle kindly explained to Meng Wa that he was not arresting him, but to send him home, but in the face of the police uncle to carry himself to the car, the child was still very afraid, "don't arrest me" has not stopped, fortunately, in the end the police uncle still contacted the child's family.
Coincidentally, a police officer in Lu'an City received an alarm from a kind aunt, and a girl and her family were separated and found by the aunt. When the police asked about the child's situation, the child, who was already uneasy, cried out with a "wow".
Although the aunt and the police on the side repeatedly explained that they were good people, the child just cried and cried, and it was not good to coax it until the child's parents took the child home, and the child's crying stopped.
At that time, many netizens were aggrieved for the police, obviously they wanted to help, who knew but let the children be afraid of this, as if the strange uncle on the street was not terrible, and the police who saved people were the bad uncles.
The separation of two children and their families may be accidental, but the fear and fear of both children to the police uncle is worthy of our deep thinking as parents.
When it comes to children's problems, we must look at the parents and families behind them, we all know that the police help solve the problem, but why do children treat them as bad people? The most direct reason is that parents give wrong guidance and hints.
Most parents in life must have said such things: if you don't sleep, let the police arrest you, if you don't get dressed, let the doctor give you injections, if you can't finish your homework tomorrow, the teacher will beat you...
These threatening words can make parents' education effective in a short period of time and achieve the purpose of making children obedient, which is really "tried and tested" for many parents.
But the most direct harm this method causes to children is that they are confused, and they treat the doctors who save lives, the teachers who teach and educate people, and the police who maintain safety as the bad people who punish themselves.
Shadows will affect the child's judgment, resulting in it is difficult to trust others when they grow up, so that the child's personality is distorted and even treats the people around him in a threatening way, which cannot achieve the effect of education at all.
Reject intimidating education, positive education is the most active and effective
The significance of children's mistakes is that parents help children correct their mistakes, rather than punishing themselves, and positive guidance is the most effective in the face of children's mistakes.
Maintain good people for children
Adults want to face children the same, they also want to show their good side to others, parents should learn to create a person for their children.
From this point of view, parents' praise should be public and timely, and criticism is best placed in private.
The meaning of apologies lies in practical action
Many children blurt out "sorry" without thinking, this kind of apology is meaningless, they don't even think about what they did wrong, they just think that it is enough to say this sentence.
Therefore, parents do not cling to the child is to deny the mistake, the key is to teach him the correct way to deal with it, and take every mistake as an educational model, even if the child is stubborn and does not want to say sorry, but the behavior is corrected, it is also meaningful.
Love runs through the entire process of education
Whether it is punishment or criticism, parents should never skimp on their love for their children, and friendly communication with children is an indispensable part of making mistakes.
On the one hand, to soothe the child's emotions, on the other hand, to give the child a sense of security, do not affect the parent-child relationship because the child makes mistakes, let the child admit and correct his mistakes, and understand the original intention of the parents is the real education, that is to say, love can not be less at any time.