It seems that as the years go by, the speed of time has become faster and faster, and in the blink of an eye, 2021 has become a thing of the past, and it is a new year.
Although last year also set a flag to study well this year, the country is easy to change, the nature is difficult to move, and inertia is still the biggest stumbling block on my way forward. So zero and zero total, combined, only read exactly 60 books in a year.
Looking back at the past year's reading, it is clear that the reading plan is changing repeatedly. At first, he concentrated on reading Natsume Shushi's related works, and after reading it, he originally planned to continue to study Japanese literature, but out of realistic considerations, he began to lean more towards the field of modern and contemporary Chinese literature, so most of the year he basically read two writers, Yu Hua and Lu Xun. Around October, the final reading plan was probably established, that is, to systematically read all the works of a writer based on Modern and Contemporary Chinese literature, while alternating between the new books published that year and the classic works that had already been published.
Although the plan has changed a lot, the books I have read seem to have some kind of connection. If I had to sum up my annual reading experience in one word, it would probably be life.
Yes, it's life. Somehow, starting this year, it is easier to think about some macroscopic and abstract theoretical problems, obsessed with the pursuit of the meaning of life, want to expose the various masks that people wear for success, or because they have been single for a long time, and occasionally argue whether love is necessary for individuals.
I know that the above questions are basic questions that many people have pondered throughout the ages, and many people have their own views and opinions, but it seems that the significance of these questions is not so necessary. Frankly, it is true that even if the true answers to these abstract questions are understood, I am afraid that there will be no substantial change in life. For people who value reality, it seems ridiculous to expend energy on it.
But in any case, the search for the meaning of life is still a part of people's lives, and I always believe that only when people have a clear understanding of what the meaning of life is, can they go on firmly and without fear.
Looking back at the past year, it is difficult to say happiness, and it is difficult to say pain. Life seems to be caught up in some kind of hazy mood, and there are few moments of true happiness, nor does it seem to have the pain of tearing the heart and lungs. More often than not, it is a state of being somewhere in between, neither sad nor happy.
But I do get strength from reading, because many of the books I read this year are telling me how to live.
Camus, for example, who ruthlessly tears apart the face of life from a philosophical level, tells me that everything about reality is absurd, absurdity is everywhere, there is no point in deceiving ourselves, and all we have to do is face reality and dare to resist.
Lin Xinhao also told me that all philosophical assertions are made by philosophers themselves in search of meaning, but there is no universal philosophical theory in this world, all we can do is to find a suitable reason and explanation for our lives, so as to promote ourselves to continue to go on.
Beauvoir also proposed that life does not have that moment of reconciliation with everything. People can only reinvent themselves in the process of growing up continuously until they die. But she also firmly believes in the sacred meaning of freedom for human beings.
Books on literature also gave me a lot of relevant thoughts. Huang Xiaodan said in "Fourteen Poets", "Life is not a one-time trade-off between the metaphysical world and the metaphysical world, but a thousand times of return. This seems to coincide with Beauvoir's view, yes, there is no direct shortcut to the search for the meaning of life, and we must continue to think about this problem in our continued lives.
After reading a lot of Mr. Lu Xun's relevant works, I found that his life trajectory was the same. People say that Lu Xun is a great warrior, and the sanctification of Lu Xun has never stopped. But Mr. Lu Xun is also a flesh and blood person, and there have been times in his life when he has doubted and wandered, and "Weeds" is the best example.
However, the reason why Lu Xun is great is also because he can get out after struggling and entanglement, "If there is no torch after that, I am the only light."
How does a person's life end up? Since this is your life, live as much as you want. I am reluctant to say something positive and exhort everyone to live a life that is beneficial to the country and society, and I only hope that in this life, at least I can be worthy of myself.
Lu Xun chose the life of a warrior, so he became a warrior. Cosimo in Calvino's Baron in the Tree chooses to live in the tree for the rest of his life, and even if he dies, he will dissipate in the sky. Virginia. Woolf's Orlando, bisexual, lives for hundreds of years, but neither gender nor time can stop Orlando from becoming himself. In Pa. In Juskinder's Perfume, Grenouille, although a perverted murderer, pursues his dreams all his life, while the other characters in the book blindly chase money, as if they are marionettes in the hands of capital.
Yes, life can not always be smooth, we will eventually face a variety of challenges and setbacks. But reading tells me that to live is to wade through the river of suffering. Some people don't want to cross the river, some people sink halfway, even after crossing the river, we are soaked.
But I, willing to cross the river.
Attached are the top ten books for personal reading in 2021.
"Fate faces us, and it is fate that we constantly challenge. Not primarily self-esteem, but primarily our consciousness: the recognition of our meaningless living conditions. We too, and sometimes we pity ourselves. ”
Camus's ultimate purpose in writing this book was to demonstrate how man finds meaning in the absurdity of life that motivates him to persevere, and he believes that this meaning stems from a rebellion against the absurdity of life.
This book still requires the reader to have a certain reading foundation, as a collection of essays, many places in the text are more jumpy and difficult to understand. But as Camus said in his evaluation of Kafka's novel, there is no need to strive for perfection, and it may be sufficient for the reader to know the approximate meaning.
Camus first proposed the root causes of absurdity, and the way to live in the face of absurdity, suicide, and pinning one's hopes (religion or ultimate values), both of which would not work. The only thing that works is resistance. Although Camus later cited absurd people and absurd works, he further discussed the role of rebellion against absurdity.
In short, it is useless to just recognize that life is absurd, because recognizing absurdity only makes you realize the meaninglessness of life. Only on this basis can we further rebel against the absurd, and we can find the value of the present in this seemingly meaningless life.
"I prefer not to ask how long or when. I prefer to keep this possibility in mind — The raison d'être is not to be asked for. ”
Szymborska's poems are not as difficult to read as imagined, and although as modern poetry, complex imagery, and the logic of jumping and breaking still exist, its popular and straightforward verses and titles still provide a reference space for readers to interpret.
Her poems are about politics, about terrorists, about the stars, the sky, about the silent plants, and about the people who live, the infinite possibilities and reverie. The angle is subtle, but it always draws out the big questions. Several of these poems, such as The Tower of Babel, The Funeral, and Vietnam, seem to me to have a formal uniqueness that I never felt before when I read poetry.
Thanks to Szymborska, I have been constantly discovering the possibilities of life, the possibilities of life, and the possibilities of the world in the process of reading.
"A man willingly sets a strict rule for himself and sticks to it to the end, because without it he will not be himself, whether it is for him or for others."
As part of the Ancestral Trilogy, Calvino argues that The Baron in the Tree is trying to express the question of how people survive.
This is most evident in the novel by Cosimo, who has lived all his life in a tree, not out of gambling or impulsiveness, but in keeping with the promises he has made with himself.
Life needs such a spirit, tenaciously choosing its own path to walk, rather than going with the flow. In fact, most of the other characters in this book are like this, it is difficult to see the change in them, and all of them stubbornly insist on their own nature, but Cosimo is particularly prominent in this regard.
Of course, Calvino probably wants to emphasize it too. Insisting should not be blind, priests, fathers and others, although they also insist on their own goals, but obviously only value themselves. And Cosimo can still take care of others in the process of insisting on himself, which is a great wisdom of life.
"I was twenty-one years old that day, in the golden age of my life. I have a lot of extravagant hopes. I want to love, I want to eat, and I want to turn into a half-light and half-dark cloud in the sky in an instant. Later, I learned that life is a slow process of being hammered, people grow old day by day, and their extravagance disappears day by day, and finally they become like a cow that has been hammered. But I didn't foresee this on my twenty-first birthday. I felt like I was going to be fierce forever and couldn't hammer me with anything. ”
Wang Xiaobo, I want to praise him as a genius. In his novels, he uses witty and humorous language to explore questions about existence, life, and society.
The era described in The Golden Age is full of suffering, struggle and blindness. However, Wang Xiaobo does not describe everything he sees in bitter and vengeful words, and he always talks about these serious difficulties in a playful tone like a mockery. At the same time, his characters always fight against life with a hanging posture.
This special gesture of the character just reflects his own philosophy.
Wang Xiaobo told me with his spirit of defiance that people should always be fierce and always young, rather than choosing to compromise, yield, and withdraw.
"Tears must not wash away fate."
As a new work published by Lu Xun before his death, "New Edition of Stories" is indeed stronger in terms of artistic maturity than "Scream" and "Wandering", and it can basically be said that every piece is worth playing.
In a witty tone, from the perspective of ordinary people, the stories of ancient gods and immortals and sages are modernized and adapted, which is very interesting to read. Several characters are very typical, and at the same time, they also show Mr. Lu Xun's profound literary skills and grand phenomenal power.
The most shocking is the "Forged Sword", the bold plot design makes the story not only full of ghost legends, but also the dramatic plot development is also amazing. This piece is full of tragic colors, from the beginning people are deeply immersed in it, and its theme is naturally self-evident.
At the same time, Mr. Lu Xun retains the characteristics of using details to outline the satire and criticism of the actual situation, and reading many articles can find this insinuation feature, which not only makes me admire Mr. Lu Xun's meticulous life experience, but also makes me impressed by his exquisite text control.
All in all, "New Story Edition" is a book worth reading, and it is a collection of short stories that can be called a complete circle.
"I found my green laurel, which was greener than the bay, and my forehead would always be cool and smooth, covered with the feathers of wild birds—the feathers of owls and nightingales. I will be immersed in strange dreams. My fingers don't wear a wedding ring, I just wrap it around the grassroots. ”
Seeing that the back was deeply touched, living for four hundred years, from the barbaric feudal era to the impetuous modern society, the white colt crossed the gap, the vicissitudes of the sea, she (he) was still full of love for nature, full of reverence for new things.
The inner gentleness and cultivation allow her to remain independent under the polishing of the years, but the change of the times is too fast after all, and the meaning of life, love, happiness and happiness she explores has long been defined differently.
So memory becomes her only way to fight against this world, and she lives awkwardly in the present, maintaining the stability of her life with the state of mind of the past. But those illusions will eventually be shattered, she is alone, lonely, do not know what reputation is, in her heart, is still the back of Sasha four hundred years ago.
She could not get out of the past, naturally could not take root in the present, although the stability of the heart allowed her to spend four hundred years of real life, but this crack between the heart and reality, after all, she could not resist.
"Life is not a one-time trade-off between the metaphysical world and the metaphysical world, but a thousand times of turning back."
Readers who treat this book purely as a theoretical, scholarly reading may be a little disappointed, and although the author does provide us with some new perspectives and ideas for interpreting the works of some poets, it still cannot hide the pulse of truth that flows between the lines.
But I think this is also very good, in the face of such a sensual text as classical poetry, we do not need to be too restrained and rational. The most important thing is to immerse yourself in it, to make an emotional connection with the verse, rather than to seek accuracy, and to interpret a standard answer.
"Since life is approaching its limits, I hope that the last few lines of my story will be peaceful."
Contrary to what I had envisioned, Artugewind did not use esoteric theoretical knowledge to explain the logic, but used real cases to illustrate what he wanted to convey. This makes the book relatively easy to read.
Here Attugwende highlights the question of how should we face the last stages of life? Death is inevitable, even in today's extremely developed medical technology.
However, it is the development of technology, the possibility of prolonging life, that blinds our eyes. Does it really make sense to blindly prolong a patient's life at all costs in the final stages of life?
Terminally ill patients are filled with various tubes and filled with various medicinal solutions to maintain the heartbeat. And we only pursue survival in the physiological sense, regardless of whether the patient is awake or not, whether it is painful, is it worth it?
This is of course an extremely urgent issue, especially in China's traditional environment of filial piety, and not giving up the salvation of family lives for moral reasons is naturally the choice of most people. But Artugwende proves that perhaps it makes more sense for patients and families to walk comfortably and easily through the last leg of their lives than painfully prolong their heartbeat.
When people are young, they have to ask "why people live", and when they grow up, they don't ask, not necessarily because they know the answer, but because for some reason they feel that they no longer need to ask this question. When you stop asking this question, it may mean that you have found the answer. ”
At first, the feeling of the book was not too good, and the praiseworthy points were indeed easy to understand, humorous, and indeed collected a lot of information, which allowed the reader to have a simple understanding of the relevant philosophical concepts.
But his advantage is also its weakness, attracting interest requires gossip and rumors, and the analysis of theory can only be tasted and stopped, not in-depth. The most important thing is to ignore some other philosophers who are very influential, in short, as an enlightenment popular science book, there is still a big gap compared with "Sophie's World".
But the last few chapters did impress me to some extent. It can be said that the last few chapters form a logical closed loop, and I understand that the actual meaning of this book is not in the all-round, dead-end philosophical history of science, but to explore what is the meaning of life and how to find the meaning of life.
Of course, Lin Xinhao finally gave his own answer, all metaphysical questions have no ultimate answer, the meaning of life can only rely on their own choice of a suitable explanation, to coax themselves, let themselves have motivation.
Coupled with his final mention that he did not find the ideas in the Sisyphus Myth so convincing, I was deeply admired for a while.
I have heard many truths, but I still can't live this life well, probably so.
He didn't repent, he didn't expect to get higher inspiration. He lived in seclusion only for his own, only pleasure, just to live alone. He was immersed in a life where he was no longer disturbed by anything, and felt that such a life was beautiful. He lay like a corpse in a rocky tomb, barely breathing, barely beating his heart, but living strong and debauched, and no one alive had ever lived like that in the outside world. ”
All the people in the book pursue their own desires: capital, power, love, but only Grenouille thinks about his existence after satisfying his desires. He is a murderer who has killed more than 20 teenage girls, but he is the only one in the book who insists on pursuing his dreams.
handkerchief. The more Juskind portrays Grenouille as heinous, the more he can reflect the contempt and abomination of the puppets who have no self.