Text/Mustard seed
Although the mustard seed is small, it can hide all things, pay attention to the mustard seed, and share the emotional story with you in the red dust of the world.
The Life of the Rejected Matsuko is a novel by Japanese writer Soki Yamada, first published in 2003. The novel adaptation of the film of the same name was also released in 2006, and the plot revolves around Matsuko's boring and thought-provoking life, outlining a beautiful and kind woman, at each stage of her life, making one choice after another, and her mood also fluctuates. Matsuko's eyes were full of hope, disappointment and even despair again and again, and then they could not burn again.
How people want to spend this life, many people have thought about this question, some people have found their own answers, and some people have been pursuing them all their lives. The search for pine nuts never stopped, but it seems that the answer has not been found.
Matsuko's love experience is like a "reincarnation" one by one, she holds the same wish, repeats similar paths, and gets almost the same results, which is called "fate" by many people, which has plagued Matsuko's life.
Like many people who are thinking in confusion, if Matsuko could stop, think about the first half of her life, and make some changes, maybe the ending would be very different.
Let's take a look at Matsuko's mental journey.
Since she was a child, Matsuko has felt that her father does not pay enough attention to her, and her sister is sick and weak, and she has received more love from her father, while ignoring Matsuko's expectations. Only when Matsuko makes a grimace, her father will show a smile, and since then, the grimace has become a sign of Matsuko's action, and she subconsciously believes that she who makes a grimace is the most adorable.
Matsuko's pursuit of her father's love has made her unable to find her own sense of existence since childhood, and she desperately tries to find her father's love for herself. She chose the school her father let her go to, the profession that his father let her do, but his father was still cold to her.
After Matsuko graduated, she became a teacher, but met a principal who had an intention for her, and Matsuko rejected the principal.
Matsuko is kind-hearted, she wants to help the problem student Yoichi, help him clarify the theft of money, and do not hesitate to steal the money of her colleagues, but she did not expect that after this matter was discovered, she became a scapegoat for Yoichi.
The principal took the opportunity to retaliate, Matsuko lost her job, and the first love who had a good feeling for each other was separated.
Matsuko left home, wandered outside, and when she was a waiter, she met the writer Hachiogawa and the two lived together. Writers' inspiration dried up, and they often beat Matsuko, who wanted to change jobs and help Hachinokawa. Matsuko, who did not want to be a bath girl, had to go back to her brother to borrow money, and accidentally learned that her father had died and her sister was crazy.
Hachiogawa could not find pine nuts and died under the train.
Matsuko lost her loved ones and lovers and was devastated. Matsuko's first relationship ended like this.
Hachiogawa's peer Okano appeared in Matsuko's life, and after forgetting the pain, Matsuko resolutely threw himself into Okano's arms, but he did not expect that he was married, and his purpose of approaching Matsuko was not simple, but to win over Hachinogawa once.
Matsuko was sad and disappointed, and went to the White Night Bath, under Akagi, became a bath girl, she was young and beautiful, and soon became a flower queen.
Akagi leaves the bathing area and invites Matsuko to leave with him, which is actually an opportunity for Matsuko to get rid of her life on the Kazezuki field. But she didn't make an appointment.
Onodera, a former friend of Akagi's, invites Matsuko to join him in starting a new stove, and she agrees. Onodera disappointed her again and again, so desperate that Matsuko killed Onodera.
So far, the three relationships have brought harm to Matsuko. She pinned her hopes on lovers, but none of them could really give her love.
She wants to commit suicide, but meets Shimazu, a barber, who takes in Matsuko. Matsuko, however, wants to escape because of her murder of Onodera and her addiction to drugs.
She finds Akagi, who wants to take her away, but she refuses. It was the second time, Matsuko could escape the chance, and she gave up again.
Back at Shimazu's house, Shimazu didn't ask much and proposed to her, perhaps this is the love Matsuko has been looking forward to, and she burst into tears. However, the police found her and she was sentenced to 8 years in prison for intentional homicide.
Shimazu promised to wait for her, and after 8 years in prison, she had a great time with Shimazu's love. Unexpectedly, when she was released from prison, Shimazu was already married and had children. Matsuko's love, once again dead. Matsuko's last relationship was with yoichi, a student at the time. Matsuko is no longer young, Yoshiichi is already a triad member, after Yoshiichi confessed, Matsuko hesitated for a moment and accepted the relationship.
But the result is still not as expected, Yoichi's underworld background makes his life full of uncertainty, he can not give Matsuko happiness, and drags Matsuko into the water.
In the end, Yoichi kills the principal who coveted Matsuko and goes to prison for 16 years, and Matsuko becomes pregnant, but does not save the child. Matsuko desperately lives alone and becomes a scruffy and obese middle-aged woman.
Looking at Matsuko's tragic life, it can be seen that the tangled points of Matsuko's life are all pursuing love.
When I was young, I wanted to get my father's love, and when I grew up, I wanted to get love. However, what she thinks may be wrong.
After being with Hachiogawa, she returned home and saw that her father had died, and before she died, she still remembered Matsuko, and she should understand that Matsuko's father did not love her, but just hid her feelings, she did not perceive it.
And the love she has always longed for, for the most part, is one-sided, and her response is mostly a lack of love and hunger.
When Hachiogawa met her, she was wandering outside, and when Okano was with her, she felt lonely after her trauma. Akagi was the straw of her despair. Onodera, on the other hand, has another plan, and her own purpose is not simple.
Shimazu is one of the few normal men Matsuko has met, and if it weren't for Matsuko killing people and going to jail, living peacefully with Shimazu might be a good choice.
Yoichi, however, was a stop to her reincarnation. Her reason for accepting Yoichi is also related to the lack of love, and she can no longer tell what love is.
Every relationship of Matsuko, she clung to, but that was just a kind of dependence.
However, Matsuko did not think about why her love path was so tortuous, and every time she met someone, she was not a good person.
Wu Zhihong mentioned in the book "The Body Knows the Answer" that the game of cracking thinking, Matsuko's thinking, has been repeating the same game, but also a cycle. She lacks fatherly love, so she has been looking for traces of love in others. She has low self-esteem and will accept it without hesitation when she encounters an opportunity, whether good or bad. Each time it is a rush to start a relationship, and it ends inexplicably and wonderfully.
In fact, she is gentle and kind, beautiful and generous, and deserves better people and a better life. If she can see through her own thinking code and exit the cycle early, then her life will not be so tragic.
The book "The Life of the Abandoned Pine Nuts" uses the seemingly tragic but realistic life of the pine nuts to bring enlightenment and thinking to people. In the life of Pine Nuts, there are thousands of people's shadows, they may not be as miserable as Pine Nuts, but in ordinary life, unhappy feelings, constantly wandering and reincarnation, can not jump out of the cycle, can not crack the thinking code, powerless to change, so that mediocre life.
I hope that everyone can look back at their own lives, perhaps we think that the depression and unhappiness, the encounters with non-people, are the result of their own thinking traps.
Jumping out of "samsara" and giving freedom to the soul is the first thing everyone needs to consider when they encounter pain.
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Thanks for reading, pay attention to the mustard seeds, and taste the emotional story with you in the red dust of the world.