01
Late last fall, a female friend broke up and asked me for a drink.
Because the stones were faintly painful, I just needed a glass of boiled water and listened to her.
The relationship lasted more than a year, and her boyfriend was 3 years younger than her. When they were together, every festival was very grand, and although she was no longer a little girl, it still touched her heart.
For last year's birthday, her boyfriend prepared gifts for each of her years old, old newspapers on birth day, internet celebrity cakes on Douyin, limited edition bags and shoes...
Not to mention how much it costs, these thoughts alone are already many adults who are not willing to spend time thinking about it.
As long as it is Valentine's Day, white, black, Chinese, foreign, not only celebrate the festival, but each festival is different.
The surprises of being together are constant, and the breakup is equally frightening. The boyfriend played missing contact, running away, hunger strike... The breakup game played in the idol drama did not fall down a single scene.
Friends said that he is worthy of a person who likes the sense of ceremony, even the breakup can make so many tricks, the sister is 28 years old, really toss and turn.
The feeling that my friend gave me was that my sanity was a little terrible, and I broke up when I broke up, and I wouldn't cry hysterically, after all, masks and eye creams are expensive.
02
The breakup of friends reminds me of a popular breakup "unspoken rule" among adults: no deletion, no blocking, no contact.
The mature concept of love is to respect each other, take responsibility, and leave room for it.
So should a decent breakup, separated because of understanding, strange because of respect.
I don't contact anymore because I respect you and don't want any of my actions to get in the way of you.
I used to think you wanted to go with me to see the Borealis in Northern Europe, but halfway found that you prefer the coast of the Maldives, I tried to tell you how beautiful the aurora was, but you said that there were people waiting for you on the beach. It doesn't matter, who doesn't love wrong when it comes?
You have your sunshine, I have my snow and wind, and I would never want to be the one that made you look back while traveling south. Running all the way forward without my interference is your best life.
I don't want to send a random text message to care if your life is okay, nor do I want to make a phone call to listen to a long-lost voice. I may not be happier without you, but you can be more free without me, and any random stirring and involvement is a blasphemy against those unforgettable pasts.
If you've ever loved, take responsibility like an adult and break up with dignity. Don't ask the reason for right or wrong, leave freely, even if the strange road meets, you can naturally hold the hand of others and pass by.
Our feelings are just like this, wanting to hold hands is a lifetime of love, but living in an era when going to bed is fruitless.
No quarrels, no fights, quietly lying in each other's lists, no deletion, no blackout, no contact, the progress of civilization brings a hint of coldness and thinness.
03
I was a math teacher with no story, but I also had less than double-digit exes.
One of them, quarrel - breakup - compound - quarrel, the cycle is repeated many times, at the beginning of the breakup to delete the black, in fact, the heart can not put down, and the surface is fierce.
Because I still love, I block, delete, say harsh words, do not contact, insist on insisting, as if whoever takes the initiative first will fall behind.
The final breakup, no blocking, no deletion, not even harsh words. There was no rush, no thousand arrows piercing the heart, no superficially pretending not to care like countless times before, but in fact, the sadness was connected to the stomach and kept vomiting.
It is false to say that I am not sad, but the little "relief" in my heart made me wake up and blame myself, and finally polished all her love for me, all her attachments, all her longings.
We just lay quietly in the social platform that we once owned, without deletion, without blocking, without vicious words, without pretense, without pretense, without game exchanges.
In the beginning, I would cry in the dark of the night, but I knew that I blamed myself, so that she had saved enough disappointment and not left many happy memories.
Maybe she should be grateful for her fate, and finally be free and free without a trace of nostalgia, and walk towards tomorrow without me. She should have deleted me in her mind, and the deletion from the list was just a ritual and no longer important.
In the past few years, we have deleted each other many times, and most of the time I am the one who has been deleted and blocked. However, we know in our hearts that with this action, we just can't put it down.
Today, they lie quietly in each other's contact list, but they are doomed to die of inexperience.
04
Every adult who is horribly sane has experienced love and hysterical breakups.
Later reason is not because of thin feelings, but there are more important things than emotions that need to be taken into account.
You can't cry and swell your eyes, because tomorrow you have to see the bidder and Party A; you can't drop your phone, because there will be a work call at any time.
You can't go on a hunger strike because it's a critical juncture in the project now; you can't argue while driving because you don't want to pay more for next year's premiums.
You can't let the people who covet your position know that you are not having a good time, otherwise the company's gossip may be more exciting than the novel.
In the adult world, the cost of emotional trial and error is too high, and it can't withstand ten days and half a month of stagnation, after all, physical strength can't keep up.
Therefore, the two adults, both sides are very aware of each other's contradictions are irreconcilable, only quietly and rationally "kindly break up" and heal their own wounds.
Everyone disappears for a while when they are most disappointed. You never know that during that time, a torrential rain had fallen on her world and all the stars in the sky had gone black.
Later, she came out of the darkness, and the scars that she did not dare to uncover finally grew into armor.