Lu Zizhong's works, editor-in-chief Huang Youzhong
Author Mother
In two years, my mother will be ninety years old.
In recent years, the mother has changed the habit of speaking softly in the past, gradually nagging, always love to mention some old things, perhaps because of age, often dreaming at night, emotions evoked her smokey past, she usually only said that there are our brothers and sisters, five men and two women, there is a pause in speech, as children, brothers and sisters do not care at all when she says this sentence There are signs of pause! Like a gentle wind blowing through their eyes, but I was grumpy about her words, and for a moment there was a slight pause, when I saw her cautiously peering at all the movements around her, and the uneasy heart seemed to be beating faster and faster, and did not dare to say it any further, it was as if there was a kind of incoherence that did not speak, which made me feel confused, and felt that there was no solution to the mystery in her heart, but her words did not show the stuffing, and superficially covered up the facts. In fact, this is a kind of pain buried in her heart of the torment, I carefully deliberated with the help of logical thinking, this is a sentence in the words, leaving some clues, there should be other hidden truths, hidden a set of invisible private passwords.
Since then, I have also buried it in the depths of my heart, and I have also buried it in the wind of my ears, no longer mentioning it to anyone in the family, not wanting to dig up the bottom line that should not be asked, after all, it is a pregnancy in October, a childbirth, it is the mother's saddest and most painful years, if you touch that sensitive nerve again, it is to sprinkle a handful of salt on the mother's scar, which may be a taboo place in the mother's heart. Sheep have the grace of kneeling! Every mother conceives and gives birth to a child is her right, she is willing to gamble with her life to mark the sky, would rather hold a risk of one in ten thousand to let herself die, but also leave ten thousand hopes to her children to live! That is to say, as long as there is one percent hope, we must do our best to fight for it! This is the last great love that every mother leaves for her children. Take a look! At the time of the Wenchuan earthquake, when the disaster came, a kind mother showed her human nature, and she raised her hands with all her strength to cover the picture of her dear child with her body. Later, the anger of nature could not be resisted, and the mother and children were swallowed up and buried deep in the ground with the speed of lightning, although both of them were also killed, it was not difficult to see that the gesture of raising their hands in that scene was clearly visible and really moving! Blood is thicker than water! A living reality! It can really make every flesh-and-blood compatriot move to tears in their hearts! So, there is nothing greater in the world than a mother! People have been singing the praises of the kind mother's love!
For many years, the mother has been hiding that big secret in her heart, and she has not talked about the past in front of her children, which is her compassion and sadness! Late last year's Chinese New Year's Eve after dinner, the family sat in the main house to roast the fire for warmth, talk about household affairs, I also put some positive energy working outside, around the good things to share with the whole family, every child to give a testimonial, really like a family meeting as warm, a vivid image than one said is also interested, not out of touch with reality, rich in a sense of the times, there is a laughing atmosphere, showing a family harmony, home and everything is happy the thick atmosphere, you talk about me until three o'clock in the morning, everyone does not feel that there are signs of fatigue, Niang only listened intently on the side, and inadvertently one of my words touched Niang's nerves. I said, I only have a brother, if there is one more, maybe our family is still better, many laborers may not go to the army to become a soldier, can comfortably study in school, maybe I can be admitted to a university, the mother suddenly elongated her face and darkened! Suddenly, I was helpless and stunned. So, hurriedly asked: Mother, what's the matter! Am I speaking to you? Mother, I shake the wrinkled old hand of the mother, mother, you talk! It's time for you to tell a story to a few of us, and the mother wiped away the tears that flowed from her face. Sigh to yourself and say, "Hey! Children, what tears do you shed for the New Year? Everyone is happy together! Seventy years have passed! What is the reason for this? What secrets are hidden behind her? The seven children were quietly waiting for their mother to open the conversation box, and saw her slowly telling the heart of that year, just like a knife carved stone stele, exquisitely carved, at a glance.
In the year of the liberation of Guangxi, through the matchmaking of the red bride, the father and the mother registered with the government and officially became a legal couple. The following year, the first child gave birth to a son, he lived until the age of twelve, the lag of medicine in the early liberation period, but also at that time his own economic powerlessness, lack of medical treatment, a continuous high fever did not go away, eating Western medicine did not work, failed to send him to the provincial city hospital for treatment, can only find the country Langzhong with Chinese herbal medicine to serve, after the high fever was controlled, but let her son fall blind, only less than half a year apart, and then sent him to the hospital to check what the cause is, after a few days to return to the day of fatigue and died, Hearing her talk about that painful journey, I really sighed at the sadness of losing her son. The lambs raised at home are gone, the ewe will bark sooner or later, the mother is like a ewe, sooner or later she is calling for her own flesh and bones, and every day she sinks in the grief of losing her son...!
In 1956, the eldest sister was born, and the previous eldest brother was six years older than the eldest sister, with a spacing of six years, and asked whether the eldest sister really had this. She was silent, only vaguely as if she were ignorant. Since then, every four years, the mother has a child, until seven or five years, a total of eight children, surviving seven people, the mother left us seven living lives, but also to raise everyone to adulthood, until the establishment of a family! I can't describe how many painful days my mother endured to live in this great era! I can only say in my heart that we will never forget your nurturing grace, you have brought every happy family to your children! Your kindness is higher than the sky and deeper than the sea! We will always remember your great kindness, the crow has the righteousness of feeding back, mother! Your dripping grace, children will surely repay the spring!
People often say: "left eye jumping wealth, right eye jumping disaster", a disaster fell on the mother's body, in 1970, the mother felt uncomfortable, the father hurriedly sent the mother to the town hospital to check the body, the result of the examination was hydropulmonary water, and then sent to the county people's hospital to get a diagnosis again, in that difficult era, many children in the family, like birds waiting to be fed, the family is surrounded by walls, stretched, the family is facing an unprecedented disaster in history, the mother's symptoms need to be sent to the provincial city hospital in time for treatment, The mother seemed to understand that she was not an ordinary condition, and looked at her father with tears in her eyes, she held her father's hand tightly, and used the last bit of strength in her body to barely support the weak sick body and murmured to her father: "His father, if my illness is not well healed." After leaving, you don't have to be sad, you want to raise the children, but you still have to promise me, I must marry another one, let her share a pain for you well", hearing the mother's heartfelt words, Daddy's tears swirled in the eyes, and could not be suppressed, Daddy said: Heaven has no relatives, often with good people, our family is kind in heart, good people have a peaceful life! You'll be fine, you can hold on, the kids are at home looking forward to you coming home!
Only two days later, the hospital issued a notice to the family that the patient was critically ill, and it was urgent to immediately carry out abdominal shaving surgery on the patient, in order to save the possibility of the patient's life, it is said that the operation fee is close to two thousand yuan, the father who has always been honest and honest in the case of love and helplessness, in time to tell the news to the villagers, all to this part, he cheekily went door to door to borrow money, every time he went to the family, the father said: "Brother, the child is now in the emergency room of the provincial city hospital, on the verge of death, As long as you can lend me a little money, it is possible to keep his mother's life, the family will not be separated, I swear to you on my knees, no matter how great the poverty and difficulty, in the future, our whole family and so many hands will definitely double the return for everyone, please brothers." After saying that, helplessly shed sour tears, in the village, these days, the villagers have not heard the voice and shadow of the mother, everyone also guessed that the mother's condition has indeed become serious, the villagers see such a fragile family may fall at any time, they look at the eyes, anxious in the heart. Therefore, the instructors in the production team urgently held a collective mobilization meeting, the central theme revolved around: "one side has difficulties, eight parties support", proposed to raise donations in the village to help this family facing collapse, the whole village every household responded, you five yuan I ten yuan, rich families also took out dozens of yuan, a hundred yuan, the initiator is with a book to write down the donor's name, amount, just because of everyone's hand-raising strength, rich money, no money to my house to volunteer to do housework, everyone collects firewood Flame high! Dad saw the generosity of the neighbors, the snow to send charcoal to this difficult family to bring care and warmth, moved to shed tears of excitement, but also looked forward to the hope of the continuation of the mother's life, Dad with the heartfelt blessings of the villagers, with the villagers raised more than two thousand yuan of charity, rushed to the provincial city hospital, due to timely surgery and treatment, the mother's body two ribs serious infection was removed, the entire lung was also cut away two-thirds, the body slowly returned to normal, After half a month, you can be discharged from the hospital and go home.
Parting is a kind of pain, meeting is a joy, from the courtyard to the home, the mother has also been at home resting, because of major surgery, organ mutilation, after nine deaths in a lifetime, returning home unharmed, is a very great thing. Neighbors are very sympathetic to the mother's suffering, they invariably came to visit her at home, some with bamboo baskets holding eggs, some carrying a hanging of bacon in their hands, some carrying a live chicken, from all directions rushed to comfort her, said a lot of words of comfort and encouragement, the high emotions of the villagers completely ignited the mother's heart, seeing the villagers is very happy, the joy at this time infects the mother, deeply moved by every love from everyone, the road knows the horsepower, and the people's hearts are seen for a long time! It fully reflects that when the disaster comes, there is also the kind care and support of the villagers, and the mother is a strong backing in the rear, the people's hearts are backed, the love is boundless, and the mother is excited by the front of the eyes. Firmly believe that you can still have a good body, a good mood, get back up, determined to summon up the courage to overcome difficulties, live up to the love and expectations of the villagers, even if the world is full of tribulations, there are villagers to protect you!
Wind and rain, a life of ups and downs, the burden of life has taken away the grace of her mother's past, the years have carved her full of wrinkled skin, and the silver hair, the cold winter dusk, is the epitome of the alternation of day and night, I use the winter dusk and the mother's age contrast is more appropriate, life is like a dream, dreams are like life, she from adolescence to youth, from youth to middle age, from middle age to old age, this is a beautiful encounter, no matter how time flows, can not wash away the mother's memories of the past! Yesterday the memory still came to her mind, she suddenly told me the word life, she thinks that everyone is: "from their own crying, from the crying of others", so the description is more appropriate, not exaggerated, this is the pattern of life. Gradually, she also lamented to me about life: "Money and wealth are empty, fame and status are a dream"!
Father has been gone for many years, every year I have to go back to my hometown several times to see my elderly mother, I think so, my mother is old, the body is not as good as a year, I have seen it once, don't wait until I lose it to know how to cherish, looking at every time I will drive back to the city, the mother seems to wipe her tears, in the main hall hall, the mother said to me: "Go to graze, don't look at the cattle, don't let the cattle be lost"! In our rural areas, the general owner of the house is no longer alive, the children go home for the holidays, and when they return home, they all use this custom to bypass the topic and insinuate the advice, which means to listen to the father on the incense table, and not let his soul accompany the children to follow! This weather-beaten old woman was bitter and worried about her children's conscience! She also seemed as if a candle that swayed in the wind could be extinguished at any moment.
My mother said to me: On the road of life, you have your scenery, I have my sky, and time may change, but it cannot change the truth, goodness and beauty of the world! Occasionally looking back, the road she had traveled, the people who had helped her, the blossoms of that season, the small pieces of affection, could still make her warm and tearful.
2021/11/8
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Lu Zizhong
Lu Zizhong, male, was conscripted into the army in 1983 to serve in a certain army in Guangxi, and since 1987, he has retired from active service and worked at the Laibin Branch of industrial and commercial bank of China Co., Ltd. His works have appeared in today's headlines, NetEase News, Baidu, Sohu and other online media.