I remember that from elementary school to junior high school, I was the smallest in my class.
The first time I went to physical education class, I was taken out by the teacher because of uncoordinated body movements, and since then, physical education class has become a psychological shadow that I have always had during my school days.
When we feel uncertain inside, we may often tell ourselves:
Don't care what other people think.
But I have to admit that a person's self-confidence is often slowly formed under the "eyes of others".
If a person grows up with the neglect of their parents from an early age, then self-confidence will often become a luxury.
But if you get too much attention from an early age, you may also fall into the vice of caring too much about other people's opinions or overly self.
A person's self-confidence is also related to the specific situation, and a person who was originally very confident may also show an inferiority complex in some situations.
To understand what true self-confidence is, we can divide it into 3 levels to interpret it.
Level 1: External self-confidence
Man is a social animal, and we need to make a better life by connecting with others.
Therefore, whether a person has enough confidence in himself or herself is often directly related to his or her interpersonal relationships.
When we are young, we will be very concerned about our parents' evaluation of ourselves, and in the process of growing up, the evaluation of friends, teachers, colleagues, superiors and other social relationships will also affect our quality of life.
A person's self-awareness is formed in the process of internalizing other people's feedback on themselves, which is not necessarily a direct evaluation, but also includes the feelings formed by non-verbal information such as expressions, body movements and contact, and intonation.
External evaluation, if not internalized to form a self-awareness level of self-confidence, then it will become an important source of insecurity in a person's life.
Because other people's evaluations are highly uncertain, this unknown is often both expected and feared.
Level two: Inner self-confidence
Stable and continuous external evaluations can often make people successfully internalize affirmations from the outside into their own internal self-confidence.
That is, a person begins to no longer rely on the evaluation of others, but develops confidence in stable internal traits such as his own personality and ability.
Inner self-confidence has a positive effect on a person's external image, work efficiency, and expression ability.
A confident person will often be accompanied by less self-internal friction, and will be more willing to actively express himself, and is more likely to get more opportunities in life.
However, there may also be a problem with inner self-confidence, that is, there is a huge gap between their own cognition and objective reality, showing the appearance of "both ordinary and confident".
When I was a psychology teacher in school before, I met such a student.
He said his family thought he was a man of great writing skills, that his grandfather would lock up his writings in a safe, and that he was at school and had a hard time communicating with other classmates because he felt they couldn't keep up with his thoughts.
As a primary school student, it may be that the excessive attention and praise from his family has led to his over-evaluation of his ability.
Level Three: There is self-confidence
Everyone is unique, with a body and soul that is unique in the world.
Whether it is external self-confidence or inner self-confidence, in fact, in a person's mind, different scoring systems are divided through a series of criteria.
That is to say, we will evaluate others and ourselves in different ways to obtain a certain sense of self-superiority.
And the confidence gained through comparison is always unstable, because no matter how well you do, there are better people in the world than yourself.
True self-confidence is self-confidence in life, aware of their own happiness and pain, are unique, regardless of their own ability, have their own place in the world.
Self-confidence is a source of a person's life energy.
We all aspire to gradually deepen our self-confidence in the process of life.
True self-confidence is not formed through comparison or competition, but every life is bound to go through such a process.
The beauty of life is not about winning, but about the feeling of every moment of life.
Everyone is special, and self-confidence allows us to see our own specialness, and at the same time, we also see the specialness of others.