Author: Mu Guang
Source: Ten Point Reading (ID: duhaoshu)
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When we think of Mr. Fu Lei, the first thing that comes to mind is his many titles, such as "Great Translator" and "Art Critic".
But apart from these titles, we should realize that he is first and foremost a great father, a parent with full love and instructions for his children.
The Fu Lei Family Letter is a letter written by Mr. and Mrs. Fu Lei to their son between 1954 and 1966. During their son's study abroad, Mr. and Mrs. Fu Lei used a letter from the family to teach their son the truth of how to behave.
Jin Yong once said that the "Fu Lei Family Letter" is a Chinese gentleman, teaching his children how to be a real Chinese gentleman.
Hong Kong writer Li Bihua once told such a lamentable story in her novel "Rouge Buckle": famous prostitutes such as flowers and twelve young children fell in love, because of the disparity in status, they were opposed by their families.
As a result, The Twelve Young broke with the family and began to live with Ruhua. The two men, who had no long skills, eventually ran out of mountains and rivers, and they agreed to eat opium together, and the dust on the Huangquan Road continued.
Who expected to die resolutely like a flower, but the twelve young men suddenly repented before dying.
Waiting for the lover not to meet the flower, helplessly returned to the human world, several twists and turns to find that the lover who met in life and death had been living alone.
Such a yin and yang separation of disappointment and betrayal ruthlessly tears the veil of emotional nothingness, exposing the greed, cowardice and selfishness of human nature.
Yes, whether it is the attachment to life or the fear of death, it is the deeply rooted nature of human beings.
If it weren't for the deep affection, how many people would be willing to give up their lives and follow another person?
However, in the early autumn of 1966, a well-dressed woman died shortly after her husband committed suicide.
This woman who used her life to make a footnote to "life and death" was Fu Lei's wife, Zhu Meifu.
Falling in love is easy to get along with
In the 1913 Lantern Festival, the snow was flying and the plums were fragrant. A family in Nanhui, Shanghai, welcomed a baby girl with a carved jade carving, named Zhu Meifu.
In an era when women rarely had the opportunity to study, Jumbo was sent to a church school by his family.
Under the systematic education, she not only mastered Chinese and English proficiently, but also learned music and painting.
Sitting at the piano in her spare time, a song of Beethoven poured out of her ten fingers.
Fu Lei, who is a distant relative of the Zhu family, often visits the house during the summer vacation. For this quiet and beautiful girl, he was fascinated.
"She was secretly looking at me, because many times I had inadvertently looked at her, and she was looking at me unintentionally, her eyes were mixed, and she was smiling foolishly."
In his debut film "In a Dream", Fu Lei described this youthful and ignorant love that belonged only to young people.
With the help of their elders, they were happily married. After marriage, Fu Lei changed his name to Zhu Meifu for his wife.
Since then, this fragrant plum fragrance has infiltrated Fu Lei's rest of his life.
If the birth of love only requires the obsession of four eyes, then the maintenance of marriage requires protracted efforts.
As a translator, Fu Lei was extremely strict, and he stipulated for himself: the daily progress should not exceed a thousand words, and under the careful combing, the words could withstand scrutiny.
Outside the quiet study that is not disturbed by mundane things, it is Zhu Meifu's responsibility day after day.
Taking care of housework, collecting materials, copying manuscripts, taking care of children, receiving visitors... In order to support her husband's career, she is busy every day like a spinning top.
In this regard, Yang Dai, who is familiar with Fu Lei and his wife, gave a pertinent evaluation:
Mei Fu was not only a gentle wife, a loving mother, a beautiful lady in the salon, she was also Fu Lei's secretary. If there is no such good logistics and good assistant, Fu Lei's work will have to be discounted by at least 30% or 40%. ”
It is hard to imagine that without The trickle of Zhu Meifu, Fu Lei's Roman Rolland, Balzac and Voltaire would still be so impressive.
In addition to the daily work, what made Zhu Meifu walk on thin ice was Fu Lei's violent temper at one point.
At the beginning of "Fu Lei's Family Letter", Fu Lei once wrote apologetically: "Child, I abused you, and I will always be sorry for you." ”
This is not false, and the young Fu Cong is often beaten and scolded by his father for no reason.
Grabbing his head and slamming it against the wall and smashing the bridge of his nose with a mosquito coil were all fu lei's angry moves.
Despite his extreme dissatisfaction with such an approach, Zhu Meifu was able to understand the source of his irritability.
Fu Lei lost his father at an early age, and several brothers and sisters died one after another. As an only son, he was seen by his widowed mother as his only hope, and the slightest slackness would be exchanged for severe corporal punishment.
Such a childhood with only a sad face and no laughter will deeply engrave paranoia and violence into Fu Lei's character.
For Fu Lei's talent, she appreciates from the bottom of her heart; for his shortcomings, she also tolerates with a broad mind.
Between Yan Father and Aizi, the gentle and generous Zhu Meifu acts as a fire extinguisher, and every time she has to blame her son before Fu Lei gets angry, in order to block her husband's anger.
Afterwards, she did not forget to gently warn her son: "Restrain yourself and end the mark of the tragedy of our family's previous generation; and this end must begin with you, so that it will not be left to future generations." ”
It can be seen that Zhu Meifu is not an ignorant wife and mother, and sobriety and reason have never been absent in her heart.
Her tolerance begins with understanding and ends with introspection.
It's easy to get along and hard to believe
Compared with Fu Lei's stormy temperament, what pains Zhu Meifu the most is her husband's overly flooded feelings.
Long before they got married, Fu Lei had an emotional experience of side-by-side.
Fu Lei, who was still studying in France at the time, met a blonde girl named Madeleine, and the two quickly fell in love.
Madeleine is enthusiastic and unrestrained, and Zhu Meifu, who is gentle and at home, is completely two types.
Fu Lei, who fell in love, said: "These two girls are as different as a painting of Monet and the silk embroidery in the hands of a scroll mother. ”
With Monet's paintings in hand, traditional juan embroidery inevitably loses its appeal.
Fu Lei, who was overwhelmed by love, immediately wrote a letter to ask his friends to help bring him back to China, planning to break off the marriage contract with Zhu Meifu.
Who knew that Madeleine was an unmarried person, but fortunately the friend in charge of carrying the letter kindly intercepted the letter, which won the room for fu Lei, who regretted it, to turn around.
A love affair that did not go deep enough ended in such a sloppy way.
In the seventh year after marriage, Zhu Meifu ushered in the biggest crisis in marriage. This time, Fu Lei fell in love with his friend's sister, the soprano singer Cheng Jia liu.
For a while, Cheng Jialiu went to other places, and Fu Lei had trouble sleeping and eating.
Without her company, he couldn't even concentrate on his work.
Looking in the eyes, Zhu Meifu, who was in pain in her heart, made a move that surprised everyone, and she personally called Cheng Jialiu: "You come back soon, old Fu is not ok, he can't work without you." ”
In the face of her love enemy, she did not quarrel or make trouble, opened the door, and treated her with courtesy.
This frankness made Fu Lei and Cheng Jia liu more or less self-conscious.
After much thought, the female singer finally chose to silently withdraw from this war without smoke.
Years later, she sighed to Fu Lei's youngest son, Fu Min: "Your mother is so good, in the end I had to leave." ”
Such a response to Rou Kegang will inevitably cause criticism: why should he endure again and again in the face of such a half-hearted husband? Have all kinds of attempts to be complete lost the bottom line and dignity of being a woman?
In fact, in any marriage that is constantly cut and chaotic, there is a subtle world that is not humane enough for outsiders, and the inside is clean.
Under the surface of Qinse and Ming, it may just be a matter of appearance and separation; behind the burden of humiliation, there is no deep meaning.
Everything is like people drinking water, cold and warm self-knowledge. Only the parties involved in it have the right to make choices based on their inner feelings.
And Zhu Meifu's repeated tolerance of Fu Lei is not just the foolish loyalty of old-fashioned women, but a mixture of admiration, thorough understanding, generous and broad compassion, and willing tolerance.
After this incident, Fu Lei also became more and more mature.
In a letter to his son many years later, he lamented the past: "Enthusiasm is a beautiful spark, beauty is beautiful, but it cannot last." There are very few lovers in the world who are in full swing to become a happy, white-headed and old couple. ”
After wearing flowers and willows, the once-hearted talent of the horse was full of affection and cherished his wife who had accompanied and cared for him for many years.
It is easy to live together and die together
Husband and wife, one to the firm, one to the soft.
However, after getting along for a long time, Zhu Meifu, a bodhisattva with a low brow, actually accepted Fu Lei, an angry-eyed Vajra.
The older he got, the more Dependent Fu Lei became on his wife, and he liked to make childish jokes with Zhu Meifu without smiling.
Outside the Fu mansion where they lived on Jiangsu Road in Shanghai, there was often a knock at the door.
"What's the matter?" Zhu Meifu asked across the door.
"Is Fu Lei at home?" The man outside the door asked in Shanghainese.
Zhu Meifu opened the door and found that it was Fu Lei, and the two couldn't help but look at each other and laugh.
Such light and funny dramas are staged from time to time in their lives.
Zhu Meifu, who was exhausted and willing, said contentedly: "We are really a lifelong partner now, and we are indispensable."
Little did she know, however, that an even bigger storm was waiting for them ahead.
In the late 1950s, the storm suddenly changed, and Fu Lei was put on the hat of a rightist, and the translation could not be published normally.
His friend Ke Ling once described Fu Lei in both form and spirit: "He was long in stature and had a serious look, like a crane that held his head high in the sky, never looking down at the mud under his feet."
If Fu Lei is a crane that is proud and noble, then Zhu Meifu is a plum that blooms with frost.
Plum blossoms and cranes have always been gentlemen who stand shoulder to shoulder.
When things were going well, she watched him strolling around, and in times of turmoil, she brought him shelter and comfort.
On difficult days, she accompanied him to read and practice words, with inner clarity, to resist the wind and frost of the outside world.
Perhaps because he had a premonition of something in his heart, Zhu Meifu said to Fu Lei, "In order not to make you lonely, when you leave, I must also follow you." ”
After Fu Lei and his wife had finished dinner as usual, Zhu Meifu asked the nanny two things: help me borrow a clean dress, and buy less for tomorrow's dishes.
After that, the two wrote a suicide note and arranged the affairs after their deaths one by one.
In the early hours of the morning, Fu Lei committed suicide, followed by Zhu Meifu. Before leaving, she did not forget to lay a thick quilt on the floor to prevent the bench she kicked down when she hanged herself from waking up the neighbors downstairs.
Life is accompanied by death.
Such a loud vow, she spent her whole life interpreting. Behind the life and death is the tacit understanding and consensus between two noble and uninhibited souls: it is better to die with incense in the branches than to blow down in the north wind.
This plum blossom has withered, but the fragrance is endless, and she will always be in the long river of time in another posture.
The Slovaks went away, taking away the wind bones of an era.
However, the "Fu Lei Family Letter" that they jointly compiled and wrote has endured for a long time and has been precipitated into a spiritual legacy that has flowed for hundreds of years.
However, when we praise the Fu family's excellent family style and educational philosophy, we often ignore Zhu Meifu, a woman hidden between the lines.
Without her hidden pain, there would be no glorious pearl.
Throughout her life, she was content in a corner and willing to play a supporting role.
However, in the face of the muddy life, the flexibility and strength she showed were inadvertently naked to the world that she was not inferior to her husband's great personality.
As the name suggests, her life is like the ink plum in Wang Mian's pen: Don't let people boast about the good color, only leave the clean and clean.
The author | Mu Guang, meet you in the text
Image | Network (if there is infringement, please contact to delete)
Article source Ten Point Reading (ID: duhaoshu), a national reading number subscribed by more than 30 million people. Please contact Ten O'Clock Reading for reprints.
Classic quotes
★ The most powerful argument in the world is like practical action, the most effective education is like leading by example; don't ask others for what you can't do; you must first criticize yourself and change yourself first.
★ Success or failure is left out as much as possible, and only strives to do its best, without shame.
★ Only if a person dares to face reality, face up to mistakes, analyze with reason, and fully understand, will he not be eroded by memory... To look at these things as the ashes of the soul, of course, when you look at them, you can't help but feel them.
★ Man spends his whole life at a high tide, a low tide, and only a mediocre person can live like a backwater; or he must have a very high level of cultivation to be able to be tired and truly liberated.
★ One after another, as long as you can climb up, you will gradually climb to the peak, beyond the ego.
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