Issue 102 (Issue 574) 2021
【Press】This article was first published in the junior high school edition of "Composition Newsletter" in issue 12, 2021.
Many students often receive such comments after writing the essay and handing it to the teacher, which is dry and not vivid enough. This is probably a problem that they themselves have long been aware of, and this problem has also brought them great trouble, how to write the composition, so that it can not be dry, can it be vivid?
In short, if you want to be not dry, if you want to be vivid, you have the ability to master the abstraction into concreteness. To master this ability, the premise is to figure out what is abstract and what is concrete.
Taking the common spring, summer, autumn and winter in the article as an example, if we say that spring is full of vitality, summer is hot and unbearable, autumn is desolate, and winter is cold, these can be said to be abstract generalizations. So how to write the four seasons more concretely, more concretely and more concretely? You can read such as Zhu Ziqing's "Spring", Lao She's "Four Generations Together" to write Xiangzi under the scorching sun, Yu Dafu's "Autumn in the Old Capital", Xiao Hong's "Legend of Hulan River" to describe winter, and so on. In this way, some famous articles will give you more or less inspiration.
However, the length of these famous masterpieces is not suitable for analysis and simplification here, let's focus on a few ancient poems that everyone is more familiar with, and see how these ancient poems visualize abstract emotions such as "joy" and "worry".
Towards the White Emperor City
Li bai
Between the clouds of the White Emperor,
A thousand miles of Gangneung one day back.
The apes on both sides of the strait can't stop crying,
The light boat has passed through the Ten Thousand Heavy Mountains.
Li Bai was sentenced to exile to Yelang because he was implicated in the rebellion of the Yong King Li Xuan, passing through the White Emperor's City, catching up with the new emperor's ascension to the throne, and the world was amnesty, so he was released on the spot. Li Bai was ecstatic, in his opinion, the White Emperor City at this time was simply a fairy city between the clouds. Although the White Emperor and Jiangling are thousands of miles apart, they can "pay back in one day", not only because of the speed of the boat, but also because of the psychological pleasure, and even the time and space are shortened. Originally, "the ape chirped three times and wept", but the sound of the ape that could not be stopped, in Li Bai's ears, it was simply a beautiful piece of music, accompanied by him riding a light boat through the heavy peaks. The poem does not explicitly mention even one word of "joy", but it makes the reader feel the joy coming from the face.
Walk alone on the river to find flowers
Du fu
Huang Siniang's family is full of flowers,
Thousands of flowers are pressed low on the branches.
Stay in the butterfly dance from time to time,
The free warbler just cries.
Living in the caotang on the banks of Huanhua Creek in Chengdu was a rare happy time in Du Fu's life. Du Fu first used "flowers full of flowers" and "thousands of flowers with low branches" to create a beautiful environment, and then wrote the butterflies that "dance all the time" and the yellow warblers who wrote "just crying", but he did not say butterflies, but said "play butterflies", did not say "yellow warblers", but said "delicate warblers", two seemingly casual modifiers revealed a kind of love. What is more crucial is the use of "lingering" and "free", not only "play butterfly lingering" and "petite warbler free", in fact, "lingering" and "free" are the author himself. You see, Du Fu also did not write about joy directly, but joy also overflowed the paper.
After Denko
Mengjiao
The filth of the past is not enough to boast,
There is no end to this debauchery.
Spring breeze triumphant horseshoe disease,
See all the Chang'an flowers in one day.
"When the title of the gold list" is a great joy in life, after Mengjiao Dengke, of course, he is very proud and happy. So how does he express this emotion? First of all, it is said that "the dirty past is not exaggerated enough, this morning the debauchery thinks endlessly", using "the past" and "the present dynasty" to make a comparison, "debauchery and endless thinking" is still a little too abstract, but the next two sentences, "The spring wind is proud of the horseshoe disease, and the day to see all the Chang'an flowers" is very specific and very vivid.
After reading the poems that write "joy", next, we will read a few more poems that write "sadness".
Akiura Song
Three thousand feet of white hair,
The fate seems to be long.
I don't know in the mirror,
Where to get autumn frost.
"Sorrow" itself is an abstract emotion, "sorrow is so white that hair is white", of course, it is a relatively figurative expression, but when this figurative expression is widely used, its figurative effect is greatly reduced, basically equivalent to saying "sad death". It doesn't make people feel empathetic. How does Li Bai write sorrow? He not only wrote about white hair, but also about "three thousand feet of white hair", an exaggeration, writing about the length of sorrow and the amount of sorrow; not only writing about the white hair in the mirror, but writing "where to get autumn frost", a metaphor, which makes people feel desolate.
Spring hope
The country is broken by mountains and rivers, and the city is deep in spring grass and trees.
When I feel the flowers splash tears, I hate the birds and be frightened.
The flames lasted for three months, and the family letter arrived at ten thousand gold.
The white head scratches are shorter and more overwhelming.
Du Fu, who was already worried about the country and the people, was even more deeply worried during the Anshi Rebellion. "When you feel the flowers splashing tears, hating other birds to be frightened", not only people "splashing tears", people "frightening", the flowers are also "splashing tears", birds are also "shocking", this is really too vivid expression, it can be said that the Tang Dynasty "the tree is like this, how can people be embarrassed". Ordinary people say that they are sad, they will say "I am worried about my hair straight", which is just a description of a common fact, and Du Fu's "white head scratching is shorter, and the desire is invincible" makes this fact more vivid and more concrete.
Wuling Spring
Li Qingzhao
The wind has run out of dust and flowers, and the tired hair is combed in the evening. Things are people and things are not things, and tears flow first.
It is said that sungai spring is still good, and it is also intended to pan a light boat. I am only afraid of the Twin Streams Ship Boat, and I can't carry many worries.
After the southern crossing, Li Qingzhao was even killed. "The wind has lived in the dust and flowers have been exhausted" just one sentence, it outlines a poignant environment, and then uses "day and night", uses "tired combing hair", concrete actions instead of abstract expression, and writes out the extreme depression of emotions. "Things are people and not things" is the origin of melancholy, and "wanting to talk and tears flow first" is the specific manifestation of melancholy. In the early years, there was a good time of "scrambling for the ferry, shocking a beach of gulls and herons", and now "I heard that the spring of Sungai is still good, and I also intend to pan a light boat", but "I am only afraid of the Stern Boat of Sungai, I can't carry many sorrows", and the sorrows turn from invisible to tangible, as if there is weight, and the weight is too heavy to be carried by the small boat.
As can be seen from the above poems, abstraction can be turned into concrete, you can use environmental description, you can also use the contrast between the past and the present, you can also use various rhetorical techniques, etc., not limited to one means, these methods, have you learned? Do you have this ability?
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