About the reason why I got up too early in the morning, I took a nap behind the house, looked at the time, and at 1:40, turned over in a daze, and fell asleep again.
In my sleep, I was talking to a man, and when I was about ten years old, I pointed to an empty space in front of me and said, "When I have money, I will dispose of the foundation of this land, and in a few years, when my children grow up, I will build a house here and marry him a daughter-in-law." The man in the dream did not speak, and clearly remembered that after I finished speaking alone, I rode on a very high bench and happily circled around the clearing, and woke myself up like this.
A person in bed silently crying, unable to say in his heart whether it is uncomfortable, wronged, helpless, or missed... I knew that I must have dreamed of my mother, of my mother, who had been away from me for 563 days, and that my mother must have missed me there, so she would come to see me in the afternoon when I was alone.
Struggling to get out of bed, washed his face, and sat down at his desk, thinking that he had been panicking for many days without thinking about his mother properly. Don't remember the words of thinking about your mother in this time, here and now, this pen, this book...
I remember the one on the bank of the West River with only one house, a kitchen made of bricks. At that time, the family was very poor, because of poverty, my father and mother were often angry for their livelihood, and I also had a bumpy and wandering life, and the childhood in my memory did not seem to have much joy, and some of them were just snuggled up next to my grandmother to listen to her talk about the old scriptures...
Then I grew up slowly, and my parents built our current home. It was a winter of snowflakes, and because the materials used to build the house were dragged out again and again, they were built for a long time, and when I was on the girder, I took the coins I had saved for a long time, and I still wrapped it in red cloth on the girder, when I was not yet seven years old.
Later, slowly the situation improved, and life was relatively stable. The mother was alone in the house with housework and farm work. Later, my second brother and younger sister and I grew up one after another, and slowly became a family and established a business, until the sudden departure of my mother on March 23, 2020, many memories seemed to be frozen at that moment...
Nowadays, in middle age, people often feel very stressed, and the feeling of inadequacy will occur from time to time. When my mother was alive, I felt in my heart that no matter what time I had, as long as I had a mother, I had a place to rely on, a place where I could take shelter from the wind and rain...
Life is still moving forward, bitter or tired, for their own sake, for the sake of the family, for the sake of their three children, and even more for the mother who is far away from the world to live there with peace of mind, wipe away the tears, and continue to move forward.
