Dad was one of the closest people in our lives. In the average person's mind, dads will definitely show their faces frequently in their children's essays. Before I became a Chinese teacher, I thought so too. After changing my essays for so many years, I found with puzzlement that the active writing of dads was quite niche, and many of them were portrayed as instrumental people without any emotion.
Finally I couldn't help it, and pulled the smiling little Student Zhang and asked: Why don't you write about your father in your essay?
12-year-old Xiao Zhang has a cheerful personality, usually rarely see him with a cold face, but he did not expect that at this moment he suddenly stopped smiling and reluctantly opened his mouth: Dad is very busy, almost does not come home, I have no feelings for him.
I was surprised: Dad worked hard outside to earn money, and it was not easy to support his family and provide for you to study.
Xiao Zhang interrupted me as if in a hurry to defend himself: I know what you said. But he hadn't come back when I went to bed at night, he wasn't home when I went to school in the morning, and I didn't even have a chance to talk to him.
This has to be said to be Dad's sadness.
Today, let's summarize the essay on fatherly love and give you a reference. I hope that in the future, everyone will write more essays about their fathers and give them a little comfort.
Maybe dads generally don't like to talk much, have a low sense of presence, and how many children with thick lines ignore the deep fatherly love. Since Mr. Zhu Ziqing's "Back Shadow" was put on the Chinese textbook, children have a template for expressing their father's love.
Father's love for his children is often not expressed, but actually made. If you want to portray a good father, you especially need to pay attention to details.
Below, I send some excellent essay fragments of students to show you:
When I was a year old, you held me and told me stories. I repay you and smile happily in my sleep.
When I was four years old, I was afraid to take medicine. That time, because I didn't take the medicine, you hit me, and the handprint was printed on my ass, and I cried so sadly. You were heartbroken and bought a Transformer for me. I repaid you and smiled happily, but I didn't talk to you for a long time.
Who was ecstatic when you were born kissing you with a mouth full of scum, who held you all day long to show off how beautiful and cute their babies were to other people's homes.
I suddenly noticed that his sideburns had crept up a few strands of silver-white hair at some point, and were now fluttering messily in the wind.
Father's dry hands were full of calluses, and the nail slits were full of sludge marks, and they couldn't scrub them clean.
I love chicken, and he makes me diced chicken and dried chicken once a week, even if he doesn't like it himself. I love shrimp and my dad is allergic to seafood, but he still makes braised prawns for me.
Dad has been riding a motorcycle for more than twenty years, and every time he goes back to his hometown for the New Year, he wraps me in several layers of quilts and clips them in the middle, rides a motorcycle, braves the cold wind, and braves the rain and snow to return to his hometown and go to relatives.
……
Most fathers play tough guys in front of their children, but he is not born reticent, his silence is not indifferent, the emotions behind him are deeper, and the love is stable. Then, when we write, we must write his inner sense of responsibility for the family and his love for us through dad's apparent silence.
There was a female classmate surnamed Li, who noticed that although her father was not good at words, he was particularly attentive to her. She attended junior high school in the county middle school, and because she was far from home, she had to stay and could only go home once a week. Whenever the bus she was riding on arrived at the station, she could always see her father at a glance, whether it was cold or hot, there was no exception. It was a particularly cold winter, and she saw from the car window that her father was curled up on his back, constantly breathing into his hands, and the gray hair whistling north wind was mercilessly teasing. As soon as she got out of the car, her father's eyes had already found out, and he didn't say anything, and immediately handed over a large scarf. The man's gray scarf was old and dirty, but at that moment, she only felt very warm.
In such details, the father hardly has any lines, but with a few details looking through the window, the image of a silent and deeply loving father jumps out of the paper and is about to come out.
Because fathers are generally silent, many students only stay on the surface when writing about dads, mechanically portraying dad's actions or short language, and fail to deduce the profound meaning behind them. Looking at this kind of family affection text similar to salivating, it is difficult for teachers to form a resonance.
For example, a junior high school student said that he also had a father who was not good at words. His dad was busy, occasionally lying on the couch with his eyes closed, not watching movies, not smoking, and not having other hobbies of entertainment. But when Xiaoding said that he was under pressure to study, his father would suggest that he go to the movie. Every time I watched a movie, Dad only bought two tickets, one for him and one for Mom. When they came out of the movie theater laughing and talking, Dad always happened to greet them. ......
The article is written here, and Xiaoding students have a hasty ending. The grading teacher may have felt that he was writing a little blandly, without undulating plots, without conflict, and without digging deep into the meaning of a particular detail, so he gave a lower score of 46 (a total score of 60).
In fact, as long as Xiaoding writes two more strokes, his father's image will be brilliant and tall.
His dad was frugal, wouldn't be entertained, and would only work one by one. Such a straight man of steel thinks that watching movies is a better way to relax, so he makes up his own mind to buy movie tickets for his children every time, but he does not watch them in order to save money. At first, Xiao Ding also thought that his father did not like to watch movies, until once his father asked two questions related to movies in succession, he realized that his father also wanted to watch. At this time, Xiaoding students can appropriately increase some psychological descriptions, depict their inner feelings in detail, evoke the sense of substitution of the grading teacher, and let them form emotional resonance. After pointing out this layer, others can experience his father's different fatherly love without suspense.
In addition, on the basis of solid detailed description, it is best to write a few sentences that sublimate the main idea and create emotional flashpoints, so that such delicate and subtle masterpieces will not be misjudged as three types of texts.
After clicking, Xiaoding added a few questions at the end, so that the whole essay got the score it deserved without any doubt:
On the ocean of Father's love stands a stone tablet with one word written on it: Deep. In the cinema of memories, those films are repeatedly remade, they have always had different plots, but only one eternal character - the father.
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