Wen | Cheats Jun
It is said that children will kiss whoever sleeps with, and whoever takes a long time will kiss whom, but have you ever thought about it, in fact, there are reverse choices in this matter.
Put on adults, it is also "whoever brings the child, who is closer to the child."
I realized this because I saw a vivid example around me.
My friend accidentally got pregnant with her second child when she was one year older. With her body, it was impossible to take these two children with her afterwards. The in-laws are all in their hometown and offer to help bring one and let her send the boss back. So, she sent the one-year-old boss back to her hometown, carried by her in-laws, and brought the small one with her husband in the city.
The eldest went to kindergarten in his hometown, and when he was going to go to elementary school, the couple took the eldest over, and the two children really began to get along day and night.
A friend once told me that every time the in-laws came over, the boss's demeanor was immediately different, his voice became louder, even the walking posture was different, and he dared to grab things with the second brother, and even went to beat the second brother. The in-laws' attitude towards the eldest and second boss is also obvious, and they are particularly spoiled by the boss, and every time they come to carry something, the boss loves to eat, and also buys clothes and shoes for the boss. Grandparents said, anyway, the second is still young, the clothes worn by the boss can continue to wear.
Back at home, the boss can sit on grandma's lap at will, and grandpa will carry the boss when he goes out, but the second brother does not have this treatment.
Of course, my friend's attitude towards the eldest and second eldest is also a little different. Although she always said in her mouth, "I will be flat with a bowl of water", when she saw the second eldest, the smile on her face was obviously more than when she saw the boss. Usually, I always hear her praise the old man's cleverness and filial piety, and know that it hurts people, but I have never seen her praise the boss.
This is the most vivid example, the child who brings more, who has the deepest affection with the child.
Knowing this "parenting truth", it is not difficult to explain some of the phenomena that we often complain about:
For example, grandparents have never had children, and they are not close to children.
Except for the mother who is pregnant in October and the child communicates with her heart in the belly, other family members have established deep feelings with the child through daily care. Only by looking at the little man in front of him crying, making trouble, laughing, trying his best to provide him with the best food, drink, and clothing, and worrying about him when he is sick and feverish, and the person who hates the fever is himself; he rejoices and worries for him, because he has survived many sleepless nights, and because of him, he feels how beautiful life is. Only then, when you see this little man, will you have a sense of joy and accomplishment from the inside out - he is what you watched grow up, and your life is inseparable from him.
In the book "The Little Prince", why does the little prince only love that rose? Because he watered her, caught worms for her, talked to her. He had given time and energy to her, so in a large field of roses, she was the one he saw as unique.
Therefore, whether it is to feel that grandparents do not kiss the child, or feel that the father does not kiss the child, in the end, it is still the adults who pay less on the child. People have always cherished only the things they have invested in a lot of costs, and don't expect blood to naturally overcome everything.
Senior nursery, psychological counselor. Understand the parenting and psychology, but also pay attention to the self-growth and family management of baoma, and strive to be the intimate person of mothers.
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