The first book I read in 2019 was The Life of the Rejected Pine Nuts.
When I closed the book, I couldn't help but spit out two words in my heart: "Deserved."
Ming Ming caught a good card in life: born in a well-off family, received higher education, has a respected job, and her appearance is still online, but she is beaten up by herself.
But if you taste it and chew it for a while, you will have a new judgment: the pine nuts are really pitiful.
Behind those impulsive, stupid, unbelievable actions, there is something to do with the love that has not been satisfied.
1 The tragedy of pine nuts stems from a small matter
She and several other teachers had an accident while taking the students on a school trip. Inside the hotel where they stayed, a shop, the safe was stolen, and the owner suspected that it was the student who had done it.
So the teachers met to discuss what to do, and they decided to check each student.
However, large-scale investigation, time-consuming and labor-intensive, the impact is too large, and one of the students, the suspicion is relatively large, as long as it can be determined that he is the one, things are easy to handle.
The teachers placed the object of suspicion on the body of Ryu Yoshiichi in Matsuko's class. Long Yangyi was usually a bad deed, and the teachers suspected him, which was also a matter of course.
As a class teacher, Matsuko felt that her face was dull, and in order to save face, even if she was suspicious of Ryu Yoichi, she still boasted in front of her colleagues and leaders, saying that she believed her students.
Matsuko privately asked his student Long Yangyi for verification, but Long Yangyi did not admit to stealing.
In order to settle the matter, Matsuko, as a new teacher, is ready to compensate the boss with her own money, hoping that the boss will not pursue it again. But things are not as simple as she imagined, the boss not only wants students to repay the theft, but also asks students to apologize in person, otherwise they will call the police.
In order not to expand the situation, Matsuko had no choice but to lie that the money was stolen by herself.
What's even more stupid is that she took the money of a colleague in the same room privately in order to advance money for the students.
The innkeeper eventually informed the school of the incident, and Matsuko was expelled from the school as a thief.
Since then, her fate has begun to sink irrepressibly.
2 "flattering" personality, making her lose her IQ
Seeing this, everyone may be like me, thinking that pine nuts are incredibly stupid.
As a talented woman who graduated from a national university, why is she so naïve?
Why be blackmailed for students?
I think it's really because Matsuko values the eyes of others too much.
She wants her colleagues and leaders to think of her as a kind, responsible, capable, and good teacher who thinks about her students.
Even if he doubted the students in his heart, he still saved his students in front of his colleagues;
Even if you don't have the ability to handle this matter well, you must resolutely refuse the help of your colleagues and force yourself.
So why does she care so much about other people's eyes, even "punching a swollen face and making a fat person"?
Life experience has taught her that only if she is good enough, she deserves praise and love.
Growing up, in order to get the praise and approval of her father, Matsuko did her best.
Her father liked children with good grades, so she studied hard to make herself one of the best; her father wanted her to go home and become a teacher, so she gave up her real favorite profession and became a teacher at a middle school in her hometown.
So hard, her father's love for her, is also very limited (at least she herself thinks so).
When she told her sister, who was bedridden for many years, about her upcoming date with the man she loved, her sister was sincerely happy for her, but her father severely reprimanded her, why not understand the mood of her sick sister, and show off her happiness in front of her long-sick sister.
When she tried to repay the money she had taken from her colleagues, she asked her father, mother, and brother to borrow money, but they all refused to accept her.
So the East Window incident occurred, and she had to go home and hurriedly pack up her bags and flee to Tokyo, where no one knew.
At her side, there is no strong foreign aid, and there is no one who trusts and cares for her, and when she can no longer win the love and kindness of the people around her by "currying favor", she has to slip away in ashes.
3 The second half of life
Before it was even too late to taste the grievances in his heart, Matsuko threw herself into another "flattering" relationship.
While working as a waitress in Tokyo, she met a down-and-out talent.
She endured his violence, endured his arrogance, and even went to the prostitutes to make a living for him.
Even a talented friend couldn't understand that such a beautiful, intelligent young woman would be in such a bad position in this relationship.
Caizi committed suicide.
Matsuko became someone else's mistress and was ruthlessly abandoned.
She gave herself up and became a real prostitute.
With strict self-discipline, a beautiful face, and professional service, she became a red card; she was immediately targeted by another man, and then began to fall into another relationship of pampering and flattery.
She still gave everything for this man, and instead of getting the love and warmth she wanted, the man squandered her selling money to another woman.
She couldn't bear it, killed the man, and threw herself into prison.
After being released from prison, she met the student who had killed her many years ago, Long Yangyi.
As a result, they live together with the students again.
In this relationship, she still gets violence, cheating.
Throughout his life, Matsuko has been "currying favor" with others. When you are young, you please your father and mother; when you are an adult, you please men.
To this end, she does not hesitate to give everything: talent, body, money, self-esteem...
And what comes is a life of abandonment.
4 Pine nuts give us a wake-up call
As an individual, it is extremely wrong to want to shape your own value by pleasing and getting the approval of others. To please others, it is better to please yourself, give yourself more time to exercise, time to study, time to struggle, time to rest, time to enjoy... so that they will not be rejected by themselves and others;
As a parent, when raising children, you must not be too strict, nor too partial, and when your children are in difficulty, you must lend a helping hand and not fall into the well;
As a woman, we must resolutely say no to men who are violent, deceitful, have good and bad work, and have bad conduct.