01
Is having children a woman's business alone? Especially for "couples who have been married for many years without children".
I also have couples around me who have been married for many years without children, and it is not that they do not want to have children, but they are not so easy to conceive. During their marriage, both of them also wanted children, so both went for a physical examination and then the doctor advised them to do whatever they wanted. Men can quit drinking and exercise more in order to have children, and women can also adjust their bodies more in order to have children.
In order to be able to get pregnant and have a healthy child, the couple can't do anything excessive.
I remember when I was just pregnant, because I thought about it carefully and felt like my husband had been drinking, and my husband was particularly alert, asking the doctor when I first went to Jianka, "It seems that it doesn't matter if I drank that day." This type of man treats a woman's pregnancy as their own business, not a woman's business alone.
The young couple is also good to say, for Wei Wei and Tong Chenjie, if they really want children, Wei Wei must quit drinking and go to check the body, this is for the sake of the child' consideration, but also the performance of being responsible for the child, but you see Wei Wei's behavior, just like him, is he worthy of being a father?
A man without self-control, a man who has not yet grown up in his 40s, a drunkard, worthy of being a father?
Why doesn't Tong Chenjie want to have children?
On the one hand, the influence of her original family, she grew up in a single-parent family, she has no father love since she was a child, so she is afraid that things on her body will be staged in her children, she is insecure;
On the other hand, because her husband Wei Wei is like a child, Wei Wei has no self-control, especially loves to drink, and is very emotional. A man like Wei Wei is so irresponsible, will he be good to his children in the future?
Tong Chenjie is already 40 years old, it is not so easy to have a child herself, and Wei Wei does not bear it with her, how can she have a child?
Wei Wei is not young, 38 years old, but do you see him, mature?
In the latest episode of "Goodbye Lover", the two mothers traveled thousands of miles to Xinjiang to find them, asking them how they got along during this time, whether they found an answer, but the most critical thing is to promote it. They all only cared to persuade Tong Chenjie, as if giving birth to a child was a matter for Tong Chenjie alone, and was it Tong Chenjie who wanted to give birth to a child? It's that simple.
As soon as the mother-in-law came up, she asked: "I especially want to know, why don't you have children, is there a problem with your body, or is there a problem with your subjective consciousness?" ”
Why don't you ask your son, is it likely that it is the cause of your son's body? So alcoholism, maybe the body has been drunk early, and it can't be born.
It's as if the woman who gave birth to the child decided to give birth, please, but also the man's own Jingzi line, like those Jingzi congenitally weak, women just want to give birth again, no matter how good the body is, there is no way.
The mother-in-law aimed all the spearhead at Tong Chenjie, and her son Wei Wei was originally sitting with Tong Chenjie, and when it came to the topic of having children, she deliberately sat on the sofa next to her and stayed out of the matter.
Tong Chenjie is still very calm, and she is not affected by Wei Wei, she said that having children is not an obligation, but a choice.
She said that Wei Wei's drinking, you know, I don't want my children to be just such a family environment with my grandmother or grandmother in the future, I grew up with Wei Wei, in fact, my father is relatively light and less, I am more afraid, I don't want my children to be like us in the future.
The mother-in-law also continued to persuade that Wei Wei, who had a child, could definitely assume the responsibility of a father.
Tong Chenjie said, the last time we climbed to the heart-shaped bridge, Wei Wei shouted, "Tong Chenjie, I will drink again in the future, can you let me drink enough." Wei Wei originally said that he didn't drink alcohol, but he had been drinking for so many days, and he also lied and said, "I didn't drink."
Wei Wei was not aware of his mistake at all.
I can especially understand Tong Chenjie's concerns, if there is another child out, Wei Wei still drinks all day long and then emotionally, Tong Chenjie has to work and take care of the child when she is older, then the child grows up in such an environment, will the child be like her again.
Tong Chenjie was afraid, afraid that her experience as a child would be staged in her own children.
A less happy mother who is anxious and has no time to take care of, a father who often drinks all night and is emotionally unstable, is such a family environment good for children?
In addition to her mother-in-law, Tong Chenjie's mother also aimed the spearhead at Tong Chenjie, and they all felt that as long as Tong Chenjie was born to have a child, it had nothing to do with Wei Wei, but who was "sowing"? Men themselves do not make up their minds to quit drinking, do not change themselves, light women decide to give birth to what is the use?
02
I dare say that if Wei Wei can make up his mind to do it and is willing to change himself, Tong Chenjie will also agree to have a child. Wei Wei don't let people urge, he first quit drinking, and then often do exercise, take the initiative to check the body, take more responsibility in daily life, take more care of Tong Chenjie, when Tong Chenjie sees "solid, reliable, and responsible" in Wei Wei, will she not have children?
Why hasn't Tong Chenjie been cured after being married for so long?
Because Wei Wei himself is not a man who can give people to rely on.
Just after the mothers of both sides came and talked to them, it was already so late, Wei Wei's alcohol addiction came up again. Wei Wei still did not heed the advice to buy a lot of wine, and then returned to the hotel to let the staff accompany him to drink, and drank until three o'clock in the morning.
Coming out to record programs like this, you can imagine what Wei Wei is like in life.
Wei Wei is addicted to drinking, and people who drink regularly will find that they can't control themselves and lose their temper easily. Wei Wei is like this, as soon as he drinks, he is easy to be irritable, if you don't let him drink, he will be more irritable, as if wine is his antidote.
Tong Chenjie's temper is really good, but also very decent, so late out to find him, found that he drank and did not get angry, but also had to accompany, what woman can be as generous and tolerant as Tong Chenjie?
Teacher Ni Ping once said to the point that the problem between the two of them, violent temper and drinking are enough to ruin the marriage! Many people who drink and lose their temper may think that this is nothing to fuss about, just as Wei Wei did not feel that there was anything big wrong with his marriage. Not thinking that there is a problem is precisely the biggest problem.
If a person is unaware of the lethal destructive power of alcohol and violent temper, it means that the person is incurable. Because alcohol and temper tantrums can not only destroy marital feelings, but also easily destroy a person's life. A person who does not and does not want to know and introspect himself, but only wants to borrow wine to escape from venting his emotions, it is difficult to harvest a good life.
Why does Wei Wei like to drink so much, that is, he thinks that drinking can vent his emotions, but is drinking really the antidote? Drinking alcohol is just making you uncomfortable, not good.
Wei Wei was already an alcoholic, not simply drinking.
He always changed in front of Tong Chenjie, challenging Tong Chenjie's bottom line again and again.
To be honest, Wei Wei really does not deserve Tong Chenjie, don't look at Tong Chenjie as a second marriage, but Wei Wei is like a "can't afford it".
03
Women must not look for a husband like Wei Wei, you will be very painful, you will be very weak. That is to say, Tong Chenjie has a good temper and high emotional intelligence, and can adapt herself well, which is an ordinary person, and if she does not divorce, she will be driven crazy.
When the mother-in-law and mother-in-law gave birth to Tong Chenjie, but whenever Wei Wei could take the initiative to speak, saying that he was determined to change, and then also took action, I think Tong Chenjie would not be so cold. Wei Wei's series of actions were too chilling. Again and again, the accumulation is disappointment.
Having children has never been a matter for women alone, and men also have to have snacks.
Don't blame the woman for having children, stay out of it yourself.
Finally, to tell the truth, I want to say to Tong Chenjie, if Wei Wei is still like this, leave it early, he really does not deserve your good. I still hope that Tong Chenjie can be happy and really appreciate women like her.
Today's topic: Will Wei Wei and Tong Chenjie divorce? Is having children a woman's own business? Welcome to leave a message.
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★ Author: YIBAO; emotional original author, writing about the warm emotional affairs of this world.