How can a girl who has been "hit hard" by her original family have love?

When Chen Meimei was just born, she was thrown to her grandmother, who was a reticent old man who rarely communicated with Chen Meimei. In Chen Meimei's memory, she sat alone in the courtyard in front of her house every day in a daze, until she was six years old, she did not return to her parents.

Because she never felt the love of her father and mother when she was young, and her grandmother did not give her love, Chen Meimei was equivalent to spending a lonely childhood. Therefore, Chen Meimei's personality has been withdrawn, sensitive, self-compassionate, cowardly, not good at expression, and will not deal with people since childhood.

When she was in school, Chen Meimei was extremely unsociable and always liked to be alone.

Chen Meimei, like other girls, also yearns for love, and there are three "loves" in her life that have not really begun and died prematurely.

In high school, Chen Meimei's academic performance was not very good, and in that key high school, the test scores were often ranked at the bottom. In order to improve her grades, Chen Meimei often asked questions from teachers, among which the subject taught by the class teacher, her grades were the worst, so she asked the class teacher the most questions, and over time, Chen Meimei found that she liked the class teacher. When Chen Meimei was admitted to college, she told the class teacher that she liked him, and the reason why she did this was just to give an account of the throbbing of her youth, and did not want to have a further connection with the class teacher. However, the class teacher actually asked her to do what she did not want to do, at this time, Chen Meimei deleted the contact information of the class teacher, because in Chen Meimei's view, the class teacher was an extremely irresponsible man.

In college, Chen Meimei fell in love with her grade counselor. Because of shyness, Chen Meimei did not dare to let the counselor know that she liked him. The counselor goes to the cafeteria to eat, goes to the classroom to check, goes back to the office... Chen Meimei would follow behind because she wanted to see him. Later, Chen Meimei often sent messages to counselors about irrelevant things, and she did so to get the counselor's love and attention. In the beginning, the counselor replied to the message in a timely and patient manner, but gradually, the counselor stopped paying attention to her. After seeing the counselor's attitude change, Chen Meimei told the counselor that she actually liked him. At this time, the counselor immediately chose to keep a distance from her, and Chen Meimei began to harass and pester the counselor non-stop, sending messages and phone calls to the counselor in the middle of the night, Chen Meimei's approach made the counselor more disgusted with her, in addition to performing the duties of the counselor, no longer have any intersection with Chen Meimei, and would not return Chen Meimei's information, nor answer her phone.

After coming out to work, Chen Meimei fell in love with the manager of the company. As in the previous practice, Chen Meimei will find excuses to get close to each other, because of the relationship between work, the manager has a good attitude towards her, while Chen Meimei thinks that the manager likes her. In order to seize the love, Chen Meimei let the manager know that she liked him, but the manager rejected her. At this time, Chen Meimei is not dead-hearted, she began to harass and pester the manager non-stop, will continue to send messages to the manager after work, the manager does not return the message, she will call the manager, the manager does not answer the phone, she desperately continues to call the manager's phone. Later, the manager made a girlfriend, and let the girlfriend intimidate Chen Meimei, and let the girlfriend block Chen Meimei.

It can be seen from this that the "love" in Chen Meimei's eyes has always been her wishful thinking, the other party does not like her at all, and she only lives in her own world, does not know how to get along with the opposite sex, from the beginning to be abandoned, she is constantly asking for it from the other party.

Because of the lack of love and insecurity since childhood, Chen Meimei's subconscious will continue to ask for love from the people she likes, and Chen Meimei found that the three people she liked all have the shadow of her father, and what happened to her was the accident of "Oedipus complex".

Chen Meimei's personality causes and encounters can be attributed to "original family trauma", if she does not get enough love from her parents or other relatives since she was a child, she will become like this when she grows up. This is a very serious "disease", but it is not incurable, so how to solve such a problem?

1. You can consult a professional psychologist in the direction of the original family, and under the guidance of the doctor, carry out scientific treatment.

2. Read more books on the original family, combine the professional analysis in the book to review the growth experience, and find the real reason for understanding yourself to form this personality. For example, because you have not received the love of your relatives, your sense of self-worth will be very low, and you will think that you are not worthy of being loved. In the cognition of the original family, accept the past self, live in the present, and embrace the present.

3. Reconcile with mom and dad, because parents love their children, and mom and dad give their children the best growing environment within their own capabilities.

4. Spend more time with cheerful people, extroverted and enthusiastic friends can let you experience the charm of friendship and make you feel that you are not alone.

5. Before you love someone else, learn to love yourself. Dare to embrace love, the power of love, will make you eager to grow into a better self, brave forward.

6. Read more healthy and beneficial books, and enrich your heart and knowledge through reading, so that you can make yourself more and more confident, more and more courageous, and more and more loving life.