Author: Teacher Dashu
Source: Big Tree Elementary School Pass
No one will accompany you for a lifetime, and people will always grow up in lessons.
01
We are surrounded by good mothers who love their children, but if this love becomes coddling, it will be a sharp blade that destroys the child.
A few days ago, my friend complained to me, saying that her son is 4 years old, and she has been carrying a baby all day, afraid of a mistake.
All these years, all day long back pain, the first few days really can't stand it, go to the hospital to check, said that it is lumbar disc herniation.
Can you say she's not a good mom? She was tired all day and watched over her children 24 hours a day.
But such a child in the mouth is afraid to melt, holding in the hand for fear of falling, can her child grow well?
I was the proverbial "bad mom."
During the winter vacation, my daughter and I stayed at my grandmother's house for a while, and I said, "Don't wash her clothes, let her wash herself." ”
My mother shouted, "Do you think the child is twenty years old?" ”
I smiled and said, "If you're twenty, you'll not only have to wash your clothes, but you'll have to cook for you." ”
At that time, her clothes were washed by herself, and the room was also cleaned by herself.
It's not that I'm lazy, it's that the children are getting older and have to take on the responsibility of housework.
Although the daughter is also spoiled by the elders, sometimes she loves to be spoiled.
But I think it's normal, girls are not "women".
But now she has also become a little girl who has an opinion on everything, explores independently, and does not accept defeat when encountering difficulties.
If I work hard for her, make decisions for her, overprotect her, and remind her in her ear from time to time to "slow down", "be careful", "don't do it", then this child will be insecure about the world, let alone the courage to explore the world?
02
If you want to be a good mother in everything, you will gain a bad child.
Because of your overprotectiveness, the child becomes timid;
Because of your own efforts, the child becomes unintended;
Because of your interference in everything, the child becomes rebellious.
And if you're a "bad mom," your child will learn to take control of it all on his own, to influence and control his surroundings.
This will help the child grow independently and let them learn more.
When a problem occurs, the child does not just passively accept or cry helplessly, but controls the problem within the scope of his own ability to deal with, turns passive into active, finds a way to solve the problem, and achieves the final victory.
"Bad mothers" are even less likely to spoil their children.
It is normal for children to encounter problems, and if parents come forward to help them at this time, they will lose the confidence and courage to challenge.
In other words, parents stand up to help their children, in fact, depriving their children of the opportunity to challenge survival.
Therefore, the "bad mother" has the confidence to challenge her child's life and the courage to go to the future, rather than hiding behind the back of the parents and being a heel.
"Bad moms" are also more aware of their responsibilities.
Let the child do everything to participate as much as possible, rather than talking about letting the child take responsibility, so that the child has a sense of mission.
While children may sometimes be hurt, they don't shy away from responsibility because they're afraid.
03
Try to be a sixty-tenth mother, maybe you can get a hundred and twenty children!
When he is not eating, do not trot around him, in order to let the child eat a bite of food, you did not eat for half an hour. Confiscated his dishes and chopsticks, and ate themselves hungry.
When you fall, don't panic and rush to help him, smile and say to him, "It's okay, get up on your own." ”
When you go to school, don't be his alarm clock, and if you are late, take responsibility for yourself.
Parents can not accompany him for a lifetime, people always have to grow up in the lessons.
When you're in class, don't ask every day what class it's for tomorrow, and then help him pack up his stationery and books.
Your own things should learn to sort out by yourself, if you really forget to bring, do not send them over.
You can find a way to solve it yourself, find a child of the same grade to borrow it.
When studying, don't help him check his homework one question at a time, but check it yourself.
If you are wrong, let the teacher help him deepen his impression, and no one will help him check the wrong questions during the exam.
The road ahead still needs the children to walk on their own.
Mothers can only watch, but will not hold on; will help, but will not get used to it.
From today onwards, I hope you are also such a "bad mother".
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