The walnut tree on the fort —a letter to his father

The walnut tree on the fort —a letter to his father

Author: Cheng Bangping

Dear Dad,

Hello!

I've never written you a letter, not that I don't want to write, but that you can't read and you don't want to bother people. Moreover, you have been working outside the home for many years, and you have no fixed place to live, and you can't send letters. I also study abroad for many years. Or, although people are wandering, their roots are still in their hometown. The walnut tree in my hometown still comes to my mind from time to time.

Turning over the hill, the walnut tree on the fort stood in front of me with a stubborn figure. Ever since I was a child, it has struggled with its mighty, huge body to the blue and endless sky to fight for the square ground of its own life. Until many years later, I recalled the scar that was deeply imprinted in my heart, and it turned out to be like the back of a faltering, careful and humble man who sought to survive.

The winter snow at the head of the fortress wall is very white, you see, when the east wind blows through the wall, a clump of light green grass emerges from its own small head, fragile and full of hope, they can look at the other side of the mountain all day. As the evening sun set, they lowered their heads again, humbly curled up against the wall. This scene is inevitably sad. The history of the fort can be traced back far, and it soothes these lost souls with the thick and warm palms of its own accustomed to the dappled years. The walnut tree next to it also stretched out its father's thick and strong palm, comforting the children.

The wind swept through the walnut trees and rushed straight to the foot of The Fort Hill. A ruined earthen house stood out in the eyes: the velvet green of the blue tiles flowed with the years, the peeling soil of the walls was scattered with the memories of my childhood, and the jagged wooden sticks tied up the door opened the weakness that was difficult to hide in my heart. This old house that has vicissitudes over the walls of the fort has also vicissitudes over the walnut tree. Great, this is the year you personally stacked brick by brick, with your hands as thick and strong as tiles, page by page. That year, our family had a new house; that year, your big hands were warm and powerful.

Many years ago, I drifted to the southeast coast like an untied boat, pursuing my future ideals and life. 365 days along the coast, 300 days with light winds and 65 days with strong winds. Immediately following the wind, many times, the sky will follow the rain, sometimes pouring, sometimes pouring. Whenever it rains, my heart will also drain. How can this coastal raindrops stir up the heart of my student from the arid northwest region?

How could I forget. In those difficult days, the house seems to be unable to live with our family. The rain outside the house is rippling, and the pots and pans in the house are clanging, which is a leaking rain in the broken roof! There are small raindrops oozing down from invisible crevices, slowly and intermittently; some of the slightly larger holes, the raindrops fall like beads connected to the thread, falling in a string; and then there are connected into a straight line, which must be held in a large basin to put it for a while, because if the basin of rain is small, it will be full in a moment. For many nights, our whole family hurried to prepare pots and pans, so that the continuous rain outside could be with the clanging in this house, and a beautiful concerto of rain was played. How many nights we fell asleep in this rain concerto.

The next day, we will hear my mother's anxious and gentle complaints: "What kind of house are you building?" Broken like pants, eyes everywhere! Pants, as soon as the wind blew in, came in through the hole; this house, as soon as it rained, dripped down the hole. "Whenever this happens, you are always relentless in words, slowly erecting a ladder, climbing up the roof, your arched body bent all the way, your feet carefully moving from one place to another, and then slowly lifting the rainy page of tiles and inserting new tiles. The arched back on the roof that day made it impossible for me to see your expression, and I didn't know what was in your heart. But I distinctly felt that the weak back of the bow was the top beam of our home. On that day, you were my hero, and you used your dexterous hands to mend the leaking and broken house, no, more importantly, the poor and broken home. On that day, your hands are magical and full of power.

Yeah, I can't forget that rainy autumn. You, who don't usually call, dialed my number from Murakami's only phone. I know you're not not calling, you're trying to save those few bucks. Just a few dollars, you may have to do most of the hard work on the construction site, that is really hard-earned money! "Baby, our house is leaking again!" This time it rained heavily and heavily... The courtyard wall has collapsed! Fortunately, the house has not collapsed! "Your voice on the other side of the phone is intermittent, like when our house leaks rain. I don't know what you had in mind at the time. But I know that at this moment your trembling hands are not holding the handle of the phone, but the distant hope of the whole family. What you know is that I went to the big city and lived better; what you don't know is that that year, I learned to smoke. Every night, when I lit a cigarette, the smoke was thick, and I seemed to be a dispensable presence in the smoke. And when the huge desk lamp reflected my back on the wall, the bluffing and huge back was so weak and humble. What you don't know is that the rain along the coast is more, it rains more, and every time it rains, my heart hurts for no reason; what you don't know is that every time I hear the rain outside the dormitory, I can't sleep all night and over again, as if there is an old man in my heart, he has been sighing and sighing for a long time...

Since then, I've hated rain, I hate hearing the sound of rain, especially the continuous rain. Later, I learned that on that occasion, you quickly repaired the courtyard wall the next day, and the broken tiles on the roof were replaced with new tiles, and then hurried to the construction site in Lanzhou to work. At that time, I was also in the southeast coast of the city. I can imagine you hunched over a construction site and struggling to climb the stairs with steel formworks on your back, just as I bowed my head and hunched over my waist to survive in this bustling big city. This reminds me of the walnut tree on the fort's colt, which is struggling with its majestic, huge body to the blue and endless sky to fight for the square inch of its own life. When I thought about the scars in my heart, I suddenly realized that this is the humble back of us who are busy in the field and carefully seeking work!

That year, I had already booked my train ticket home.

When I turned the hill again, the walnut tree on the fort stood in front of me with its stubborn figure. The white snow on the walls of the fort was bright, like an old man with silver hair who had grown another year. And that walnut tree, with an old and vigorous posture, stretched hard to the boundless sky, and the upward force was even more determined in the confusion.

As for this, I ask for nothing but peace and security outside!

Good luck with good health!

Your son Bang Ping respectfully

March 18, 2021

(Recommended unit: Zhangxian Education Trade Union)