As a parent, I ask you an objective fact, do you feel that your children are sometimes very large?
In other words, in fact, most of today's children are precocious, and they are very sensitive to money and material conditions at a young age, which is really not the same as when we were young.
Chatting with a colleague a few days ago, he said this to me: "Yesterday Jiabao came back from school, dejected, didn't say anything, and went directly into his own room." I asked him what was wrong, and the kid suddenly looked up at me and asked, 'Dad, how many apartments do we have in our house?' 'To be honest, I was stunned when asked..."
I asked stiffly, "Of course, this is the set, what's wrong?" As a result, he showed a disappointed look and told me that his classmates said that they had six suites in their home, and that they had a large garden in the house, and that there was a huge TV in the living room to cast screens and watch movies. To my greatest surprise, he also asked me: Are we poor?
As soon as this question is thrown, everyone will be surprised, who would have thought that such a young child would ask such a question?
Empathize with how I would answer my child when I hear that question.
Is it because we don't have enough money to buy so many houses? Or maybe I avoided the question and deliberately diverted the topic. But since the child is already comparing and observing our lives, what else will he learn from my escape: Will he feel inferior? Do you think we're really poor? Will it hurt the child's self-esteem, will the child have the mentality of pleasing others, and even whether the child will be estranged from the parents.
This question is indeed a bit difficult to understand.
I really didn't expect that at a young age, a child could observe so many things and start to measure it in terms of money and price.
In fact, your answer seems to be more important.
My colleague said to his child, "Dad is glad you told Dad your questions. Well, Dad would like to ask you a few questions too, can he? The child nodded.
"The first priority as a student is to study, right, but isn't it important that the TV is big?" The child shook his head.
"It costs a lot of money to buy a house with a garden, and our family's house, although a little smaller, saves money. Isn't it good that we use the money we save to buy you toys, books, and travel with you, so that you can be a spiritual 'rich man'? ”
"Their house is bigger than ours, but is it comfortable for us?" He shook his head again and told me it was comfortable to be at home with Mom and Dad.
"Family treasure, our family is not poor, but the family's money is used on the blade of the knife." Dad didn't change the big TV because Dad hoped that you wouldn't be obsessed with watching TV, but concentrate on studying; there was no big house because it was enough for our family of three to live here, and when you became a family later, our family members increased, and then we had to change the big house. ”
After jiabao listened, his face immediately became much clearer, and he said happily: "It turns out that our family is not poor, but we have to spend money in a more worthwhile place!" ”
It has to be said that this not only protects the child's self-esteem, but also redefines the true meaning of "poor" and "rich", so that the child does not compare for the superficial glitz, but pays attention to the prosperity of the spiritual world.
As parents, we need to help our children find something confident, which is the core values. If the child feels that materialism is the criterion for evaluating whether a person is excellent, it will definitely be inferior; if the child is based on the quality of the person, the quality of the academic, the level of ability, etc., it will not be inferior because of material conditions.
Let children understand that a person's realm and achievements are not proved by big houses, brand-name clothes, and brand-name shoes, but by their own efforts and connotations.
Tell your child that external things are suitable for themselves, and if they really like it, they can buy according to their own ability range when they grow up and have the ability.
Now the gap between rich and poor in society is getting bigger and bigger, the same class of children, some are rich second generation, wearing famous brands, using Apple mobile phones; and some families are poor second generation, wearing old clothes of old brothers and sisters, not to mention equipped with mobile phones, the gap is really big...
When children ask questions about "money," many parents are used to "crying poor" in front of their children:
We work hard to earn money just to provide you with education, if you don't have to work, are you worthy of us?
Do you know how hard dad works at work, just to earn money to study for you, you are still so ignorant!
There is no money in the family, only rely on you to study well and make a lot of money in the future!
.......
There are really too many similar words, I don't know if you as a parent have said this to your children, but do you know how serious the consequences of doing so are?
First, let's look at a picture:
I believe that everyone is not unfamiliar with this picture at all. The picture is taken from the hit drama "The Name of the People", in which the impressive character Zhao Dehan was found to be huge, and he clearly remembered the amount of bribes he took: 23999540 yuan.
He cried bitterly: "Our ancestors have been farmers for generations, and they are poor and afraid", which reflects the sequelae of the character's childhood under the influence of his parents' "crying poverty".
The family is generally poor, parents often cry poor in front of their children, ask their children to work hard, and the hope of the whole family lies in the children alone, what is the result? When you grow up, you will break through the moral bottom line and do whatever it takes to make money, because you are "poor and afraid"!
We educate the child not so that he can bear a heavy family burden, but to make him self-sufficient and support his own piece of the sky.
The result of being indoctrinated with the concept of poverty from an early age is often that children especially care about money, even if they have money when they grow up, they will be very critical, so that communication after coming out of society is hindered. Don't put pressure on your child to be poor, and don't let poverty become a nightmare for your child's life.