A few days ago I saw a topic, people who have not sent a circle of friends for a long time, and I have not yet read the content, I know that there is something to say about me.
Looking back at the first year or two of the account registration, I was keen on posting circles, liked and liked people, and it seemed that this was the proof of a person's social ability.
But later, from the daily hair ring to once a few weeks, and then once a few months, until now, it has not been issued several times a year. I am more and more accustomed to quietness, and I do not like to be disturbed and disturbed.
Social phobia has become the best excuse for not being dynamic, but faceless, in fact, there is no strict social fear! We just don't have the desire to share.
01
It is said that there are generally two kinds of people who do not send or rarely send a circle of friends for a long time:
One is to live a very full and happy life, mature in thought, hidden deeply, and do not like to show their lives to outsiders; the other is quite unhappy, the state of mind is somewhat cold and low, but the mind is more mature, able to control themselves not to show their hearts in the circle of acquaintances.
I suddenly realized that I seemed to have both. I don't know if you have similar feelings to me, the older you get, the more you want to get through it alone when you face the ups and downs of emotions.
When we were young, we were all social human beings, and we had to share our joys and sorrows, and we had to find someone to talk to about even the smallest troubles, but as we grew older, no matter how much suffering we had, we all learned to bear it alone.
Perhaps, this is the norm for contemporary adults. Although we know more people and have larger social circles, our hearts have become smaller and the world we can fit into is getting smaller and smaller. When I was a child, I was not afraid of heaven, but when I grew up, I became more and more intimidated, afraid of every "hearsay" reality story in other people.
Listening more and more, talking less and less, even though there are thousands of friends lying in the contact list, but when it is extremely sad, no one wants to bother. Because I know that there is no real empathy in this world, and those emotions that are not understood can only be borne by myself.
It seems that when people reach a certain age, they gradually lose their desire to express themselves. Happy things are too lazy to share, sad things are reluctant to be spoken, and everything is quietly digested alone. People who want to be good will not say, and people who have passed the face, let alone say. Learn slowly, and turn your weakness into armor in silence.
Sometimes I think about it, I don't have the habit of chatting with people regularly now, even if it's my best friend, we can't contact each other a few times a year, occasionally we happen to be in a city, we don't need to make an appointment in advance, just make a phone call to meet, see you next time, of course, there hasn't been the next time. Such a Buddhist friendship is really no burden!
I have heard a saying before: true friendship does not need to be deliberately maintained, even if you do not contact for a long time, the feelings will still not be strange, even if you just send out a tone word, the other party knows what you want to say.
02
I don't think I need others to know how well I'm doing, unless there's something memorable and happy to share.
Brush a certain tone before to see a sentence: good envy of those who have not been dynamic for a long time, is it the people who want to talk around? Frequent record of the circle of friends, perhaps really insecure, no one to share it.
In fact, why be so sad? I don't know what the reason why others don't like to send dynamics, at least for me, because of the needs of work in the circle, too many insignificant people have been added, and they have already changed their taste, if you really want to send something, you also need to worry about who to show, who not to show, it is really very tired!
How many people are like this? After adding friends to each other, the first time to look at each other's circle of friends, want to understand what kind of person the other party is, but is it practical? What you can see is only the side that others are willing to let you see, and others are not willing to show, and you never know. How true a person looks is, it is not so easy to be spied on.
In my opinion, not sending a circle of friends, and not sending social dynamics, is increasingly becoming a choice or a way of life. There is no circle of friends and dynamics, just reduce the way to quickly establish an impression of a person, otherwise there is no use, the circle of friends reflects a person's personality, the way of doing things, the reaction will not have too much to show.
I have also been asked before, why not send a circle now, and occasionally acquaintances will come to chat a few words to test whether they are blocked. In fact, compared to blocking such a boring thing, I prefer not to speculate, and the three views are not directly deleted.
Everyone is an adult, some things don't need to be sneaky, although the euphemism is more sleek, but it is straightforward isn't it?
What kind of people need to be deleted? Although I have never been the one who takes the initiative to delete people, if I find that someone has blocked or deleted, I will certainly not hesitate to delete them.
I've met before, we have mutual friends, and I can't see what others can see, but this is not the most embarrassing. After all, if no one tells me, I don't know if it is! The most embarrassing thing is that the person who can see it also comes and asks "Hey, did you see the state of xxx?" ”
At a glance, there really isn't, and it is surprising to learn that you are blocked out of other people's circles, or should you laugh it off? As long as I'm not embarrassed, the embarrassment is someone else, of course, to delete it!
03
Sometimes I feel that the reason why our lives are getting more and more tired is because we have been wrapped up in things outside of life for too long. As for a social software, if it loses its original meaning, the contact information is also blocked. Invisibly, from caring about likes and being liked, from tangling with others, you can't see, we are all living more and more without ourselves.
Sometimes it is still necessary to get used to it, no matter how good friends in life can not be tired of being together for a lifetime, many darkest moments in life are walked by one person.
I once saw a female friend post a status: people who have not sent a circle of friends for a long time must be very happy. You have written hundreds of circles of friends, and you have repeatedly considered the sentences, only to be afraid that the words are not penetrating enough to enter his heart. But this person will often ignore your well-intentionedness, he will take your feelings with him, and selectively forget your careful thoughts.
Until one day, another unrelated person said to you, "I've read everything you've written, and you're so sad." ”
At that moment, you will feel that you have been in the dark room for a long time, and suddenly, the light comes in the room, as if grasping for hope, as if to illuminate your whole life.
Later, I learned that there was a time when she frequently circled and said a lot of inexplicable things because she experienced the most bleak side of married life. She married for five years for Love, and finally the marriage went to the end, she returned to her hometown that had left for many years, she thought that she would do nothing like that for the rest of her life, but she met the right person, who said that the second marriage did not have youth, she had!
So you see, the person who really cares about you is not reading your mood at a certain moment, nor is he concerned about your life at a certain stage, what he wants to read is your whole world, and your future.
Mr. Yang Dai once said: You may be worthless in front of a person. But in front of another person, it is a priceless treasure. Be yourself, the person who loves you, and naturally loves you. Remember your own value, this is the truth of human life.
People nowadays, life is very tired, time is very expensive, if it is not a world of people, there is really no need to waste time with each other, continue to perfunctory, mutual deletion is not a break, but a kind of respect.
END
Yu Sheng Weixia: The style is changeable, the preference is single, and I know that you will come, so I am waiting