You pay attention to me, I accompany you to love
Wen 丨 Xuan Xiaolei, Figure 丨 Network
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It seems that every few years to watch "The Life of the Rejected Pine Nuts", there is probably a kind of "find superiority from the failure of others" psychology, or from some inspiration or warning, or from the comparison to find that they are actually very happy.
Presumably, a movie, a book, can have such a role, it is already a success. However, when everyone looks at it, they have different emphases and different psychological feelings.
We certainly want everyone to see the positive effects that bring them hope, strength, and positivity, rather than feeling depressed after watching, as some viewers say.
If you have a feeling of depression, you can only say that you still have some psychological problems, or there are some problems in life, and you need to make some adjustments. Because the life of pine nuts actually has positive power.
When she faces life, she is kind and positive, those interspersed with negativity and later depravity, she has her own responsibility, but there are actually positive details in the middle, and finally it is also rekindled hope, but it is not very lucky, and hope is snuffed out by a bunch of bear children.
Anyway, she's actually working hard to face life. But there are many aspects of the impact, creating her chaotic life, in the face of these problems, she has not been able to deal with them wisely and calmly.
In fact, in other words, how should we face it? This is indeed a problem worth thinking about and solving.
First, the influence of the original family is the biggest reason
In Matsuko's law of life, many problems come from the influence of her personality, and the creation of this character comes from the original family. This influence is also the biggest impact. The psychological shadow of childhood, if you do not find a way to dissolve it when you grow up, it will really affect your life.
Each of us will be affected by the family of origin, some positive, some negative. Some people have increased their cognition in the process of growth, and after dealing with it, some have been carried by them for a lifetime because they have not learned, have no wisdom, and have no correct attitude, so that their fate is also affected by their own personality.
1. Lack of love
The biggest influence that Matsuko received from her original family was the lack of love, mainly the love of her father, the head of the family. It is also because the father gave all the favor to his sister Jigme, which is actually not bad for the father.
Jigme has been sick, weak, most of the time bedridden, her father hurt her, feel ashamed of her, better for her is also an act that ordinary people will do. So ignoring the other two children is, of course, his parenting style is not right.
Fortunately, the younger brother can dissolve on his own, or the younger brother gets love from his mother. However, Matsuko has an obsession with his father's love, and if he does not get it, his heart is missing, and compared with his kindness to his sister, it is even more missing.
A better approach to parental preferences: I think it should not be jealousy, but to go with your parents to favor the person they prefer. Of course, this can be difficult for small children.
If Matsuko couldn't do it when she was a child, if she could do it when she grew up, the situation would be much better. If she favors her sister instead of being jealous of her sister, as her father did, his father will be grateful to her, and he will feel relieved to be happy about her, and thus he will be good to her.
2. Please
Matsuko's approach: When Matsuko was a child, he found that his father did not bring gifts to his sister, and he did not accompany his sister to himself, so he thought that he did not do a good job, so he wanted to please his father, because he made a grimace to make his father laugh once, so he often used it, and his father couldn't help but laugh from the beginning, and then he laughed reluctantly and awkwardly, and could only look more funny.
Not only is she pleasing in life and action, but she is also pleasing in the value of life, and strives to get her father's like and recognition, so she goes to the school recognized by her father and does the work recognized by her father.
Better practice: None of this worked, but it didn't work, because the father didn't love her either, it was just for another reason. Therefore, when you don't get the love of your parents, you don't have to please, it will only be counterproductive, but you have self-respect, which is more likely to win respect and like.
We should all know that currying favor with this behavior is actually the greatest unpopularity. Once a person begins to please someone, his posture is not good, and you lose your brilliance and personality in the eyes of the other party.
3. Be obedient
The father felt that his sister was pitiful, so he was harsh and cold to The Pine Nuts, and it was not necessarily that he did not love them, but he just felt that pampering the Pine Nuts was unfair to his sister. Therefore, Matsuko made a little words and deeds that were unfavorable to her sister's mood and body, and her father reacted very much, and may also scold.
This caused Matsuko to be cautious, for fear of angering her father, and thus obeying. The result of this is that there is a backlog of anger and unevenness in the heart, and at a certain point it is like the string is too tight. Therefore, later, he would do excessive behaviors such as pushing down his sister, hating his sister, and pinching his sister's neck, and therefore he left home to live alone.
Better practice: If Matsuko expressed her dissatisfaction as a child, she would be angry, she would shed tears to express her grievances, and perhaps remind her father, after all, his father did not really love her.
After she left, her father was also very worried and missed, and every sentence in the diary was "the news that there are no pine nuts" is the best proof. Unfortunately, as a child, Matsuko does not know how to express, and when she grows up, she does not know how to express, and her relationship with her father has become a pity.
Second, take love as a reason to live, but meet the wrong person
After leaving the original family, Matsuko faces the world alone, with all kinds of psychological influences in that home, but also with stupidity, so life is not smooth. There is no IQ in dealing with things, no emotional intelligence in dealing with people, and after losing your job, nightmares begin.
It seems that there is no career and life goal, so love is the goal, and love is the reason to live. Unfortunately, she is not a good IQ candidate, always meeting and accepting some unreliable men, making her life even more chaotic.
If you say that you have been hurt, you can learn a lesson, but unfortunately, the pine nuts are the gesture of the moth to put out the fire every time. Because of the lack of love, and constantly looking for love, put love in the first place, feel that being loved by others can be happy.
But they don't know how to read people, can't tell each other's character or whether they really love, or they can't love each other, and they don't know how to love.
1. Writer: This man probably loves her too, but this kind of man is also dangerous, decadent, depressed, depressed, neurotic. Later, he felt that he was incompetent, could not give Matsuko a good life, or could not write good works by himself, so he committed suicide.
Some people say that he loves Matsuko, but seeing that he beat her with his hands and forced her to do things that he should not do, he felt that this kind of love was best not to have, and such love was deformed and easy to make people ruined.
When encountering such an emotionally unstable, psychologically fragile and unable to take responsibility for men, it is safer to quickly flash people.
2. Jealous of the writer's husband: This person should be the writer's peer, or rival, anyway, jealous of the writer's talent, but also jealous of his destitution and a beautiful girlfriend, because this psychology is with Matsuko.
Matsuko, on the other hand, did not see it, did not care about the identity of the husband of a woman, and ran to his house to see his wife, thinking of replacing her, fantasizing about a happy life. As a result, this action angered the man who was not good at character, not only abandoned her, but also said a lot of mean words.
These words, which were fatal to Matsuko, these words that denied her, those that mocked her, made her feel once again abandoned and despised. This is how she has felt since she was a child, and it is only after this that she has begun to be more casual in the relationship between men and women.
3. Little asshole: The man who caused her to sit in prison for eight years is just a small she met casually on the road, taking the money she earned with her body to spend on other women, and saying something that thinks she is old.
This is the act of touching the pain, the money is gone, even if it is gone, she can't stand the stimulation of these words, so she will lose control for a while and start killing people. In these eight years of prison life, the only gain may be to know Xiao Hui, a friend.
4. Barber: The existence of a barber is still meaningful, like the closest pine nuts are to happiness. Because this man is steady and stable, with him, it seems that he can live a stable and happy life. Unfortunately, when she met him, she was a fugitive.
But in the eight years of prison, I have been thinking that the barber may be waiting for her, and I have the motivation to live. Out of prison to find him, found his wife and children happy family, look at the size of the child, presumably as soon as she left, people have a new object.
However, he can become an excuse and motivation for Matsuko to survive, and he is the only man who has not found a mistake.
5. Student Aaron: Aaron really loves Matsuko, but unfortunately he is an unreliable and insecure man, doing some unsafe things, taking the road of crooked doors, love is also real love, but unfortunate is also really unfortunate.
Not long together, Aaron was arrested, waiting for Aaron to get out of prison, Matsuko should also be happy, because there is hope.
Unfortunately, later Aaron took the old routine and felt that he could not harm Matsuko, so he avoided her when he was released from prison, and then sent himself to prison. Matsuko's love dream was probably completely disillusioned at that time.
Third, there is a brother who did not "save" her, but stimulated her
Later Matsuko, should also understand that it is not easy to have love, so she wants to have the love of her family. But her father died, her sister died, and her brother wouldn't let her go home.
And every time this brother speaks, it will irritate her, making her feel that the death of her father is her fault, the death of her sister is also her fault, it is wrong to borrow some money from her brother, and it is a shame for the family to make money with her body.
Her brother did not welcome her home, and his attitude of disgusting her made her feel that love and affection were over, and it was better to spend the rest of her life casually.
Fourth, too inferior and too sensitive, gave up the best friendship of her life
Presumably, everyone thinks that the last thing Matsuko should give up is actually that friendship. The days with Xiao Hui were sunny and purely happy.
Unfortunately, Matsuko is too sensitive and too inferior, which is also the influence of the original family, and she will preconceived that others will dislike her and find trouble for others.
Therefore, seeing that Xiao Hui's "career" is developing very well, has plans for the future, and has a husband who has a family, he feels that he is superfluous, and he cannot intervene in Xiao Hui's life, thus quietly disappearing and withdrawing from Xiao Hui's life.
If she hadn't done so, she would have at least xiao hui's help, encouragement, and companionship, so that she wouldn't become alone and loveless with nothing.
Fifth, live too enthusiastically, too hard, so that disappointment will be magnified
Matsuko's life failure, to say that it is still a big influence on personality, she has been enthusiastic since she was a child, full of vitality, and wants to sing at every turn, which can be seen that she is actually an optimistic and positive person.
It's just that she works too hard, so every time she is poured cold water or hit with enthusiasm, it makes her doubt life, just like the scapegoat for Aaron when she first worked, but also because she worked too hard, did bad things with good intentions, and worked hard to please.
I pay too much, the price of substitution is too great, I love my family, love my students, I love my lover, and as a result, I am disappointed, snubbed, ridiculed, disappointed and hit.
Sixth, bad luck
In general, Matsuko's life also has elements of bad luck, such as meeting parents who do not know how to take care of children's psychology, meeting families who are not in important positions, and encountering some unreliable and unreliable boyfriends.
Especially the final ending, it is really because of bad luck, getting up in the middle of the night to find Xiao Hui's business card, he did nothing, he was given "Ho Ho" by a group of bear children.
Obviously, his confidence and hope in life were ignited again, and he obviously walked to the light in a few steps, and as a result, he could only turn around and come back and fall into the darkness permanently. This life is indeed depressing.
Of course, from the perspective of Matsuko's life course, she is indeed a tragedy, in fact, looking at some details, she still has many happy moments, she has also smiled brightly, beautifully, had real friendship and love, and also understood his father's love when he saw his diary after his father's death.
It's just that most people's life path is inevitable, the clouds and suns are difficult to determine, and only by being able to carry through those clouds and sunshine can we be blessed to enjoy those fragmented happiness. Matsuko didn't carry it to the end, but at least she left toward the light with renewed hope, which is probably a little comfort.
After all, if she really comes back again, what ups and downs will she face? Can she become stronger or smarter and more coping?
Perhaps, a person's life will bring others a lot of thinking and reflection, and some places should also make people take it as a warning, presumably it is not worth it.
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The life of the abandoned pine nuts is ¥42.3 purchased
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