Source: Jimmy Comics
"A sunny and happy child is a child who can be autonomous, he or she has the ability to face all kinds of difficulties in life, and he or she can also find his or her place in society."
This is a view shared by the French pedagogical community.
So, how to raise a child who is psychologically sunny and away from the dark?
Together with many senior french parenting experts, a series of highly operational suggestions have been put forward to parents.
01/ Train your child's ability to be alone
Psychologists say that security is not a sense of dependence, and if a child needs a warm and stable emotional connection, he also needs to learn to be alone, such as leaving himself in a safe room.
To gain a sense of security, a child does not necessarily need to be present at all times, even if he can't see you, he will know in his heart that you are there.
Experts say that for children's various needs, adults need to "respond" instead of "satisfying" everything.
02/ Satisfy your child with a degree
It is necessary to artificially set some boundaries, and the requirements of the child cannot be met unconditionally.
"Another prerequisite for being able to be in a good mood is that children can withstand the inevitable setbacks and disappointments in life."
Dr. Thomas, a child psychiatrist, told us,
"Only when the child understands that the attainment of something does not depend on his desires, but on his abilities, can he attain the full happiness of his heart."
The sooner the child understands this, the less pain he will have.
Be sure not to always fulfill your child's wishes in the first place. The right thing to do is to procrastinate a bit.
For example, if your child is hungry, you can make him wait for a few minutes.
Don't give in to all your child's demands. Rejecting a child's requests will help him to gain mental peace.
Receiving this "unsatisfactory reality" training in the family will make the child have enough psychological endurance to face setbacks in future life.
03/ Handle it cold when your child gets angry
When a child gets angry, the first way is to divert his attention and find a way to make him go to his room to get angry. Without the audience, he himself will slowly quiet down.
Appropriate punishment and follow through.
The strategy of saying "no": Don't dryly say no, explain to your child why it doesn't work.
Even if the child does not understand, he can understand your patience and respect for him;
Parents should agree that one cannot say yes or no; banning one thing and giving him the freedom to do another.
04/ Face up to his flaws
If the child is different from other children, such as the child is too fat, the ear shape is problematic, or the personality and behavior are very extreme,
Parents must not deny these facts, but actively discuss with him, find solutions, or accept reality.
In this regard, going to a specialist is the best approach, because children generally take the words of experts (such as doctors) seriously.
05/ Criticism, right thing, wrong person
Criticize children to be on the matter. For example, if a child breaks his mother's jewelry, it is right to say this:
"You see, if you go and play something you don't have the right to play, something so bad happens."
It's wrong to say, "You're so bad, how can you break my jewelry?" You didn't want your mother to wear it!"
The first sentence clearly tells the child that his mistake is that he "moved something that should not be moved" and did not deny the child's character.
The second sentence characterized the child's sex, which made him very depressed and hit his self-confidence as a good child.
06/ Let him do it
Let the child do what he can early, and he will be more proactive in the future.
Don't do things for the child too much, speak for the child, make decisions for the child, before the trick is substituted, you can think about it, this thing, maybe the child can do it himself.
Don't say, "You can't do it, you can't do it!"
Let the child "taste the new". Sometimes adults forbid children to do something just because "he didn't do it."
If things aren't dangerous, let your child try it.
07/ Let the child open up
Communicating with people is the ability, and speaking out the thoughts in the heart is a kind of ability, 14-year-old boys, need the correct guidance of their fathers,
Actively speaking the words in his heart in a timely manner will avoid doing some shady things, and if he does not control and avoid in time, he will continue to be more terrible.
Happiness is an ability that allows him to see the good, positive side of life. You can also actively face bad things.
Say more positive things: "We're so happy together, aren't we?" We were so lucky!"" Don't be upset, next time we will do better. ”
Before the child is 8 years old, if there is no sunny and happy mother, then the child will float the shadow of her mother on herself at the age of 12.
Therefore, at this time, we must not think that children are just children, fickle, and do not think that it will be good when they grow up.
In fact, the darkness has seriously appeared in this family, if there is no stop and guidance, it will only be more serious and terrifying when it grows up.
08/ Emphasize what you get and know how to love
Family friendship, sensual enjoyment, reinforce these "gains", let him know that he is enjoying when he is enjoying.
Reinforce his understanding: I have a lot, and what I have is precious.
He must be made aware that these relatives are good to him, not should be, not necessary, no one in this world owes anyone anything, the love given to him is the responsibility of the adults, and he must know how to be grateful.
They will also be parents in the future.
There is no such thing as sitting around in this world, and he must understand that what his parents give him is not a necessity, not a habit, but a love.
09/ Must know how to respect others
No matter what the identity of the parents is, no matter what the identity of the people around them, children must know how to respect others, and there is no identity distinction.
Maybe it's Dad's friend, maybe It's Mom's co-worker, maybe Daddy's driver, maybe it's the school gate keeper, etc.
Those who are not related to him by blood, he must be grateful for his giving.
Finding, accumulating, and strengthening those beautiful and positive things is the sweetest gift to children's lives---- there is harvest every day, there is love, tomorrow will be better, to work hard!
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