In the novel "Black Lady"9, the girl did not reply to the letter, she still enjoyed her loneliness

Hello:

It was me, who could not write to you for a long time, and in those days I was a thief who secretly accompanied me, hiding under the window of the bookstore to accompany you to read a book, and I did not say a word to you, nor did I hear a word from you, even so, it could make me greatly satisfied.

I didn't dare to look at you, and being together for so close and long made me excited and afraid, afraid of being recognized by you. But then I found out that I thought about it a lot, you didn't find me, and even in the days when you went to the bookstore, every time I appeared, I didn't attract your attention at all.

As you walked, your feet crossed my feet, and I wanted to look up at you, afraid to meet your eyes so that I did not have the courage to look up at you.

I was sad that my hand was injured the other day and I couldn't write to you, and although I hadn't heard back from you, every time I secretly watched you get the letter in the corner, it could already give me great satisfaction.

The first time I followed you, I saw you discard the letter, which made me sad for a long time, and the way you looked when I discarded the letter was imprinted in my mind and made me unable to sleep. Later, when I saw you take the letter back to the dormitory, you may not know what a great handout such a small gesture is for me. It made me feel more confident writing to you, and I began to feel confident, confident and happy that you could see what I wrote.

Those days were the happiest times for me, and the people around me thought I was abnormal, but in fact, where did they know how much happiness was buried in my heart.

I'm going to explain it to you, though I'm not a person who likes to explain to others. I was a technician in our factory, and I repaired the machine once, yes, it was two hours of that afternoon power outage, and we were repairing the machine. Because I was young and inexperienced, I had the biggest heart in my heart during that time, and I was worried about other things, so I accidentally got injured. Staying at home all day and not being able to see you almost drives me crazy. Later, I plucked up the courage to wait for you at the bookstore you must go to during the holidays, so that I could see you once a month.

Please don't think of me as a perverted stalker, I don't want to hurt you, just want to make friends with you, as for the future, I haven't had the luxury of asking for so much.

The three words of making friends haunt my mind every day, I am a lively and cheerful young man, there are many friends, but the idea of wanting to make you a friend, day and night torture me, and day and night to bring me happiness.

I'm sorry, I'm incoherent, I don't know what I'm talking about, and I don't know if you can understand my feelings. I'm sorry to bother you.

Oh, the thing you came home called me very sudden, but I asked the factory to get to your home address, hoping to receive your reply, tell me that you are all right, thank you.

Man in the Wind

After reading the letter, the black man's mood was very complicated, and the contents of the letters that had not been turned over for a long time came to his mind. When she hurried home that day, she hesitated whether to bring the letters, thinking that they had become a thing of the past and would never receive a new one.

Those letters, in the heart of the girl, became weaker and weaker, and to this day she has almost forgotten, she is busy feeling the new home, feeling the impact of the sudden new environment that has remained unchanged for so many years.

After reading it roughly, he read it again, and for the first time he had the urge to reply. She was a little afraid in her heart, afraid that if she didn't reply to the letter this time, she would never receive the next letter. Her heart shook, and she didn't know what to reply to. After all these years, she has forgotten how to make friends and has forgotten to communicate her ideas with people.

All these years, her only friends were the books, and those books told her so many things, so many feelings that she didn't know, and every book was a world of the heart. But these books can only input her, and cannot hear her voice.

The girl suddenly wanted to show her heart, she did not like to talk, silent almost autistic, peaceful heart is not like her age, she never showed her displeasure, even she almost did not displeasure, everything in the outside world had nothing to do with her, she almost completely lived in her own small world, only with books.

This time receiving the letter had some changes to the girl, she did not reply to the letter, she really did not know what to say, there was no way to agree to a request to be friends with a person she did not know, she even felt that some of the words in the letter were too frivolous, so that she had some disgust. For the introverted personality of the black girl who never shows her feelings, the feelings and emotions that are bluntly stated in the letter read like a wave of electricity to stimulate her, calm down and feel frivolous, maybe the girl is a little stubborn.

In the end, the girl did not reply to the letter, worried that she would never receive the letter again, and soon faded it, and she felt that it was natural to look at fate. Maybe this is also as others say, she has a lonely pride in her bones.

Later, the girl wrote a diary, and she recorded the feelings in the book that touched her and the sudden feelings in her life. There are few records of actual events in the diary, and the most common ones are momentary thoughts of feeling, feeling, and inspiration.

The more he recorded, the more he found that he had more and more strange ideas. She would suddenly think of the destination of man after death, and she would feel that everything was just empty; she would suddenly ponder the meaning of the dream, whether it was the fulfillment of the subconscious wish, as Freud said, or whether it was completely meaningless, just the product of extra energy.

During this leisure time, the girl was busier, because she did not have to worry about the next day's work, and she read late. The only thing to do when you go out is to buy books. When I first read the analysis of Freud's dream, I broadened my understanding of the spiritual world. Many of the perceptions outlined in the book are commonly experienced by everyone, and for the first time they are included in the system.

After she had her dreams, she would also try to analyze the origin of her dreams, and she found that some dreams might be the fulfillment of wishes, some dreams were reflections of things that had been forgotten during the day, and some dreams she herself could not explain. Some dreams are deeply remembered, some dreams are remembered at the moment of waking up, and then they are forgotten, and some of the feelings in dreams are still haunting their minds after waking up for a long time.

After some days, she found that her memories of the dreams were much deeper than before. She also dreamed in her dreams, two of which had three layers, and many times, in her dreams, she struggled to distinguish whether she had returned to reality.

All this made the girl look a little frightened, and she returned to the state of trance she had been in when she was in private school. She had a lot of thoughts, and kept coming out of her head, and before she could think about it, her brain was monopolized by the next thought. The girl is even more lonely, which is different from loneliness, it is a kind of enjoyment, an independent enjoyment that is completely wrapped in her own world.

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