Text | muye · Sound | Zhi Han
When people reach middle age, they encounter more and more people, but the circle is getting smaller and smaller.
Friends who once had a long conversation and said nothing eventually disappeared into the sea of people, which inevitably made people sad.
But I recently read Jia Pingwa's book and saw a sentence that suddenly felt a little relieved:
"It's actually a good thing to be separated from your friends."
When people reach middle age, there are fewer friends, which actually means that you have found the center of gravity of your life.
There are fewer liquor stores, but life is better
Zhihu blogger @Jingfeng Paper Iris shared a personal experience.
Every morning at six o'clock, bloggers will get up and drive their wives to work, and then go to work themselves.
Because he likes to write, after work at night, he will hide in his room, write on major websites, or take a few commercial copywriting to earn some extra money.
In fact, his daytime work income is not very low, even if he does not write part-time, his life will still go on.
But bloggers say that when you have people you want to protect, you always want to do your best to give them the best.
The people the blogger wants to protect the most are his family.
He did not want his parents to be sick, afraid to spend money, and did not dare to tell him;
He also hopes that through hard work, children will be sent to better schools and children will receive better education.
The blogger's last words touched me deeply:
"I also want to go drinking and chatting with my friends and not returning all night, but I don't have the time, I have to do things."
I still silently wish for my friend's happiness and applaud my friend's success in my heart.
But there are people waiting for me at home, and those friends who have been scattered will not be far away. I'm sorry. ”
Halfway down the slope of life, you will eventually understand that your family is more important than anyone else.
A responsible and responsible middle-aged man is definitely not drunk in the liquor bureau every day and wakes up at home.
Instead, it is to reduce socializing as much as possible and accompany the family.
Lin Yutang said: "A happy life is nothing more than four things: one is to sleep in your own bed; the second is to eat the dishes made by your parents; the third is to listen to your lover's love words; and the fourth is to play games with your children." ”
Fewer friends, fewer liquor stores, family sitting idle, and amiable lights are the greatest happiness in the world.
Fewer friends, but better relationships
There is a study in psychology that concludes that people go to the end of their lives and leave no more than 10 friends around.
But in real life, we pour a lot of time into useless social interactions.
In middle age, you should understand that it is enough to have three or five friends in this life who can dig up their hearts.
When I was in college, I found out that my father didn't actually have many friends.
Every time we party, drink and chat, go out fishing, and brag and play cards, it's those few people.
At that time, I especially liked to make friends, and I would meet a new friend every three to five years.
Therefore, I was full of disdain for my father, always felt that his circle was too narrow, and he stayed with the same few people every day, and life was too boring.
Until one time, something happened unexpectedly at home and money was needed.
Several uncles who had a good time with their father on weekdays, although they did not have a lot of money, took the initiative to lend money to their father.
It was after that I suddenly understood that although my father did not have many friends, each friend relationship was iron enough.
I believe that when my father was young, he was like me, surrounded by many friends, but these friends were like fallen leaves in autumn, and as soon as the wind blew, they drifted away.
People reach middle age, face the dual pressure of work and family, and have limited energy.
It is not a bad thing that the circle becomes smaller, and you can use limited energy to maintain your own small circle.
Actor Shen Teng once said:
"Friends after the age of 20 need to take the time to understand. After the precipitation of time, friends who can leave five numbers are already winners in life. ”
After middle age, friends want quality, not quantity.
Although the circle is small, it is good to be sincere.
The world is quieter, but people are more mature
There is an issue in The Round Table about solitude, mentioning Einstein.
Einstein had a small problem that even his wife couldn't stand.
He often greeted and did not call, and would disappear from the house for a few days for no reason, and no one could find him.
Where did he go after he left home?
It could be lying on the grass staring at the stars in the night sky, or it could be a boat on the lake, thinking about his physics problems.
In short, every once in a while, Einstein needed this kind of solitude of his own.
Finally, the host Dou Wentao said:
"Being alone makes you great. Many of the great achievements in history have been conceived in this moment of solitude. ”
When you are young, you like the lights and wine, like the hustle and bustle, and when people reach middle age, they enjoy the quiet of being alone.
Chen Daoming said in the "Interview with Yang Lan" that he hates socializing and likes to be alone.
I'd rather sit in a chair and read a book quietly than go out to meet a lot of people.
In the process of being alone, whether it is reading a book or practicing the piano, it can make him get physical and mental pleasure.
Qian Zhongshu once said: "The prosperity outside the door is not my prosperity." ”
Loneliness is frustrating, quiet makes people heavy, because loneliness is to bear, quiet is the choice.
When people reach middle age, they see the many holes in life and are more willing to choose quiet and enjoy loneliness.
Yu Hua wrote in "Shouting in the Drizzle":
"I no longer pretended to have a lot of friends, but returned to loneliness and began to live alone with the real me."
The world goes from hustle and bustle to quiet, and learning to get along with yourself is a compulsory course in life.
Being alone is a sign of a person's true maturity.
Hayao Miyazaki said:
"Life is a train to the grave, there will be many stations along the way, it is difficult for anyone to accompany the whole journey from beginning to end. When your companion is about to get off the bus, you should be grateful even if you don't give up, and then wave goodbye. ”
In middle age, life is like a station, but there are fewer waiting and more parting.
Thank those who have been in your life and have enriched your life.
You should be more thankful to yourself, because you are your world and you are the warmth of your family.
Point in the watch, prefer to be alone, rather than strong;
It is better to be alone than to go against your heart.
Author: Insight Muye
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