Mr. Lin Yutang wrote in the book "My Country and My People":
"Love is like a carved ship, see how you appreciate it, and how you control it."
Indeed it is.
Maybe falling in love with a person only needs a touch of heart at first sight, but if you want to love sweetly and love for a long time, then we need to constantly find ways to constantly preserve our feelings.
How can you make a man stay down on you all the time?
In fact, if we carefully observe, we will find that those women who are pampered and cherished in their feelings are often women who will "toss".
Trouble to understand
Psychologist Wu Zhihong once said:
"If you don't bother each other, you can't build a relationship."
In the relationship, perhaps many women will always feel that they love him, so they must give him less trouble, and they can do what they can do.
But in fact, if two people are too clear in everything and always have no intersection, then in the long run, men will have a special sense of existence, and the relationship between the two people will only become more and more distant.
Proper trouble is the best catalyst for feelings.
This is because passing through trouble will not only make you feel the tenderness of being pampered, but also make him feel the happiness of being needed.
I have seen such a story on the Internet:
There is such a couple, when two people are together, the girl can not lift the hand, the shoulder can not carry, and even twist a bottle cap to ask the boyfriend to help.
For the girl's "trouble", the boyfriend not only did not resent it at all, but always looked proud after helping the girl, as if to say: "Look how good I am, worship me!" ”
So is the girl really so weak that she can't unscrew the cap?
In fact, girls often exercise, in layman's terms, carrying a bucket of water on the seventh floor will not breathe!
There is a saying:
"The reason why you have an object and still live so lonely is because you make people feel that you can solve all problems alone." 」
It's a bit absolute, but it's very real.
Truly intelligent women have always known how to create a sense of superiority for men and make men feel adored.
And the best way to achieve this is to know how to trouble him and let him be needed.
Learn to be spoiled
Someone said:
"In a relationship, stupid women have more tempers; smart women are spoiled."
For women, to resolve the contradictions and differences between two people, being strong is never the best way.
Many times, it is to retreat and advance, not only to give the other side no hurt feelings, but also to achieve their own goals in the end.
In the TV series "Know It or Not", Wang Ruofu and Lin Xiaoniang are a particularly good contrast.
In front of Sheng Hong, Wang Ruofu did not know how to show weakness at all, and when things happened, he either yelled or threatened to lose his temper, and in the end, not only could things not be done, but also made Sheng Hong very unhappy.
On the other hand, Lin Xiaoniang is just the opposite, but whenever there is any contradiction, she will pretend to be weak and spoiled, and whenever she is spoiled, all her demands for Sheng Hong will be satisfied.
In fact, this is the reality.
Men are vain and want face, and when women coddle with them, then they will feel a great satisfaction.
At this time, no matter what kind of dissatisfaction they have with you, no matter how angry they are with you, they will not be able to lose their temper in front of you.
Maugham says:
"Love needs to have a feeling of weakness, it needs to have a requirement of love and thoughtfulness, it needs to be helpful and to please others."
A woman who knows how to spoil is the best life.
In a relationship, when you learn to show weakness and know how to be spoiled, then you will find that you can not only achieve your own goals, but also touch the softest corners of men, so that men can't help but care for you and tolerate you.
Pay attention to rituals
What is romance?
I really like a line in "The Taste of the World is Pure Joy":
"Romance is a waste of time to eat slowly, a waste of time to drink tea slowly, a waste of time to walk slowly, a waste of time to slowly grow old."
In feelings, it is never only the pursuit of cost performance, not only the pursuit of return rates.
Preparing the ceremony carefully may be a real waste of time, a waste of energy, and without any tangible benefits.
But it can make relationships sweeter, warmer, and longer.
Know such a couple.
The two have been married for five years, but the feelings are still as sweet as when they were first married.
For five years, on every wedding anniversary, the wife would deliberately take a day off and then carefully prepare the decoration; whenever the husband's birthday, the wife would also prepare gifts and surprises...
I once asked her:
"Wouldn't you be bothered by doing so?"
And she just replied:
"Feelings, don't you want to be afraid of trouble?"
Yes, maybe in daily life, we will always care about returns, but feelings are not able to measure the value of interests.
For the sake of the people you love, what does it matter if you are in trouble?
Huang Lei said:
"Use rituals to witness love, use rituals to give a testimony to each other, to yourself, to others."
Rituals have always been the best preservative for feelings.
When you know how to value the ceremony, then your feelings can always maintain a romantic feeling, thus making the relationship more sweet and happy.
A good relationship is never all right after being together, but it needs to be careful and methodical to operate during the period.
For the rest of your life, may you be a woman who will toss and turn.
So as to manage the feelings well and embrace the warmest happiness.
END
Author: Away from the rain slightly cool, a rational, emotional, like to use words to express personal views, bring you spiritual healing, emotional solution, life perception of the post-90s writer.