Text | Cheng Qi
It was the middle of summer again, and looking out the window at the lush foliage, I suddenly remembered that when I was young, I had heard a story about the youth of a young boy, so I took up my pen and wrote this. As if the moment I picked up the pen, I seemed to be himself.
I don't know exactly when the sky turned black, my eyes became springs, my heart became fragments, scattered to the ground piece after piece, unable to piece together, let alone recover. My memory also seems to be rapidly degenerating, blurred, and the only thing I can remember is you, and only you.
I wrote down this like a flow of water, but the ink color faded, and I could not write the future to look forward to, nor could I write about debauchery. So I ran to the mountains and seas all my life, stained with mountain maple forests, stained with salty sea center, and wrote down this like water flowing year. The world is not only full of sadness in front of me, but also poetry and flowers waiting for me in the future!
When I was an ignorant teenager and watched others struggle hard for their studies and their lives, I felt uncomfortable and uncomfortable. As I watched others come toward me with hope and love, I had nothing more to do but resist and avoid powerlessly. I hate, I'm jealous.
I hate why the person I love the most left me so early; I envy why other people can be ordinary teenagers, but I have prematurely the sadness and helplessness of children who do not belong to my age. I vividly remember in my mind the pain you looked like when you were sick, I couldn't save you, and the level of medical care was limited at that time.
I gradually became a strange person: I was always complaining about the injustice of god and the indisputable anger of my relatives; I was afraid of the sympathetic eyes of my classmates, so I hid in a corner where no one noticed every day and secretly cried. At that moment, I completely broke down.
I never thought that one day you would leave me and not be with me. Many things I had even thought about and planned to do with you before, but now I could only seem so cold and pitiful that it became a letter to you:
It's your 365th day away from me, exactly a whole year, no more and no less, just like it's said in love. I don't know how many times I've cried. I wrote this letter purely to tell you, do you know how stupid you are? The great world has been waiting for you, but you are so anxious to see what heaven looks like, you have to leave me alone.
I want to ride the Ferris wheel with you once. The colorful wheels look particularly good, and when the wheels rise to the top, they can help each other make a wish. When you peek at me, you will never know that my wish is your wish, and I hope that your wish must be fulfilled.
I want to sit quietly with you by the sea all day, doing nothing, just looking at the endless sea in front of me. The breeze blows, and you suddenly smile and say to me, "I'm a little cold." "So, like a mature gentleman, I immediately took off my coat and draped it on you in a domineering manner. You said to me coldly, "Boy, you're a little precocious." I smiled triumphantly.
I want to go with you to the bazaars of every city, because you always tell me that the things in the bazaars are cheap and affordable, but you are actually more because of the price. Such a you makes me a little sad, a little sad, I will work hard to earn money, next time directly let you become the daughter of the god of wealth.
I want to go to Provence with you, to see the purple lavender, to see how the flowers are made into perfume, and there will be unexpected harvests. I want to go with you...
There are so many places I want to go with you, and all the beautiful places have not had time to go, and you are no longer with me. Why should I leave many regrets in my heart, this regret after another that cannot be eliminated, this day and day of sad and painful emotions are constantly superimposed, I can only wash my face with tears.
You can never imagine the weight of a teenager's sad tears, never imagine what I am now, because that is the past that even I don't know.
Walking down the bustling streets, I fantasize that I may be able to see you again. I searched through every crevice of the crowd, I searched in the flickering lights, and I never found it. Maybe one day, when I really grow up, you will be willing to meet me.
So, I ran to a special place to make a wish and made the first wish of my life (from birth to now, I have never had a birthday for various reasons): I hope that one night when I grow up, I can dream of you, let me see you again, even if it is just a glance, I will live well and help more people!
This was once a boy's most painful experience, and the brightest sorrow of youth. I hope that all the people in youth who have pain can slowly come out. Remember, youth is always the deepest and sunniest, and even the biggest injury will eventually heal the day!