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When people interact with each other in society, they meet people of various personalities. Some people have a cheerful and lively personality, some people have a violent personality, and some people have a mature and stable personality, and there are almost no emotional fluctuations.
People think that those who often lose their temper have flawed personalities, and those who can control their emotions are worth learning. Psychologists point out that in fact, those who do not lose their temper are not worthy of deep friendship.
Emotion
In psychology, emotions are interpreted as changes in thinking produced by the brain after human individuals are stimulated externally. What we call the temper in our daily lives refers to the display of people's emotional reactions in different scenes.
Temper is more distinct among human individuals, and each person can have unique personality traits. Some people who like to lose their temper, their emotional response is more intense, the nerves are more sensitive, and it is easy to be stimulated by a little thing to stimulate emotional responses.
It can be said that their thinking activities are more emotional, once the emotional reaction is too intense, it is easy to lose their minds, and they are in negative emotions that are difficult to control. Such a personality is not conducive to their own physical health, and will bring discomfort to those around them.
Although emotionalization is not good for good health, it cannot be considered a wrong behavior. Because human beings are all emotional, not a cold machine.
The moods and sorrows we usually show are all manifestations of mood swings, and people can close the distance between each other through emotional changes.
Once the relationship becomes intimate, it will be more familiar, more natural and casual in communication, and willing to pour out their troubles and secrets to each other in conversation.
Why is it that the more people who do not lose their temper, the less they can make deep friends? There are two reasons for this.
Hide your true thoughts
That is, it is the mechanism of people's inner self-defense, which is also called personality mask (Personality mask) in psychology. It refers to the fact that people often disguise their inner thoughts in social interactions, and only show their hearts to those who are close to them.
Because in order to protect themselves, the human body will not expose their shortcomings and weaknesses, and will not even show their emotions to prevent being hurt by the other party.
Some refer to this behavior as "hypocrisy," which is also what most people do in socializing. Because people have their own distinct personality characteristics, but if you want to integrate into a large group, it is inevitable that there will be some contradictions or differences.
At this time, you need to disguise your inner emotions and show a personality that can be accepted by most people in order to enter the group as soon as possible.
The use of personality masks should also be divided into situations, if you are facing your trusted relatives and friends, you can completely open your heart, release your emotions and emotions, and do not have to worry about being hurt.
But there is a kind of person who does not show his true personality at any time, and even wears a personality mask to everyone, so as to disguise himself as a person for the greatest benefit.
The famous psychologist Eriksen once did a personality questionnaire, and he found that there is a kind of person who can show a high degree of disguise in the questionnaire.
By studying such people, they all have a characteristic, that is, they can remain moody and angry at any time and on any occasion, and they can control their emotions very well.
Even in the face of their own inner disgust and rejection of the people, you can still establish a good conversation.
People with such personality traits tend to be extremely risky. Because you can't see his true inner thoughts clearly, even when two people are in contact, they can't be sure of each other's intentions, and they can't guarantee the authenticity of their friendship.
In such a person's psychology, there may be no so-called friendship at all. If he has a relationship with you, he must want to get some kind of benefit from you. Once they lose their use value, they will not hesitate to turn around and leave.
The Repressed "Original Self"
The concept of the self proposed by the famous foreign psychologist Freud refers to the deep desires of human beings. Influence the subconscious mind through inner desires, and engage in extremely egoistic behavior.
Those who never lose their temper, they do not seem to have any emotional changes on the surface, but in fact they are desperately suppressing the "original self" in their personality.
The danger of such a person lies in the emotions that are constantly squeezed in the heart, and once the heart cannot bear it, it will erupt, bringing dangerous consequences. Just like in some criminal cases, some criminals are usually honest people, and once they break out, they will make crazy moves and even hurt the lives of others.
It is not that they do not lose their temper, but they have been suppressing their original selves, knowing that the outbreak after being unable to suppress it is unimaginable to normal people.
People need to vent their emotions, and constantly suppressing their inner emotions will trap themselves in a state of psychological sub-health. Sometimes venting negative emotions in a reasonable way is more conducive to mental health.
If you have such a person around you, you never lose your temper, or even see him have mood swings, then you should quickly stay away from him.
Because such a person is actually the most dangerous, you don't know when he suddenly broke out, which may cause harm to himself.
- The End -
Author | Tommy
Edit | Rain
The First Psychological Writing Group | A group of young people who like to look up at the stars
参考资料：Vogel, D. L., & Wester, S. R. (2003). To seek help or not to seek help: The risks of self-disclosure. Journal of Counseling Psychology, 50(3), 351.