In a person's life, it is inevitable that there will be some bad past, such as the unbearable and painful experience of the original family.
If you want to understand the world's recognized knowledge of psychology, if you or your relatives around you have the above experience, it is recommended to read the book "Maybe You Should Find Someone to Talk to" written by [American] Lori Gottlieb, open your heart, bravely go to a psychologist to talk, and you will definitely walk through life easily.
This book presents the process of psychotherapy from the dual perspective of the therapist and the client, no matter how different the identity background, the troubles faced by human beings are actually the same - love and being loved, regret, choice, control, uncertainty, death, these are all issues that we as human beings must learn to face together.
The book is still quite thick, but it will make people can't help but read it in one breath. I am not a psychotherapy related worker, the reason why I can read and can't wait to write this article to introduce to you, because the book through the story of five people, the psychological knowledge into the story, so that the process of psychotherapy on the top of the whole present to the reader, so that we can resonate more.
This is the biggest difference from other psychology books, especially suitable for ordinary people to read, the industry calls it a psychology popular science book, and I read it as a novel, because the storyline, attracting me to read, and because of the unconscious psychological knowledge, led me to read a second time, when writing this article, I seem to read it a third time.
After reading the book, I lifted the mystery of "psychotherapy", and my first feeling was that I wanted to make an appointment! The second impulse is to search for relatives around him, so I want to tell him, find a psychologist to talk
The five stories of the book are:
A Hollywood producer in his forties, successful career, self-righteous, and who thinks everyone around him is a fool;
A female university teacher in her thirties who has just been newly married and has been diagnosed with a terminal illness and has a short time;
An old woman who is sixty-nine years old, divorced three times, feels lonely and desperate, and claims that if life is not good, she will commit suicide on the day of her seventieth birthday;
A girl in her twenties with native family trauma and alcoholism, frequent setbacks in love.
At the same time, there is a fifth person in the book who seeks help, and that is the therapist himself. She is a single working mom who, in her forties, suffered a lovelorn and nearly broke down. A friend said to her, "Maybe you should talk to someone," so she also found a psychotherapist for herself. When she switches to the client's position and sits on the couch of another psychotherapist to appeal to her inner vulnerability and sadness, she can feel the power of psychotherapy to heal and change.
Owen Yalong, a world-renowned psychology titan and tenured honorary professor of psychiatry at Stanford University in the United States, wrote a recommendation for this book: "I have been reading psychotherapy books for more than half a century, but I have never seen such a book: so bold, so straightforward, so many good stories, and so profound and fascinating. ”
I've picked up some of the books that I'm particularly touched to share with you
I. About psychotherapy
"Many people think that psychotherapy is to find something from the past and explain them clearly, but in fact, the focus of the therapist's work is on the "present", to make people aware of what they are thinking and feeling every day. Are they easily injured? Do you feel like you're constantly being blamed? Are they obsessed with seemingly not-so-serious anxiety? “
The pain of the skin and the dilemma of life that we encounter in real life may not be the same as what the author describes, but we can feel that these pains are similar, and the four clients and the author himself, accompanied by the psychotherapist, constantly encourage them to practice in real life, and finally let go of their hearts and get out of the predicament.
Second, deciphering the way psychotherapists work
"The therapist is not a guest. We can't convince an anorexia person to eat. We can't convince an alcoholic not to drink. Nor can we persuade people who engage in self-destructive behavior to stop hurting themselves. What we can do is help them understand themselves better, show them how to ask the right questions about themselves, and then one day something will change inside or outside of them so that they can convince themselves."
My understanding is that psychotherapy is a process that allows people to self-awaken, self-awareness, and self-drive, through the psychologist's patient companionship, listening, supplemented by professional playing skills, to help the client's lifestyle and attitude towards life to be improved. You can't find someone who can cry with you, laugh with you, grieve with you, be happy with you, and a psychiatrist can.
In the face of pain, it is not the counselor who saves you, but the counselor who helps you save yourself.
Third, about living in the moment
"Julie learned how to accept herself and cherish everything she has in life. In essence, that's what I helped her with during the treatment, and it's the homework that each of us has to do."
There are many unknowns in our lives, we don't know what the future will bring, we need to deal with our worries and focus our lives on the present.
Fourth, about childhood emotional repair
"When an adult's relationship breaks down, you don't feel like it's a big disaster. But if the emotional rift you encountered in childhood is not repaired by love, then you will need some tempering in the future to face the emotional rift tolerantly."
Recently, there is a popular saying: "Lucky childhood heals a lifetime, unlucky childhood heals with a lifetime", which means that childhood trauma can heal and repair itself, but if a psychologist intervenes, the healing time can be greatly shortened.
Of course, it is better to be able to prevent problems before they occur, and now the younger generation has knowledge, culture, and strong learning ability, it is recommended to learn more psychological knowledge in parenting, so that their children can grow up in a family with mental health, healthy thinking, and healthy concepts.
Fifth, about the elderly love
"Facing Rita, I realized that even at the age of seventy, your heart will still be as fragile, vulnerable, full of desire and passion as it was when you were seventeen — all of which are still having a huge impact on you. People who fall in love don't get old. No matter how tired you are physically and mentally, no matter how much you have suffered for love, when new love comes, you will still feel full of hope and vitality, just like your first love. “
"Maybe this time you'll be more calm, because you're more experienced and wiser, and you know you have less time left, but when you hear your lover's voice or see his caller ID on your phone, your heart will still skip a beat." The advantage of twilight love is that people tend to be more tolerant, more generous, more sensitive, and more urgent in their later years. ”
This is the most beautiful expression of love for older people that I have read.
Sixth, write at the end.
Recently, after watching "Female Psychotherapist", the knowledge point mentioned in the TV series, because I read the book, it seems that I am already a small expert. For example, in psychotherapy, the person receiving the treatment is not called the patient, but the "visitor", so that it is more conducive to healing. For example, when arranging the treatment room, the position of the sofa, the seat of the visitor, etc., are all exquisite... I know all these contents, although it is a shallow psychological knowledge point, but I still secretly sneak a little joy in my heart.
To sum up, when we encounter difficulties, these three sentences should ring in our ears, first of all, the barber in the book said: "Let it go"; second, Wendell said: "The more you are willing to recognize your vulnerability, the less afraid you will be", and finally to tell yourself: "The only way out is to go forward, through it".
#Psychotherapy##Reading has a feeling##Psychological counseling##What it's like to do a psychotherapy##心理咨询与心理治疗 #