Revisiting Yu Hua's "Alive", I understood the meaning of my own life

Why I recently revisited Yu Hua's life is because my bad state reminds me of the encounter of Fugui, the protagonist of Yu Hua's novel "Alive", and I can't help but ask myself why Fugui has experienced so much suffering in his life and will continue to live, and my life should have just begun to be easily defeated by difficulties to the point of not having the courage to get up and go forward.

At the age of 23, more than a year after graduating from college, when life should have just begun, I had an accident, because of the failure of entrepreneurship and debt, life is difficult to sustain, continuous high pressure so that I do not have the courage to continue to face the endgame, just want to isolate everything, escape everything, just want to sleep and never wake up again.

The rich and noble life in "Alive" is deeply entangled with misery. The misery of wealth is unimaginable to me, in addition to experiencing the hardships of life, but also facing the loss of loved ones again and again. This kind of misery is extremely tearing in my eyes, because the happiness and love I have are very sweet, but fate has taken away all the relatives who make sweetness for the rich, and this contrast is too heart-wrenching.

Finally, under the setting sun, the old rich man and an old cattle continue to live together. Why Fugui can still live well after experiencing this great grief, I think this is like most people who are still alive after suffering, as long as the physical function is still in operation, we need to continue to live with the grief that suffering has given us until the natural end of life.

Therefore, compared with the rich life, the darkness I am experiencing at this moment is not enough to mention.

But it was through this darkness that I suddenly truly understood what it meant to be alive. If life is a blank piece of paper, then we are destined to paint colors on it that belong only to you. Both happiness and suffering will be reflected in this drawing paper.

Living itself will have different experiences, whether it is smooth or suffering, it is the content of human life, as long as life is still there, then go with the flow, this is the meaning of living. I am still alive, I should accept the results of failure, although it will pay an unbearable price, but it is a life that I must experience.