The first time I knew about "Fu Lei's Family Book" was in the high school Chinese textbook, I remembered that its last text was the famous "Thunderstorm", so the teacher also gave us a drama excerpt for the first time.
But "Fu Lei's Family Letter" is not so well treated, the directory of its name with a big asterisk, meaning to read the subject, so for a high school student, it has no so-called exam value, I just glanced at it, as a condiment in the classroom.
Yesterday, Mr. Fu Cong passed away, and he suddenly remembered that this world-famous piano master was the son of Fu Lei and one of the protagonists in this "Family Letter".
Si people have gone, for Mr. Fu Cong's musical achievements, xiaobian belongs to the layman, this article does not dare to comment on it. What we want to share with you today is the collection of letters written by Fu Lei and his wife to their son, "Fu Lei's Family Letters".
Fu Lei and Fu Cong
Opening the "Fu Lei Family Book" that I had not finished reading again, it was time-by-day. As I grew older and more experienced, I gradually gained new views on the content of the letters, and I would like to share them with you here:
On March 24, 1954, Fu Lei wrote to his son Fu Cong:
Regarding the matter of ××, you have already made your attitude clear to me, and I believe that you will actually do it. You are still young, you are about to go abroad; your vision, hobbies, and tastes have to go through many changes; even if all the conditions are extremely satisfactory, there is no guarantee that your views on both sides will not change in the past three or four years, and thus there is no guarantee that the feelings of both sides will not change. It's best to let time test. I went abroad at the age of twenty, and you and your mother were engaged before and after I went abroad, but in the middle of four years abroad, my opinion of her changed over and over again, and I was shaken very badly. This real example can be used as a reference for you, so that you can do things more cautiously and less painfully than I do—especially for your studies and your artistic future!
Although the content of Fu Cong's letter is unknown, it can be seen through the reply that this is fu Lei's words written when he advised his son not to be bored with emotional matters, and I think it is at least sincere and rational.
Many people may know that Fu Lei was emotionally shaken when he was young, and here Fu Lei's exhortation to his son is "pushing oneself is others".
Being able to communicate frankly with children is something that I think is a rare point in Fu Lei's letters, and he did not mold himself into a perfect appearance in the letters in order to maintain his father's authority.
Another point I can tell you: even at any time in my life, when the love was at its most intense, I did not forget my loyalty to learning. Learning first, art first, truth first, love second, this is the principle that I have not changed so far. Your situation is different from mine: when a young man wins his life, he must think of "under the fame, in fact, it is difficult to be a match", and he must tremble and live up to the expectations of the Chinese people.
I think the God in your mind must also be Bach [Bach], Beethoven [Beethoven], Chopin [Chopin] and so on first, lover second. That being the case, the energy and time you have at your disposal can only be devoted to your first idol, not to the second god. You say yes or no? It's a pity that you didn't learn the technique of writing early, otherwise the excess feelings can be vented by writing (music), and an artist must be able to "sublimate" his feelings in order to be beneficial to others. I am by no means anxious to read the letter and exaggerate your bitterness; but I know that you are somewhat depressed, and I will talk to you casually, and may help you to clear some mood.
In the letters, the father who was extremely strict and even harsh on himself when he was a child is gone, but he often shows a warm side. We have to admire Fu Lei's language art, even teenagers in the rebellious period will be calmed down by this kind of seductive words.
Another example is that on May 5, 1954, Fu Lei wrote in a letter:
Did you watch Colonel Shabby? Which one do you like? Have a problem with my translation? I myself feel more and more that my intestines are extremely dry, the sentences are somewhat formulaic, the colors are not changed enough, and the words are not wide enough. The People's Literature Society asked me to translate Erde, and when I looked at it, I found it difficult to convey the style and cowered very much.
It is not difficult to see from this that Fu Lei does not always ask his children to provide him with the latest life situation as a parent, or that he does not force Fu Cong to report to him about his recent life.
Nowadays, many parents will complain about why their children are reluctant to communicate with themselves, and perhaps from here we can find some places to learn from, that is, before you want others to talk about their stories, you may wish to tell yourself first. Parent-child communication is a two-way street, and we cannot expect children to always be the one who takes the initiative to open their hearts.
Fu Lei's letter to Fu Cong revealed his expectations for his son's letter, but at that time, Fu Cong was studying music in Poland, and his busy studies may also be because of the estrangement between him and his father when he was young, and Fu Cong's replies to his parents were not frequent. But even so, Fu Cong's every letter Fu Lei would carefully treasure, but unfortunately most of it was lost in the ten years of catastrophe.
Because it is not easy to get together, it is like gold
In an era when text messages were gradually overwhelmed by CAPTCha and advertisements, letters had long since lost their former glory. Today, even when far away, parents and children can still stay in touch through the Internet at any time.
If they could be video connected every day at that time, perhaps soon they would find that they could only talk about some trivial things like what to eat for dinner today.
Perhaps it is precisely because of various time and space limitations that the Book of Fu Lei can be remembered in this way. Because it is not easy to get together, it will be extra cautious when writing, and the words are like gold.
When I grew up, I understood you
In a letter from mid-March 24, Fu Lei told his son the mistakes he had made when he was young, hoping that his life path would take fewer detours, so that we could understand the heartfelt feelings of loving his son, but in the end, the decision of the child's life lay with himself.
We can't ask a spirited teenager to make a sophisticated and calm move, because the experience of life needs to be slowly precipitated.
So many people say, "When I grew up, I understood what my father had said." Perhaps in essence, only by experiencing, only by "hitting the south wall", can we understand the true meaning of those exhortations.
I think that "Fu Lei's Family Letter" is a book that cannot be fully understood when he was young, and I believe that Fu Cong, as the recipient, may not be able to fully agree with some of his father's statements at the age of receiving the letter.
However, he did not have a chance to wait for the day when he fully tolerated and understood his father, and his parents left him forever in the catastrophe.
Every child has an educational method suitable for him, as the leader of the child's life, parents, family, will indeed affect the person's life. On such a special day, when we look back at the "Fu Lei Family Book", we will be moved by the different shining points reflected in it. Fu Lei's education for his children is not perfect, and his father, who was too strict in his childhood, put a thick heart wall between father and son, but at any time, Fu Lei asked his children to be an "artist with good moral integrity and excellent personality", always reminding him not to forget his motherland.
In fact, the story of each family getting along is not a long family letter, and after thinking of a trivial matter many years later, there are still some feelings and sighs.