Text | Xia He · Sound | Jennings
I have heard a saying: "It only takes a moment to fall in love with someone, and it takes a lifetime to forget a person." ”
It's easy to fall in love, but it's hard to be apart.
How long does it take to forget someone you once loved?
I think the answer may be in your life, in your story.
The less independent you are, the more memorable you are
I would like to share with you the story of my friend Ah Ying:
Ten years ago, Ah Ying's husband cheated. Ah Ying fought with him for two or three years until both sides were exhausted and ended the marriage.
Because the wrong party is not Ah Ying, after the divorce, Ah Ying got a house and also got hundreds of thousands of dollars in cash.
It is reasonable to say that there are rooms and tickets, as long as you run your life well, your life should be good.
But Ah Ying let himself fall into a huge haze about the past, while scolding her ex-husband's wolf heart and dog lungs, and at the same time, she was in love with her ex-husband.
The nagging words have been said for many years —
"I really shouldn't get a divorce, and if I don't, I'll at least have someone to rely on."
"I don't know how to live alone!"
"I should have spent time with him in the first place!"
This is not all, Ah Ying said that when he woke up in the middle of the night, he would always habitually touch the other side of the bed to see if her ex-husband was still around him...
In this way, ten years have passed, the work has not progressed, love and love have not improved, eat the old books, read the old people, squander their savings, and stagnate in life.
But still fantasizing like a silly girl, the ex-husband would suddenly change his mind and return to his side.
I felt in my heart that this was really a woman's greatest sorrow.
Think of the words that we often lament: marriage is sometimes like a gamble, and when we enter marriage, we all have beautiful dreams, but it is difficult for us to predict who will leave the scene halfway.
In fact, a person's departure is not terrible, the terrible thing is that the person who stays behind is obsessed with it.
Spend all your time nostalgic for the past, thinking that you have lost a treasure, in fact, the other party is not good, but you are not independent enough, not free enough, you will mistakenly regard the other party as the only one in this life.
Can't forget a person, really does not mean how much you love him, but you yourself can not give yourself a sense of security and happiness, can not give yourself a new life and new atmosphere, will always be pinned on others.
All the joys and sorrows are only for one person, and they have never abandoned him in the past and now, so they finally live themselves into an isolated island, live to sit in a well and watch the sky, live to paint the earth as a prison, and live to lose themselves.
Miyazaki once said:
"Don't rely on a person easily, it will become your habit, when the separation comes, you lose not a certain person, but the pillar of your spirit, no matter when and where, learn to walk independently, it will make you walk more calmly." 」
You know, life is like a train to the end, some people will get off on the way, but there are also people who will, we must learn to wave goodbye, but also learn to smile and greet.
You sparkle, he fades
Someone on the Internet asked: "What is the hardest thing in the world?" ”
One highly praised answer was: "Forget the person you loved." ”
Deeply.
The bravest act in the world is that a person in a passionate love affair suddenly decides not to love anymore and chooses to forget.
Wang Manni in the TV series "Thirty Only", met the sea king Liang Zhengxian on a vacation cruise ship, and she was attracted by Liang Zhengxian's mature and graceful temperament, and quickly fell in love with him.
In her eyes, Liang Zhengxian is excellent and golden, and she needs to look up and love him.
Although Liang Zhengxian also likes Wang Manni, he also has another woman. After Wang Manni learned the truth, she was very hurt and chose to turn around and leave.
During that time, she was very miserable and unforgettable to the person she once loved.
But instead of immersing herself in pain all the time, she took the initiative to choose challenging work and threw herself into her work, completing tasks that others thought were impossible.
When she met Liang Zhengxian again, Liang Zhengxian was still the one who picked flowers and weeds, and nothing had changed.
And Wang Manni has become more confident and beautiful after being tempered in the workplace.
Liang Zhengxian was once again attracted to Wang Manni, and when he proposed that he wanted to vacation with Wang Manni, Wang Manni had long lost any passion for him.
He only said lightly: "After such a long time, how come you haven't changed at all." ”
We used to think that falling in love with someone is a lifetime, inseparable, can't forget.
But when you really leave a person, after a period of time, the once passionate surging will return to plain, and the pain that was once deep in the heart will slowly disappear.
Time will always be kind to those who bravely turn around and move forward, quietly smoothing the scars in their hearts.
As Sanmao wrote in "Autumn Love":
"Everything will pass, and tomorrow everyone will go their separate ways." Life does not matter the length, it does not matter whether it is joy or sorrow, it does not matter whether it is love or hate. Everything has to pass, like those flowers, those flowing water..."
No matter how much pain we have experienced, as long as we don't want to stay in the past and choose to move forward, everything will pass.
There is no need to try to forget, walking, some people fade out of memory.
Don't miss your stars for a passerby
There was an American woman who was a role model for many people.
Her name is Meyer. Musk, who originally lived in South Africa, began working as a part-time model at the age of 15 and married at the age of 21.
After marriage, Meyer discovered that her husband was a cold and cruel person, and when she was pregnant, he let her work.
Meyer slowed down because of his stomach pain, and he actually scolded Meyer.
He forbade Meyer to meet with family and friends, and if Meyer resisted, he would be severely beaten.
At the age of thirty-one, Meyer chose to divorce and leave the house to raise three children alone.
The hardships of life made her miserable and disappointed, but she did not choose to turn back.
In order to support her three children, Meyer worked many jobs and had to squeeze out time to pursue a master's degree in nutrition.
No matter how tired she is and how old she is, she bravely moves forward and never gives up the pursuit of life.
"No matter how dim everything looks, there's always light ahead," she said. If it's too dark, turn yourself into a light. ”
At the age of 69, she became the spokesperson for a famous American makeup brand, and her image occupied four billboards in New York's Times Square.
She is a 72-year-old "internet celebrity" and an inspirational idol in the eyes of many women.
She is also a successful mother who has raised three excellent children on her own.
Her eldest son is Elon, the founder of Tesla's electric car, the world's richest man. Musk.
Her most famous label is not Musk's mother, but herself.
She used the legend of her life to tell those who could not let go of and could not forget, life is up to me, don't miss your own stars for a passerby.
Maybe someone is struggling in the whirlpool of feelings or marriage, wanting to give up but afraid of the bumps in the road ahead, preferring to guard the acre and three points of land in front of them and live with grievances.
Haruki Murakami once said, "Don't worry too much about the present, don't worry too much about the future, when you experience some things, the scenery in front of you is different from before." ”
If you do not give up suffering, how can you reap happiness; if you only linger on the small scenery in front of you, how can you see the mountains and the sea?
When you choose to give up and boldly move forward, the more you go forward, the more you will find:
There are too many different scenery ahead, as long as you don't stop walking, you will eventually go to your own stars and the sea.
In the end of life, those experiences are just jokes after tea and dinner, and people who once thought they could not forget are just a passer-by in the crowd.
Someone said: "To forget a person, it only takes two things, time and new love." ”
In fact, what works more than time and new joy is a person's attitude towards life.
That is: change yourself and keep moving forward.
Because there is always a different scenery ahead, on the way forward, there are always people coming and going.
When you have read the beauty of the world and seen better people, you will not linger on the people and things of the past.
Therefore, learn to accept the impermanence of the world, learn to accept the sudden departure, do not need to be sad and nostalgic for the past.
Go all the way forward, where the flowers are most beautiful, to the highest part of the mountains.
Meyer Musk
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