George Bernard Shaw said: Home is the only place in the world where human shortcomings and failures are hidden, and it also contains sweet love.
The harmony and happiness of a family are all permeated with the love of parents and the affection of brothers and sisters, and in all feelings, the love of mothers for their children is even more difficult to forget. Some people say, without a mother, what is a family? It can be seen that the mother's position in a family is supreme, because where the mother is, where is the happiest place. However, there are many children who do not know how to filial piety to their parents, and make their mothers sad and angry for their own selfish interests.
Hao Da Niang, who lives in Nancun, Yangquan City, is 83 years old this year, has 2 sons and 4 daughters, and when she was supposed to enjoy her old age in peace, she did not expect that she was recently choked by her 60-year-old second son.
A few days ago, the second son and the eldest son-in-law came to her door drunk after drinking, complaining that the mother had not made up for him, which made the second daughter who rushed back in a hurry angry, seeing his attitude towards his mother, as a daughter, how could she stand by and watch, she wanted to stop her brother, but she did not expect that the second brother beat her.
And what made Hao Da Niang and the second daughter and the fourth daughter feel that the excessive things were still to come, and the second son actually pointed to her dog the next day and said to his mother: "I don't have a knife, if I have a knife, I will cut it." Hao Da Niang felt that the second son was obviously referring to Sang Scolding Huai, because this dog had accompanied her for 16 years, and she couldn't figure out how she had given birth to a son, and his son would treat her like this.
Not only that, but the second son was not good at honoring her, and she wanted him to take on the obligation of supporting himself now.
The second son explained that some time ago his mother called him to say that the courtyard wall collapsed, so that he took his mother's wooden fence and sent it back, but he was busy harvesting autumn at the time, he was a few days late, he did not expect that his mother scolded him on the phone, the more he wanted to get angrier, that day he and his brother-in-law went to find his mother theory through wine.
Because his mother has always been partial to the big brother, he has long been unable to see it, and because the fence is not forgiving to him, in exchange for the big brother, the mother will never do this. At that time, the eldest brother-in-law just wanted to fight for himself.
Mencius said: "The filial piety is greater than respect." The theory that the son went to his mother when he was drunk was itself disrespectful to the elderly, let alone to his sister, which made the mother feel even more sad.
Speaking of his mother's eccentricity, the second son said that he sent 20 pounds of rice to his mother, and his mother actually said that he sent old rice, he bought back 12 bags of potatoes, and even his own home did not return, directly sent four bags to his mother, and his mother actually told others the next day that the potatoes he bought were not good. His mother's practices made him feel very wronged, and he felt that he could not get into his mother's eyes by doing anything.
According to Hao Da Niang, the eldest son went out in his teens, she felt that she had paid less to the eldest son, but the eldest son was very good to her after he returned, she had been in the hospital twice, it was the eldest son's advance money, not only contributed money but also contributed, and what good things were also done to her. The second son grew up around her, and she also hurt the second son the most, but she did not expect that the second son's approach made her very sad.
It has been said that a man is a despicable person if he makes his mother sad, no matter how prominent his position, no matter how famous he is.
Hao Da Niang said that because the relationship between the second daughter-in-law and her was not good, the second son later broke off relations with her, and the meeting was all around the way. The second son denied that he was not good for his mother, but instead said his grievances.
The second son said that it was because he was poor, his mother looked down on him, they had six brothers and sisters, the eldest brother earned more than 10,000 a month, the younger sister built a high-rise building, their living conditions were very rich, and his economic conditions were the worst, because his hands were disabled in the early years, and he could only make a living by farming. At the end of last year, my wife had another serious illness, spent all the family's savings, and finally did not keep it.
It's funny, he has poor conditions, he doesn't look for reasons from himself, but he says that his mother looks down on him. It can be seen that this second son's heart is full of hatred. From a phenomenological point of view, hatred is a normal psychology of people, a psychological state caused by setbacks caused by comparison and an imbalance in demand.
Psychologically, a man who lives in hatred is mentally miserable. Hatred is a seed planted in the heart that stems from the outbreak of an event. Because he has a hand disability, he has an inferiority complex, his brothers and sisters are better off than him, and his wife is sick and owes foreign debt, so his heart is even more unbalanced.
Because my conditions are not as good as yours, you should help me, and this "should" is the beginning of his psychological distortion. If it becomes a habit for a person to take advantage of, it becomes a matter of course. Because he has to pay off the debts owed by his wife for medical treatment, the unfairness, anger, comparison, and inadvertent words of others will make him more burdened and will have resentment towards his family.
Seeing that his son complained about himself, he let Hao Daniang be angry and said that he just didn't understand Good Lai. The second son has been very estranged from her since he got married, and she has not calculated, knowing that the second son is in financial difficulties, she in turn subsidizes the second son the most. In 2016, she also divided her old house into two and gave half of her second son, and planted more than 16 acres of land under her name, and he could also earn more than 10,000 yuan a year.
Hao Daniang's fourth daughter also said that the second brother's family had an accident, and they also did their best to help the second brother, and usually gave the second brother money and did not want to come back. The second daughter said that her family opened a hardware store, he went to the store to get what, never paid money, she did not worry about anything with him. They helped the second brother, just to make him feel better for the old man. But the second brother felt that his conditions were not good, as if he had to be reasonable, which made them feel very unhappy.
The second son also knew that his family was in difficulty, and the sisters helped him, saying that he would not mess with his mother in the future, and would take good care of his mother. But he also had a condition, he wanted to take his mother to his own care, that is, the second and fourth daughters must return the money borrowed from the old mother to their mother.
This is strange, what does the sisters have to do with your elderly mother if they don't pay back? His fourth sister said that the second brother was able to say such things, which was obviously instigated by others.
Hao Da Niang said that the daughters had borrowed her money before, but then they all returned it to her, and she really did not expect that the eldest daughter had to tell the second son about this matter, so that the second son stood against her and other children, and now the two people had become a gang, neither uniting the other sisters, nor supporting her well.
The eldest daughter admitted that she had indeed told the second brother that the sisters had borrowed her mother's money, but she also said at the time that everyone had repaid the old man. It's just that she is very aggrieved in her heart, because from childhood to adulthood, she has contributed the most in this family, and she has never borrowed a penny from her parents. She was sure that her mother had money in her hands, because when she died, her father had told her that she had saved money.
The money left by the father, the mother has to live for so many years, there must be expenses. However, the mother's money, she is willing to give to whomever she wants, the eldest daughter has no reason to calculate and interfere, but she just thinks that her brothers and sisters have received the benefits of their parents, she does not have, so her heart has been unbalanced. In addition, he and the fourth sister had a dispute in the WeChat group about the mother's support, so they were not happy.
Hao Da Niang said that for so many years, the eldest daughter has not been in place, and dancing and singing all day have not fulfilled her heart. Hearing the mother's accusations, the eldest daughter was very unconvinced. Hao Da Niang said, you have seen me several times a year, washed my clothes several times, how many times have I been to your house? Listening to the mother's series of questions, the eldest daughter finally stopped defending.
Hao Da Niang explained that it was the eldest daughter who lost her duty first, and did not filial piety to herself, and as a result, she also picked the reason for the fourth daughter, and even joined forces with the second son to destroy the relationship between the sisters, which really made her angry.
In our cognition, living in a family with many brothers and sisters, as the eldest brother or eldest sister in the family, there is invisibly more responsibility and mission to take care of younger siblings. Because as the eldest, they can best appreciate the hardships and labors of their parents, so they will do what they can to help their parents and take care of their sisters, so the eldest in the family is most loved by their younger siblings, because they are more responsible and most valued by their parents.
But this eldest daughter of Hao Da Niang's style of acting is surprising, the father is gone, she should unite her brothers and sisters, do a good job as the leader of this family, and arrange her mother's life well is the right thing to do, not to mention that the sisters are thinking of her good, but she complains that she not only failed to fulfill her obligation to support her mother, but also provoked a war between the second brother and her mother, which is really a loss of the style of a big sister.
The eldest daughter realized that she was wrong and immediately expressed her attitude to her mother, "The fourth daughter can take care of you for three months, and I can take care of you for one, two, and three years", but Hao Daniang resolutely opposed it, because the various practices of the eldest daughter and the second son have made her sad, she does not believe in anyone now, and she has a new arrangement for her later life.
Hao Da Niang said that now the second son must return his 16 acres of land, she has to rent out to collect rent to hire a nanny, plus the care of the eldest son and the other three daughters, life will definitely be good. Who knew that when he heard his mother say this, the second son lost his temper, and he firmly stated that he would not return the land to his mother, because he would use the income from farming to pay off the foreign debt. This makes people wonder, you want to get the benefits of the elderly, and why don't you treat the old mother well?
But the second son had a word, go to the edge of the sky girls can not plant my mother's land, I died with my son, my son died with grandchildren, it is not your turn to plant girls, after saying this he turned around and left.
This is really my poor and reasonable momentum! Mother's land is not only determined not to be returned, but she must use it to collect money to pay off debts. This is just that, not only do not want to support the elderly, but also occupy this 16 acres of land, other brothers and sisters do not have the right to plant, he wants to leave his sons and grandchildren, this idea is really called a "no"!
Hao's eldest son said that his mother and brother's temper are particularly stubborn, and his brother will not speak softly, and they will continue to help unblock the relationship. Hao Da Niang also said that if the second son is not aware of his own problems, she will return to her own land through legal channels.
After watching it, it is really lamentable, a big family, the old mother is alive, there is no disease and no disaster, how blessed is the children, the eldest daughter and the second son are still so gangs and factions to engage in infighting, it is really speechless.
Zhu Bailu said in the "Zhu Zi Family Training": "Heavy on wealth, thin parents, not adult children." He told people that if they value money too much and neglect to honor their parents, they are not worthy to be people's children at all.
From the words of the eldest daughter and the second son, both have a comparative psychology, and the eldest daughter believes that she has not spent her parents' money, which creates an imbalance in her heart.
Of the six siblings, the other four were better off financially than they were, so resentment would emerge as a result of the second son's comparison. And once the comparison gives rise to resentment, it will not stop there, but will continue to produce a need to seek to satisfy the object and vent the repression.
The second son's unreasonable teasing lies in his own weakness so that he can't get out, and in the process of this repeated cycle, he constantly perceives, constantly compares, constantly degrades, and constantly emotionally rolls in, which eventually makes him constantly resentful.
It can be seen that this second son is simple in thought, narrow-minded, and loves to take advantage of small things, he obviously got half of his mother's house and 16 acres of land, but he complained that his mother did not subsidize him, because he let jealousy and interests blind his heart. It has become a person who only knows how to take and does not understand gratitude, and even the old mother's 16 acres of land want to be appropriated, which is really not enough for the people to swallow the elephant.
In fact, the bad performance of the second son is in the bright place, among their brothers and sisters, the eldest sister is the most shrewd and calculating, and the second son dares to be unreasonable to the mother, which is caused by the eldest sister fanning the wind and ignition behind her back. Obviously, it was a long time ago, but the eldest sister deliberately told her brother about the two sisters borrowing their mother's money, which was obviously a set for the second brother.
Therefore, he was used as a gunman by the eldest sister and the eldest brother-in-law, and the eldest brother-in-law seemed to go to him to ask for explanations, but in fact wanted to explore his mother's family background. Among Hao's six children, in fact, the eldest daughter is the most selfish, not only is she not filial piety, but she has been calculating her mother's money. She is the culprit responsible for the discord in the family.
Life is not easy, I hope that their family cherishes family affection and lets the old mother have a happy old age!