Last Sunday, the sun was shining, I was walking in the neighborhood, suddenly heard a burst of men humming above my head, looked up, there was a father on the second floor balcony humming a small song while skillfully drying the school uniform of the freshly washed child, looking at the size and number of school uniforms, it should be a second treasure family.
This very ordinary scene of daily life reminds me of a family of four, in the sunny afternoon of the weekend, the father accompanies the two children to play with each other, and the mother takes pictures for them on the side to capture the wonderful moments...
However, the picture is very beautiful, and the reality is very bone- You may say that the cost of raising a baby is too high, if you don't work hard to earn money, how can you afford the cost of your children? This is also why so many people don't say three babies, and even the second baby doesn't dare to try.
But for children, healthy growth is inseparable from a complete family. The absence of either parent in the child's growth and education will cause serious harm to the child, and even lead to the child's character defects.
As the saying goes, parenthood is practice. On the road of child-rearing, in addition to the mother's meticulous care and dedication, the father's companionship and guidance are also indispensable. You may often hear your mother complain: "Give me XX million and I won't be born", the reason is that in addition to economic factors, lack of energy is the most critical factor.
I don't know if the following picture can make you feel familiar:
Picture one: it is difficult to squeeze out time to do something of their own, the child cries and shouts at the mother as soon as he sees the mother is gone, while the child is asleep, just can sit down to eat a meal, a few minutes, the child wakes up again, had to hold the child, while wolfing, quickly solved;
Picture two: On weekend morning, the mother gets up early to prepare breakfast, waits for the baby to eat well and then rushes to the nearby music class to learn musical instruments, and then rushes home to clean the room, and then rushes out to pick up the baby after eating lunch nearby, sends the child to learn to dance, the mother uses these two hours to rush home to prepare dinner, and when it is almost time, she goes out to pick up the baby
Picture 3: At the school parent-teacher conference, there are always a few fathers wandering in the school corridor, while calling and asking "How many classes?" "Which classroom?" "How many student numbers are coming?" Which row to sit in? "It's already fourth grade, so I went to the wrong classroom!" ”
Maybe you are experiencing in front of the screen, have experienced or heard friends complain about these, and now short video platforms we will often brush to all kinds of mothers alone with a baby a busy day video. The term "widowed parenting" was once taken seriously, but now this phenomenon has not disappeared, and it still happens around you and me.
Mom and Dad are like equal weights on both sides of the scale, and the lack of father's role is like an unbalanced balance for a family, falling to one side. It may affect the child's life.
Let's first take a look at the implications:
Make your child feel insecure.
A complete family is supported by mom and dad. I've seen the phrase, FAMILY=Father And Mother I love you, which is the perfect interpretation of home.
The child's personality may be weak,
Boys, in particular, are prone to shrink back when they grow up. Boys need to be accompanied by a masculine father as an example, which plays a crucial role in his enlightenment, worldview, and outlook on life.
The child's gender consciousness is blurred,
There is always a parent of one gender in the family, and young children will not be able to distinguish between men and women. In daily life, girls in the relationship with their father, will distinguish the difference between themselves and their father, many girls' mate selection criteria will come from the father, and when they grow up, they will subconsciously tend to choose boys similar to their fathers as partners.
I have seen a picture of Superman's mother circulating on the Internet before, the picture of the mother carrying a baby, six arms respectively holding a work bag, vegetable basket, pot, book, broom, lipstick, a picture of today's almighty mother vividly interpreted.
Bringing dads back into the family and balance the imbalanced balance is the best solution. Taking on the responsibility of a father is not just to provide financial support, but also to be spiritually caring and daily companionship.
So how do you get dads back?
The division of labor is clear and mutually considerate
Arranging the weekly plan into a table, refining everyone's division of labor, from pick-up and drop-off, life and living tutoring homework, etc., is conducive to forming inherent patterns and habits, so that fathers can also participate in the process of children's growth. Don't set too high requirements for dads, destroy their enthusiasm, such as diapers are not wet, homework is not carefully watched, etc., do not complain more.
Have high quality companionship
When accompanying the child, please put the mobile phone aside, participate in some interactive games with the child, walk together every day, exercise, in the process can understand what happened to the child in the day, do not accompany the child, but reluctant to put down the mobile phone in your hand, absent-minded. This kind of ineffective companionship not only does not have the effect of parent-child communication, but also allows children to learn the habit of doing things half-heartedly.
Be a 60-point mom
Some mothers are really diligent, outside the home, the elderly and children should be all inclusive. In this case, the fathers naturally retreated to the second and third lines, and people are inert. Be a "60-point qualified" mom, leave some space for dads to play, don't always worry that dads won't bring children, everyone is starting from scratch. Let go of your hand and give dads a space to show.
The well-known classic cartoon "Big Head Son and Little Head Daddy", this cartoon grew up with the 80s and 90 years, and the post-0 generation grew up together and endured for a long time. The cute big-headed son and the wise and patient little-headed father, the gentle and careful apron mother, these have become the model of a happy and happy family.
There is a post-90s couple in the neighbor's house, who always quarrel in front of their children. One day, 6-year-old daughter Lily suddenly did not want to go to kindergarten, at first everyone thought that it was a child who had lost her temper, but did not care. But a week later, the little girl still did not want to go to kindergarten or go out. Later, the two couples took her to see a psychologist, and it turned out that the child felt that as long as she left the house, her parents would quarrel, she did not want to see all this, and did not know what to do, and could only resist silently in this form.
The family environment plays a vital role in a child's mental health and personality development. The healthy growth of children is inseparable from the efforts of every member of the family, parents work together, let us create a good growth environment for children together, and then wait for the flowers to bloom together.
The pictures are from the internet, if there is infringement, please contact to delete!