Wen | snow fell without dust
Wu Guijun said in "Like a Person": "Liking a person begins with appearance, falling into talent, being loyal to character, being fascinated by sound, and being drunk with affection." ”
She explained the process of liking a person in a poem.
It is undeniable that although feelings begin with appearance, it is still a gentle character and an empathetic heart that has not tired of relying on for a long time.
Truly liking someone is the process of feelings moving from naivety to maturity.
Liking someone is not to give her the best material life, but to do your best to make her live a good life; to like someone is not to give her the most abundant spiritual life, but to make her feel unafraid in the love you give.
As Wu Guijun said in "Like a Person": "May you meet a mature lover, may you be less hurt when you are obsessed, and may you catch up when you wake up." ”
It turns out that the correct posture of loving a person is not to desperately please, let alone to pay hard.
01
Find a mature person to fall in love with
I saw a sentence on the Internet: "The best love is probably like this, I worship you like a hero, you love me like a child." ”
Really good love is to meet a mature person.
He won't argue with you over trivial matters, nor will he argue with you about winning or losing in big things. It's about coaxing you when you're wayward and letting you lose your temper.
He respects your efforts, accommodates your temper, and will live with you at the same frequency.
In the movie "Zhiming and Spring Bridge", Spring Bridge said to Zhiming:
"Don't make me worry all day, I don't want to be the one who is abandoned. I just want to be a little woman and want to have someone to protect me when things get into trouble. ”
Indeed, Yu Chunqiao spoke the voice of all women.
Love is addictive, but no matter how obsessive and fascinating love may be. The ultimate goal of love should always be accompanied by the maturity of everyone.
Just like Yu Chunqiao and Zhang Zhiming, they were entangled in their feelings for eight years. Finally, Zhang Zhiming finally grew up and matured, and he said to Yu Chunqiao: "Yu Chunqiao, you let me grow up." ”
There is always a good ending in TV dramas, and there are happy endings. But life is not acting, and it will always give you a blow when you are proud of the spring breeze.
Love is the same, you think it's good, but it may not be able to develop in the direction you like.
Xiaoyu has been married for 4 years and has grown from a simple girl to a three-year-old child's mother. Because the in-laws are not in good health, the mother-in-law's parents are still helping their brother with their children. Therefore, Xiaoyu had to take the child himself.
In order to live a good life, Xiaoyu is very busy every day. In addition to taking care of the children, he also does some part-time work when he is idle. She thought that if she earned more points, she would be able to help her husband reduce the financial burden.
However, Xiaoyu's husband is not as mature as hers. He only manages to work in the unit, and when he comes back from work, he only knows how to play mobile phones, and housework is waiting for Xiaoyu to do.
Because he is always playing like a child, Xiaoyu does not argue with him less, but her husband will not become mature because of the quarrel, or the same as before, I don't know if Xiaoyu is tired or not.
According to relevant surveys, men's maturity is the most optimistic quality for 80% of women when they are in love.
Indeed, finding a mature and stable person to live will relieve you of a lot of burdens. Because he understands your difficulties, understands your efforts, and will help you share the storms of life together.
If the man is not mature enough, he will respond to the sentence: "I want to find a man to shield me from the wind and rain, but I did not expect that the wind and rain in the second half of my life were brought by him." ”
Therefore, it is better to fall in love, get married, or find a mature point. Because only when husband and wife grow together and make progress together, life will be better.
02
Don't be obsessed with one person
I saw a saying on the Internet: "The perfect relationship is not to find someone who is like yourself, but to recognize the differences between each other, to accept and appreciate the differences." Instead of struggling to find the so-called perfect object, it is better to strive to become a more perfect self. ”
In fact, in a person's life, whether it is successful or unsuccessful, the important thing is not how others comment, but that they have a scale in their hearts, can distinguish between good and bad, and can recognize their own position.
In the emotional world, only by understanding where you are and your true weight will you be less hurt.
There is such a philosophical story.
Once, Plato asked the teacher What is love in Socrates? Socrates said, go into the wheat field, go all the way, don't look back. Pick a wheat with a full ear, pick it only once, can't turn back, and come to me later.
Plato listened to his teacher and walked to a wheat field, from this side to that side, but he did not pick anything, and returned empty-handed.
The teacher asked him, "What about the ears of wheat you picked?" ”
Plato replied, "I saw an ear of wheat with a full grain, but I thought there was something fuller than it, and when I came to the end, I found that the ear of wheat was not as full as I had seen before, so I did not pick anything." ”
Socrates said, "This is love."
Her friend Xiaofan is in love, but she finds that her boyfriend seems to be not single-minded about love, and he also has contacts with other girls outside.
When the boyfriend was not there, Xiaofan inadvertently indirectly went to the phone calls of several strange women, some of whom lied that they were classmates of the boyfriend, and some of whom lied that they were colleagues of the boyfriend.
XiaoFan has quarreled with her boyfriend and made trouble, but it is useless. In the end, Xiaofan walked out of the misunderstanding of feelings, she did not cling to this not very good love, but chose to quit.
In fact, Xiaofan is right to quit, in the wrong love, how to go is wrong, if you stick to it, it will only make yourself hurt more, and even ruin your life.
I like a quote from Haruki Murakami: "Don't worry too much about the present, don't worry too much about the future, when you experience some things, the scenery in front of you is different from before." ”
Xiao Fan had experienced it, so she repented, because she saw that he didn't love her, and he didn't cherish him.
In a person's life, choosing love, you must choose a full grain of wheat as Socrates said. But if you fall into the wrong feelings, it will also bring disaster to yourself.
Life is like drinking water, cold and warm self-knowledge, must not be vague, especially in love, find it is not good, immediately withdraw away. Don't cling to it, so that you will be less hurt.
03
Only when you wake up can you be born again
I have seen such a passage.
Grandpa asked his grandson, "When you grow up in the future, what do you want to do?" The grandson replied, "I want money and beauty."
Grandpa expressed dissatisfaction with the answer, and the grandson continued: "I want to have my own career and love." Grandpa said, "That's right."
In fact, people in different realms have different understandings of things. Just like love, it is the affection between men and women, but there are true and false, deep and thick.
Only by having a deep understanding and understanding of the love in which you are located will you repent when you experience a bad love, and you can still catch up with the love that really belongs to you.
A nurse in a hospital, beautiful looking, good figure. She should have enjoyed the tenderness of love in her life, but instead of finding a boy who matched herself, she fell in love with a married male doctor.
Later, in the three years that the two people were in contact, she paid a lot for the doctor, but in the end she was abandoned, and even said that she was shameless.
She was very sad, almost desperate. Her parents learned of this, took her to another city to work, and started a new life.
She found a very handsome primary school teacher, and after marriage, she had a son and a daughter, which was very happy.
She woke up in the wrong love and found the right exit of life in time, otherwise she would really regret it for life.
It is said that life is not only in front of the eyes, but also in the distance. No matter how difficult the state of suffering, no matter how tragic your life is, do not take these as the reasons for your own depravity.
There's a saying that goes like this: "When life gives you 100 reasons to cry, you also have to come up with 1,000 reasons to laugh at it." ”
Emotional mistakes are inevitable, don't spend your life carrying a temporary sin, it is not worth it.
As long as people do not change, after repentance, happiness will eventually belong to you.
Love, only when you meet to know, all the awkwardness is to tell you, if you are uncomfortable with each other, stop the loss in time. Don't let the wrong feelings drain your life, but turn to find true happiness.
At this time, waking up is the most important thing, and only when you repent will you have a new life.
04
There are so many people in this world who compare hearts to hearts, and when they love, they are good, as if nothing is a thing, and when they do not love, they will distinguish everything, and they will be extremely determined. If it is not clear, it will only consume energy.
Whether a man or a woman, the right way to feel emotional is like this:
If you love, please find a mature and stable person, so that you can be unafraid in the day;
If you love but can't, get out in time to keep yourself from being obsessed;
If you don't love, you must wake up so that you will be less hurt.
In fact, to love someone in this way, you can love "comfortably".
As Wu Guijun said in "Like a Person": "What hurts you is not the other party's desperation, but your insistence on fantasies." Love is always the effort of two people, not one person's compromise. ”
May in this life, hold the hand of one person, guard one person to grow old, and share a white head with each other; there will be whispers in the early days, and children and grandchildren around the knees in the evening, and there will be no regrets in this life.