In 1995, the German writer Benhard Schlinger wrote his most famous novel, The Reader, which made the German novel the first time it topped the New York Times bestseller list and caused a sensation in the world.
Some people see love in books, and some people see sin in books.
The heroine of the story, Hannah, is ashamed of illiteracy and longs for true feelings, but proudly denies the indelible crime.
The contradictions and pity that caused her humanity stemmed from two words: inferiority.
And the same was true of the teenager she fell in love with. The causes and manifestations of low self-esteem vary, but the only thing that is the same is:
They are trapped in inferiority, so they spend their whole lives atonement for it.
People with low self-esteem cannot even hold on to love
In Berlin after World War II, it was unusually cold that winter.
The 15-year-old Michal met Hannah, 36, and they didn't know that each other would be the fate of this life.
That day, Michael, who had jaundice, vomited uncontrollably on his way to school.
When he was dizzy and almost unable to support himself, a beautiful middle-aged woman not only lifted up the weak him, took him in her arms and gently soothed, "Child, get up, it's all right", but also helped him wash the dirt on the ground.
In this moment alone, Michel almost fell in love with her. She's Hannah.
Michal hadn't felt such a gentle and comfortable feeling in a long time.
Because of his frail health, he was not favored at home, and because of his poverty, he almost became a transparent person among his classmates.
His inferiority, presumably, came from the fact that no one in this world cared about him anymore.
That beautiful woman, to him, was like the warm sun in winter. He longed to be warmed and healed by her.
After recovering from her illness, Michal inquired about Hannah's home and came to her with a bouquet of flowers. Looking at this clumsy and obsessive teenager, Hannah finally let go of her heart, and a bad relationship quietly happened.
They enjoy the joy and passion of secret romance, like all ordinary lovers.
The only difference is that Hannah asks Michal to read it to her on every date, and she laughs at the comical plot of the book and sheds tears over the sad sentences in the book.
Her emotional appearance of immersing herself in the world of the book completely overwhelmed Michael.
Michal found that whenever there was unpleasantness, as long as she took the initiative to read aloud for her, the atmosphere instantly broke the ice.
He learns to control Hannah's emotions with reading aloud, and uses the superiority of learning to attract Hannah's attention.
Interacting with a mature and sexy woman allows Michal to gradually break the inferiority complex, become confident, for her insistence on reading with her heart to make Michal's homework begin to get better, he is no longer lonely, has friends, gains attention, and regains self-confidence.
As Michael becomes a cheerful and confident teenager, Hannah's heart gradually sinks.
Seeing The young and beautiful classmates around Michael, she is just a woman who is no longer young, and the only win is That Mitchart's current obsession with her.
What's more, there was a hidden secret in her heart—she never read aloud herself, never opened a book, just because she was illiterate. This brewed Hannah's deeply buried inferiority complex.
Hannah, with her age and experience, has always occupied the initiative of her relationship with Michael, who reads for her exclusively, so that her inferiority can be redeemed.
When Michal is no longer just her Michael, she develops uncontrollable fears: What can be the end of this relationship?
Is it as Zhang Ailing wrote: "After a man thoroughly understands a woman, he will not love her." ”
The quarrels and the Cold War continue to dominate their lives, and in the end, Hannah chooses to leave without quitting because of the change of work. The relationship came to an abrupt end.
The book "Inferiority and Transcendence" believes that the pursuit of a sense of control and superiority is a human instinct.
This love is like a life-saving straw for two people who have been inferior, and both people are eager to grab it and go ashore. It's just that they are grasping at different ends, one side rising and the other inevitably falling.
As in the poem that Michal wrote for Hannah when she was still in love:
When we open our hearts,
We merge into one.
After that,
I am me,
You are you.
To disguise inferiority is a form of self-destruction
Eight years later, when Michal met Hannah again, he had retired from his infancy and was a law student, often attending the trial with his professors.
They met in a solemn courtroom. This is a case about the trial of War II war criminals, and one of the defendants is the invisible Hannah.
During World War II, Hannah joined the SS as a guard in a small concentration camp, where she was responsible for selecting prisoners on a monthly "death journey" – Auschwitz.
In a fire, guards locked up more than 300 Jews, and only one Jewish mother and daughter survived.
Michal fell into deep pain, and he was obsessed with blood, but he did not know anything about Hannah, who was in love with her.
It was also at this moment that he discovered that Hannah was no longer an angel with a charm, but a demon who slaughtered the Jews.
The other 5 guards unanimously denied guilt, only Hannah voluntarily admitted, but accompanied by the confusion brought about by ignorance, she thought that everything she did was a request from her superiors, and even asked the judge: "If it were you, what would you do?" ”
At the last trial, the judge picked up a report detailing the massacre.
The remaining five guards unanimously identified Hannah as the mastermind of the report. The judge asked Hannah to write against her handwriting, and Hannah hesitated.
Shame because of inferiority, when inferiority is infinitely magnified, disguised as Hannah's only weapon in the face of the world.
She was afraid that others would look down on her, especially when she spotted The boy she had loved in the auditorium, Michal.
How could she reveal herself to his face and lose step by step?
At this time, Michal recalled the bits and pieces of their previous relationship and the details they read for her, and suddenly realized that Hannah could not read at all, of course, there was no way to know the report.
Michal may be the only witness who can prove Hannah, but he does not dare to tell the truth and face shame, so he can only remain silent and seek decency. Later, he made the same choice as Hannah at that time, and did not say goodbye.
In the end, Hannah refused to do handwriting because she hid her illiteracy, and because there were no other witnesses, she was considered the main culprit and sentenced to life in prison.
People with low self-esteem always love to pursue perfection, but in fact, they cannot accept their imperfect selves. Bury your inferiority in the hidden corners of your heart.
In reality, why aren't we?
It is hard to make money outside, but to return to your hometown to create the illusion of "full of mines";
Obviously lost love, but deliberately shouted out the declaration of "single happiness";
A marriage that looks like a god, but the love of the people proves that Qinse is harmonious...
In reality, the more people lack what to fear, the more they love to hide, and even desperately create their own strong illusion, do not know that this is easier to push themselves to another kind of destruction, can not face the real self, is to kill the real self.
Hidden inferiority will never be able to truly transcend inferiority and truly become strong, but will spend his whole life paying for his inferiority.
Transcend inferiority and reconcile with yourself
The first time Hannah quietly left, taking away Michal's true love.
The second time Michal struggled to leave, taking away hope for each other's lives.
Since then, all the growth of this teenager in the future seems to be punishing himself, although he has achieved fame, he is no longer the cowardly boy, but the marriage has failed, no longer love, life is no longer complete and happy.
There was an unspeakable secret in his heart, and this secret was even heavier than love, and the guilt turned him into a taciturn inferior man.
So he began to read it to Hannah again every late night, and sent the recorded tapes to prison one after another.
After that, it was a full decade, without interruption.
He knew that salvation and redemption were their common lessons for the rest of their lives.
Hannah opened the gift in disbelief, and when she heard that it was Michael's reading, she couldn't help but burst into tears, and her heart collapsed.
She finally let go of the self-esteem and pride that she once valued the most, borrowed the original book from the administrator, compared it to the tape, and taught herself to write one by one, taking a big step towards getting rid of inferiority.
In the fourth year that Michal continued to record for her, he received Hannah's first letter, and Michal looked at the childish handwriting and understood that she had learned to write.
Life will have a lot of misses and lateness, but as long as you are willing to start, it's not too late. In this world, there is nothing in this world that can save itself except myself.
Michael was genuinely happy for Hannah, who was also given a reduced sentence and was about to be released from prison in eighteen years. Michal made some good place for her and met her on the eve of her release.
By this time Hannah had turned into silver hair, wrinkles had climbed up her face, and she had become a real old man.
Instead of responding to her hopes about past love affairs, Michael asked about the lawsuit she was accused of.
In the face of those mistakes, Hannah only said lightly: "People cannot be resurrected from the dead." ”
Disappointed with each other, Michael turned and left.
Psychologist Adler once wrote:
"An experience, a trauma, is not the cause of a person's success or failure. The meaning that people give to this experience and hurt will determine the ultimate direction of our lives. ”
Beyond inferiority, we first need to have a clear understanding of ourselves, rather than simply checking and filling in the gaps and achieving the goal.
Trying to change her shame as an illiterate is just Hannah's breakaway from the fate of the small pattern self.
Put yourself in a greater responsibility and feeling, in order to truly break through the inner discord.
Hannah's return is no longer simply reading and writing, but a genuine reflection on the actions of the Nazis, which allows her to see the ignorance and meanness of the perpetrators of the crime, including her past self.
At this time, she realized that her inferiority was a deeper level of fear and repentance.
At dawn on the day of her release, Hannah hanged herself, stepping on a thick stack of nazi books at her feet and leaving all her savings to the Jewish girl who survived.
In this extreme way, she redeemed the soul that was difficult to live and reconciled with her own inferiority.
The crooked font on the will, spelled together, is called "Hope."
If given the choice, no one wants to be an inferior person, and everyone wants their life to be meaningful.
However, when we encounter unexpected encounters with inferiority, how to resolve it has become a lifelong problem.
Shi Kang wrote in "Those Worthless Experiences": "Hiding inferiority, avoiding jealousy, and pretending to be self-respecting is the most I have done in my life." ”
But you could have had to.
Acknowledge the clown side of your role, take inferiority as the driving force of life, resolve the negativity and evil brought about by inferiority, and be a useful person to society, you can also become a better self.
May you be good and upward, instead of letting your life be trapped in inferiority forever.
The author | There are good in the north, enjoying the little girl Bo and observing the social love life
The anchor | Su Nian Jinshi, WeChat public number: Su Nian Jinshi FM
Pictures | Movie readers' stills, network (if there is infringement, please contact to delete)