How is a ten-year-old boy's sex drive guided, transformed, and sublimated?

In real life, many parents have begun to awaken to the sex education of adolescents, and they also think that sex education is imminent, but they are specific to themselves, but they do not know how to talk to their children about sex, and they always feel that it is difficult to talk about, or impossible to talk about. From this point of view, it can also be seen that the parents themselves still have some sexual shame, and some anxiety arises because of shame.

Freud said that how to educate children about sex, the key is not how you educate, but in your own attitude, if your attitude to sex is calm, then the child will naturally face this problem calmly, other methods and techniques, etc. are not too important, or it is a matter of pushing the boat, and vice versa.

Recently, I happened to see a movie, which shows very well how parents come out of sexual shame and guide and educate their children, because in real life, few parents turn to psychological counseling because of their children's sex education problems, so they can only use the example of the movie to analyze and illustrate.

The film is an old British film from 1999 called "British April Day" and the English name is also called "My Life So Far". It is the story of a father and son falling in love with a woman at the same time, and in the course of this story, we can see what Freud often said about the Oedipus complex and the transcendence of the Oedipus complex, as well as how the repressed Libido caused the child to fall ill and how it was continued to be released.

The father-son relationship in the movie was originally intimate, and the boy always felt that his father was a genius, inventor, hero, omniscient, omnipotent, until the arrival of the young and beautiful aunt broke this intimacy. The young and beautiful aunt is an artistic cellist, which makes the father and boy who have been living in the countryside bright and excited.

The aunt liked the boy very much, played with him, and hooked up with him, kissed him on the cheek, such physical contact made the boy have a strange and fresh excitement about the opposite sex, this excitement is the initial sexual excitement, this sexual excitement makes the child begin to be interested in women, and begin to question the father, dissatisfied that the father always uses vague words to explain his questions. Fortunately, Grandpa left a large number of books, so the boy sneaked into the study and began to look for answers from the books. His answer lies in a book full of female nudity, he looked at this female nude book day and night, and understood that Grandpa had grown up in this way, and his father, who may not have read these books, so he did not understand what was going on, and at this point, the boy thought he was smarter than his father. The father is no longer omnipotent, this gives the child the space and opportunity to grow. This is the transcendence of the Oedipus complex, a kind of growth. During the period of spending time with his aunt and peeking at nude paintings, the boy appeared for the first time, and the father was torn apart in the process of explaining to the child, which, like many parents, was the child, calmly and accurately describing the feeling of the sperm: "Like volcanic lava, flowing out from the depths of the body." ”

At the same time, the father also feels the child's love for his aunt, at this time, the boy in the father's subconscious, becomes a competitor, becomes an adult male who competes with him for love. Because of this, the father belittled and humiliated the boy in front of the aunt, and also because the aunt kissed the boy and was jealous, and also asked the aunt to kiss himself like a boy. The boy bumped into such a scene, although the conscious level did not know what was going on, but the subconscious level of the sense of order was disrupted, so he fell ill, in the form of pneumonia. This explanation, in terms of Freud's Libido theory, is that the libido of the boy's love affair was suppressed by the father and had nowhere to be released, resulting in stasis, which was manifested in the form of a "disease" to a certain extent.

The climax of the story is that the father's love for his aunt is vented in public, that is, the father's repressed Libido is vented. Although this led to the parents' marriage once in jeopardy, but with the efforts of both parties, the two reconciled and continued to return to the previous family life. At the same time, the boy's Libido continued to be released, and during an outing of his parents and siblings, the boy stayed alone in the study, leaning against the fireplace, sitting on the sofa, crossing His legs, flipping through nude books while learning to smoke cigars. His father, who had been frantically looking for him, pushed open the door to see this scene, calmed down from the state of wanting to be angry, and finally gently covered the door with a smile. There is no dialogue in this process, but in this way, the father expresses the understanding and tolerance of the boy's adolescent sexual impulses, and it is in this understanding and tolerance that the child's libido can continue to be released and the growth can proceed smoothly.

Why did my father have such a change? Perhaps from the process of falling in love with his aunt with the boy, he also personally experienced the process of Libido from repression to release, and thus had a real empathetic understanding and respect for the boy.

Therefore, in this adolescent sexual impulse growth process, it is not only boys, but also fathers who grow.

In the end, the boy fell in love with jazz because of the object of sexual fantasy, his aunt, and thus fell in love with jazz, which is a transformation and sublimation of Libido.