Words hurt more than knives.
When people are old, in the process of getting along with their children, they must know how to "cherish words like gold" in order to avoid all kinds of unhappiness caused by "broken thoughts".
01
When you are sick, don't say anything sad.
The older people get, the more they will understand that the good health of the elderly is the greatest blessing for their children.
Not only is it a big save on medical expenses, but there is also a lot of time cost.
In the adult world, who is not working hard while arranging a trivial life. Once your parents are sick and hospitalized, this balance of effort is instantly broken, and you have to squeeze the already meagre "spare time" and try your best to serve in front of the hospital bed.
As long as the children will take the initiative to assume the corresponding obligations, parents should actually feel pleased.
For example, contacting hospitals, determining diagnosis and treatment plans, arranging escorts, and providing logistical support are all measures that allow the elderly to feel at ease.
Especially in the face of difficult diseases, finding an authoritative expert who can diagnose and treat the disease is the greatest filial piety of children.
But many people, it is not these things that are valued. They stubbornly insist that "small illnesses can be dragged on, major illnesses can be carried, and they can't get out of bed, and they will never ask their children for help." "As a result, small diseases drag into major diseases, and major diseases become incurable diseases.
Even so, for the examination and treatment arranged by the children, they are most concerned not about the treatment itself, but about how much it costs, even if the children have made up their minds to do it, they have to find all kinds of excuses to "not be cured".
For example, after the fracture of the elderly, they can do minimally invasive surgery to repair it in time, but some elderly people just don't spend more money and choose to stay in bed. It seems to save a surgical fee, but the injury is a hundred days, the children have so much time to accompany them every day, coupled with the risk of secondary fractures at any time, the consequences are often more difficult to control.
This kind of practice, which seems to "save money" for children, is often due to small losses and big losses, and the gains are not worth the losses.
What makes children even more frustrated is that once they can't agree with their parents on treatment, they can't move to throw out a sentence: "Dead count, dead is good, a hundred." ”
Parents habitually say sad words, which will only extinguish the confidence that their children have accumulated so hard to accumulate again and again: there is no money to earn and borrow, and they must cure their parents' illness. But no matter how hard you try, your parents are unwilling to cooperate, this is a man-made and irreparable wound, and little by little, the children's affection is worn away.
02
When rejoicing, don't say cool words.
Optimistic people always see hope, while pessimistic people always fall into despair.
A netizen told the story of her and her ex-mother-in-law: the ex-husband was raised by her mother and was particularly filial piety. The old lady is also very helpful to her son and daughter-in-law, and never hesitates to take out all her money to help the little two. But she couldn't see the intimacy and happiness of the little couple the most.
Especially during the New Year's Festival, when the family eats a reunion dinner, the former mother-in-law must go through the "past": how she suffered a lot to raise her son to adulthood, how worried about the "uneconomical, big hands" of the small two, at the end, she was in tears, she was sad, it seems that if she did not follow her practice of living a hard life, the days could not continue.
A good meal, every time it is so unhappy and scattered.
It seems that the family should be "full of sorrows", and it should be "like a great enemy". No matter how happy and celebratory things are, once they arrive at the former mother-in-law, they are not worth mentioning: for example, promotion and salary increase, no big deal, and higher positions and salaries have not been realized; children are well-behaved and sensible, and it is also natural to go home with the award, and what is more vigilant is that "the hour is over, and the big is not inevitable." "Friends send charcoal in the snow, boo cold and ask for warmth, must be another plan."
Such a day, in addition to being depressed, there is no trace of warmth and happiness to speak of.
I am reminded of what a philosopher once said: "Happiness is not a feeling, happiness is an ability." "A person who cannot perceive happiness, even if there are golden mountains and silver mountains, cannot experience the slightest happiness."
They become prisoners of the heart, struggling over and over again in the net of self-restraint, but always passing by the exit.
The old man who likes to talk about the wind and coolness emits a full of negative energy from the inside out, which makes people daunted and avoided.
03
When it's tough, don't tell the truth.
A family, there are brothers and sisters with broken bones and tendons, there are couples who quarrel and do not remember overnight feuds, and there are parents and children who are "not ugly mothers", at any time, the family is united, there is no obstacle that cannot be overcome.
I remember reading an essay, titled "Mother's Passbook", which tells the story of when the author was young, his family was poor, he did not have enough to eat and wear, and when he was not warm, his mother always encouraged everyone to insist on it again, because his mother still had a passbook, as long as he survived the current difficulties, when the time came, he could use the money in the passbook to better improve the life of the family.
But until they became adults, mom didn't take out the passbook. However, the brothers and sisters have understood that it is precisely because of the "mother's passbook" that they do not feel that they have nothing, and they can confidently survive one difficulty after another in life.
In a family, if the parents have such wisdom and perseverance, it is like a light in the dark night. Those who are bent on chasing the light will always forget the troubles of darkness and move forward firmly.
Parents are often regarded by their children as dependent, and they also control the course of the family ship, if they cannot play the role of the "main backbone", just like when fighting, an army loses its commander and will soon "collapse into an army".
Therefore, in the face of life's dilemma, responsible and wise parents often do not exhaust the truth, but become the inexhaustible source of strength for their children.
04
Conclusion:
When people are old, the most important thing is to figure out what they should do, rather than blindly asking their children to do something.
Living your own life well, maintaining good health, a happy mood, and emotional sustenance is the greatest help for children.
Author: Like the wind is light as a cloud.
Your happiness, my blessings.
Images are from the web.