On the morning of December 15, Taiwan media exposed explosive news, saying that Wang Lihong had recently completed divorce procedures, ending his 8-year marriage with Li Lianglei, the two were married for 8 years, had two daughters, a son, the oldest 7 years old, the youngest 3 years old, the family is happy and happy, people envy.
It is said that the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law gradually fell out of harmony, and the contradiction accumulated for many years, which became the last straw that crushed their marriage and gave the two a fatal blow.
So whether Wang Lihong's divorce is real or not, let's talk about a topic that makes many people talk about it – the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law!
Why is it that the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law in China is difficult to get along with?
The mother-in-law relationship is a relatively special and difficult interpersonal relationship. Because, first, the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law coexist in a community of economic interests, and the economy and interests must produce contradictions, and second, both sides want to let things be controlled by themselves, and contradictions will inevitably arise.
When she first became a family, the mother-in-law felt that the daughter-in-law should take the initiative to please herself, and the daughter-in-law felt that she was married into the man's family and should be loved by the mother-in-law. Neither side took the initiative, creating a stalemate.
Every family will more or less have mother-in-law contradictions, and these contradictions will also subtly affect the feelings between husband and wife, and some marriages are even scattered by mother-in-law contradictions.
In the mother-in-law relationship, the most important thing is the "man" that both people care about. He is a son and he is also a husband. On the one hand, it is the parents who have worked hard to pull themselves up, and on the other hand, their beloved wives, how to deal with the relationship between the two has become a compulsory course for married men.
Remember the "Shi Chunmei Incident" in Zhangzhou? Just because she couldn't get along with her in-laws for a long time, Shi Chunmei took her two children to the extreme. This is a family tragedy caused by the long-term discord between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law. As her greatest support, her husband has been silent and evasive, and has become an accomplice who pushes her to the end of the road.
Behind every fierce mother-in-law conflict, there is a man who does not act. Behind many so-called unfilial wives, there is an inactive husband and a mother-in-law who is unwilling to let go of her son.
So how to deal with the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law? How should mother-in-law and daughter-in-law get along?
As a daughter-in-law, we need to know the following:
(1) Praise your husband more in front of your mother-in-law, and don't instruct your husband.
Jackie Chan is the nature of the mother, do not reprimand your husband in front of your mother-in-law, what is the matter two people say privately, in front of your mother-in-law, you should try to praise your husband!
(2) Don't think of your mother-in-law as a mother!
There is a kind of blood and bone affection between the mother and the daughter, and the mother will always be good to her daughter, even if it is to the grandson, the daughter will always be the first. And the mother-in-law is only because you married her son, into another mother's identity, this identity has no blood and bones, she always puts first is her son, or grandson.
Mother-in-law and daughter-in-law can get along with each other sincerely, caring and caring, but they must maintain a certain distance.
(3) In front of the mother-in-law, and the husband is too intimate.
After all, the old man is an old man, conservative in thought, and sometimes the intimacy that young people do not care about may be very impolite in the eyes of the old man!
(4) When there is a problem, avoid quarrels and actively seek help from your husband. Guide the man to participate in the resolution of the mother-in-law contradiction, you know how to do it, teach him, after all, he is the son of the mother-in-law, it is easier to approach and persuade the mother-in-law.
(5) "Obey" the values of the mother-in-law
The old people's life is more frugal, enough to eat enough, there is no need to waste money to buy impractical things. It's hard to change one's values, but it's easy to create an image of a thrifty family for yourself.
For example, if we buy a 500 yuan thing, we can tell our mother-in-law to make a special price of 150 yuan at the supermarket. In this way, the mother-in-law will feel that you are a family-oriented person who is very good at living.
(6) If you can't live together, you must not live together.
The days of the two-person world or the three-person world, without the mixing of parents, the days will be more pure and beautiful. Living apart is also easier to cultivate a sense of responsibility for your husband. It also avoids the embarrassing situation that men are "not human inside and out". When the mother-in-law lives under one roof, whether it is the habits of life or the way to deal with problems, there are subtle differences, the mother-in-law will see the daughter-in-law doing this is not pleasing to the eye, that is not right, and the daughter-in-law will feel that the mother-in-law manages too much, as the son in the middle that is also a sandwich cookie, how to do it is not right.
(7) Usually pay more attention to the mother-in-law, and be sure to buy gifts for the mother-in-law on holidays!
Smart women know how to use materials to "buy" people's hearts. On an important holiday, or your mother-in-law's birthday, you can give her some small gifts. The elderly are actually very easy to satisfy, as long as you have a heart, a small gift she can also show off to her sisters for a long time.
(8) Do not interfere in the marriage of the in-laws' sister-in-law or uncle.
As the saying goes, it is difficult for a clean official to break the housework, whether they are married or divorced, do not mix. The result is good or bad, if you intervene, you are all pigs looking in the mirror, inside and outside are not people, thankless.
(9) Do not interfere in the economic power of the in-laws.
Smart women should have a sense of proportion and boundaries about life, which is the minimum self-awareness.
You can take charge of the economic power of your and your husband's small family, but don't dream of taking control of the in-laws' economics in your own hands.
(10) Regardless of the situation of family life after marriage, it is necessary to maintain their own financial independence.
Women have to have the ability to make money at all times. Only when women are economically independent can they not look at other people's faces; women who are economically independent will be more confident and calm.
"I raised you, married me, I raised you", many women especially want men to say this. I want to say, you can support me, then I also have to work hard to earn money to do what I want to do.
I like Yi Shu's women, even if they are married, they will not give up their pursuit of self.
It's not that men are unreliable Marriages are unreliable, you have to have jobs to be independent; rather, even if your marriage is reliable, even if you marry a good man, you still have to have your own interests and hobbies to be financially independent.
Financially independent women are more confident and will usually be nice to themselves rather than wronged themselves.
Mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, ten years to see the mother-in-law and ten years to see the daughter-in-law, not a good that can be seen at a meeting, only a long time of contact can see through, only the mother-in-law has done it, the daughter-in-law will return, not only let you use your mouth to say, there is no plain and unprovoked good in the world.
May all the women in the world know how to get along, may all the mothers-in-law in the world not forget the days of the first daughter-in-law, may all the daughters-in-law in the world treat their mothers-in-law sincerely, but do not pay attention to reciprocal returns, only in this way can we truly handle the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, so that our family is harmonious and warm.