"The Life of the Rejected Pine Nuts" was born as a human being, don't be sorry [01] [02] [03]

The overall feeling of this book to me is that it is depressed, and the female version of the human disqualification. This book is mainly about the tragic life of a woman. Matsuko was faced with the many choices of life and no one told her how to do it, and then she did not hesitate to seem to have made the wrong choice at every intersection, it was such a dramatic life, outsiders with God's perspective felt that she was simply incomprehensible, how she was so stupid, her life was too absurd, too failed. But if you can get close to Matsuko, get to know her, and then feel that everything she has done is excusable, she obviously does not give up hope and is serious. A lifetime of life.

Kawajiri, who enjoys university life in Tokyo, suddenly tells him one day that his aunt Matsuko, who has been missing for more than thirty years, has been killed. Sheng, who is in charge of sorting out his aunt's belongings, begins to investigate the cause of his aunt's death and learn about her aunt's life.

Matsuko grew up in a family that lacked her father's love, and Matsuko's sister, Jigami, was sad all day because of her illness, and she rarely smiled when she was at home. No matter how hard Matsuko tried, Matsuko felt even more sad when she found that her father's eyes were still only lying in the hospital room. For the first time, Matsuko discovered that For her father, Jigme was more important than herself.

Matsuko has been studying hard since she was a child, believing that as long as she can get good grades in school, she can win her father's favor, get her father's praise, and win her father's approval, which is Matsuko's biggest motivation. Matsuko felt that only by striving to become the ideal daughter in her father's eyes could she snatch her father back from Jigme's side. Therefore, when she went to college, Matsuko took the literature department according to her father's expectations. After graduation, he also followed his father's advice and became a teacher in a middle school not far from home.

After the theft occurred in the gift shop near the school, it was later confirmed that the student Ryu Yoichi had left the table at dinner, and Matsuko believed that Ryu Yoichi had stolen it, but Ryu Yoichi refused to apologize to the gift shop.

She was worried that the dean would report this to the principal, whether she would hold herself responsible as a class teacher, what other teachers would think of her, and she hoped that other teachers would think that she was a young and excellent teacher who thought of her students.

So Matsuko decided to take her money back to the gift shop, but the gift shop owner did not accept this way, the boss believes that the school is to educate students to admit mistakes, should let students take the initiative to admit mistakes. Matsuko had no choice but to say that she stole it herself.

Later, in order to hide her sin of stealing money, matsuko found a student to replace the news spread at the school. Everyone ignored the pine nuts, and no one believed the pine nuts.

Matsuko angrily returns home, packs her bags and prepares to run away from home, Kumi stops Matsuko, Matsuko sees her sister and thinks that everything today is because of her, all blame her!

Matsuko almost missed her hand and strangled her sister.

After Matsuko quit and left home, she met five men in her life.

1. In the first year of leaving home, Matsuko and Hachiya Kawatoshi, who wanted to become a writer, also lived together and were abused. In the same year, Che also committed suicide by jumping off the rails.

2. On the night of Tetsuya's death, Matsuko had an extramarital affair with Tetsuya's friend Okano, and Matsuko followed Kano to The Okano family, because she was more beautiful than the hostess and was complacent, and was later recognized by his wife, and Okano did not hesitate to choose his wife.

3. The poor pine nuts became a Turkish bath girl in Zhongzhou, with the stage name Xuenai, becoming the number one red card in the store. He was persuaded by Onodera to move to Yukoto, Shiga Prefecture, and continued to work as a Turkish bath girl, during which he was exposed to drugs, and finally betrayed by Onodera, killed Onodera and fled to Tamagawa Shangshui.

4. When Tamagawa Shangshui and the barber Kenji Shimazu live together, and the two decide to get married, Matsuko is arrested for murder. After serving 8 years in prison, he obtained a hairdresser's license while in prison, and after his release from prison, he found that the barber Kenji Shimazu was married and had children.

5. Meet Long Yangyi, a student of the former theft case, and live together. Later, he was arrested for joining the gang and selling drugs. Matsuko was released a year later, during which in order not to disappoint Ryu Yoshiichi, who was released from prison after 3 years, Matsuko insisted on exercising every day to maintain his life. He was followed by Long Yang, who was released from prison, and met again. Dragon was arrested again and imprisoned. In the same year, he quit his job.

6, after losing Long Yangyi's pine nuts, life is like a sugar cube soaked in water, completely collapsed. Live a life of solitude in a state of stagnation. The figure also began to gain weight. Later, Matsuko decided to do a good job of believing in love for the last time, to pick up business cards, and start a new life for the last time, but unfortunately she was killed by three college boys and two underage girls.

At this point, Matsuko's tragic, abandoned but never given up life came to an end.

Matsuko has been living for the five men around her since she was fired and left home. In order to get the love of her lover, she listens to her lover and lets her become a prostitute and begins to sell her body; with her lover's friend, she is willing to become a mistress; her requirement for the opposite sex is to always be with herself, although the other party beats her and scolds her and betrays her, there is no bottom line principle. Believe in men again and again, rely on men, become teachers, odd jobs, bath women, drug addiction, murder, go to jail, barber, take drugs, go to jail again, lose your job, step by step into the abyss, and finally die alone in a rental house.

And the family who really care about Matsuko, but also because of Matsuko's dismissal and departure from home, indirectly led to the death of her father, the disorder of her mother, the collapse of her sister, the heavy pressure of her brother, Matsuko has always felt that her father favors her sister, but after Matsuko left home, her father has been looking for her. These people are the relatives who love her the most and care about her the most, but they are hurt the most by her.

Matsuko has lived for others all her life, and when she read this book, she obviously had many opportunities to re-plan her life, but each time she seemed to have made the wrong choice. "I dream of becoming a white swan in a fairy tale, but I don't know where the gears are wrong, and I wake up to find that I have become a black-pressed crow."

She is not a pine nut who has been rejected, but a pine nut that has always believed in love, and she has done the last time to believe in love at the end of her life, but she is sad to die. Matsuko's life is not abandoned or boring, she is knocked down by the absurdity of life again and again, but she can still stand up again and again. She has bravely loved and been loved. Brilliant and decayed.