TV series "If the years can look back" to see the stills, but also thought it was a love inspirational drama, did not expect to be a real marriage drama, the three families in the play encountered problems one by one more tragic, but the most resonant is Bai Zhiyong (Jin Dong) and Jing Ya (Zuo Xiaoqing) this family. The love-hate entanglement and marriage problems between the two of them are really quite common, and many families have them.
<h1 class="pgc-h-arrow-right" >01. </h1>
Bai Zhiyong and Jingya were originally the most beautiful couple, both of them were each other's first love, married for 12 years, deep feelings, so since his wife Jing Yati divorced, Bai Zhiyong has been messing with Jing Ya, he does not understand why a good wife suddenly has to divorce, his wife's attitude towards him has changed greatly, so that he has never been able to figure it out.
The wife said: "After so many years, you only know how to play all day, I can't sleep every night, my body hurts, my heart hurts, have you ever asked?" Ever cared about it once? ”
But Bai Zhiyong still did not understand: "You said that you can't stand that I love to play, but I have always loved to play like this before, you can accept it before, why can't you suddenly accept it now?" ”
Bai Zhiyong loves to play, often playing cards at night and not returning home, according to his logic: you can tolerate me before, and now for this divorce, it is too much of a fuss.
This kind of thinking is actually a lot of men have, love to play they do not feel that they are wrong, but feel that women have become picky, temperamental, they think I have no bad habits, is not like to play a card, play a game, you as far as?
Her friend Xiao Rong has a similar experience, her contradictions with her husband, carefully speaking, are small things, but one by one they all sting her heart.
Once, Xiao Rong came home from work, went to the door and found that she did not bring the key, she knew that her husband had come home, so she called her husband to let him open the door, but her husband was playing a game, saying that he was at a critical time, let her wait for a while, and as a result, Xiao Rong waited at the door for 15 minutes before her husband came to open the door. Xiao Rong was very angry, but her husband felt that this was not a big deal.
Many times, women's hearts are gradually broken by the small things and habits in the eyes of these men.
<h1 class= "pgc-h-arrow-right" >02. The husband's indifference often hurts the invisible, and the wife cannot say that she is bitter</h1>
It turns out that Jingya's divorce was right, because her husband could not understand her, let alone feel that he had a problem. For a self-righteous man like Bai Zhiyong, if he hadn't suffered a huge blow to make him think through, it would be difficult for him to realize his own problems.
After the divorce, Bai Zhiyong lived an arbitrary life, acted righteously, and played games with friends all day long, trying to prove himself with a new life, but the truth is that according to his consistent logic, he and his friends have been repeatedly frustrated. The encounter of his friend also gave him a new understanding of life.
For a long time, other people have their own lives, only he can't find a job, he can't find a love, he can't even eat money, he feels lonely, and gradually realizes his problems, especially after determining that he has feelings for Jiang Xiaomei, he begins to be afraid to face new feelings, begins to perceive that his ex-wife is wrong, and begins to want to completely figure out the doubts in his heart.
At his insistence, his ex-wife told him the truth: because of his consistent all-night card playing and his indifference to his wife, his wife, who had to go home late at night, was sexually assaulted.
The wife has such a thing, even after seeing a psychologist for several years, but the husband who lives together every day does not realize how careless it is. It is hard to imagine a husband being careless to this point, what is the difference between this and a stranger?
In reality, there are really many such men, the aforementioned friend Xiao Rong, every time she hears her colleagues say that her husband sends them things, picks them up from work and so on, she feels very lost, because her husband will never do that to her. Whether it is overtime, or there is an activity at a departmental dinner, no matter how late it is, her husband will not come to pick her up, because at that time he is mostly playing games.
What are such men going to say, are they bad? According to the world's vision, there is no domestic violence, no cheating, and no bad habits, but it is normal to love to play a little. But such behavior often hurts people invisibly, hurts people's hearts, and the wife can't say anything about suffering. If Jing Ya had not accidentally happened to such a thing, their marriage and mode of getting along would still continue as usual.
<h1 class = "pgc-h-arrow-right" >03. Men and women think differently, and there should be more frank communication in marriage</h1>
Bai Zhiyong, who understood the truth, was devastated and somewhat collapsed, both self-reproach for himself and guilt for his wife, seeing his low state, his wife comforted him, and also asked his friends to care more about him, saying that he was actually more vulnerable than himself, afraid that he could not bear it.
This wife is really too reasonable and understanding. The victim who suffered a physical and mental blow in turn comforted the initiator, fortunately Bai Zhiyong was still a conscience, understood his problems and intentions, turned back to pursue his wife again, and the two broke the mirror and reunited.
In fact, the two still have each other in their hearts, but there are too many things happening in the middle, so that there are many obstacles between the two. Men are sometimes really retarded, or habitual animals, women are too virtuous and tolerant, and there may be some men who will never understand your true intentions, and he may not even know that you are sad.
In "Daughters in Love", Zheng Shuang and her boyfriend quarreled, and then the boyfriend got out of the car to buy something, Zheng Shuang began to cry alone in the car, and after crying, he quickly looked in the mirror to tidy up his makeup, afraid that his boyfriend would come back and find out.
At this time, Papi sauce said: "Zheng Shuang is really true, a person is still afraid that he will come back to see him after crying, if I do, I will definitely cry until he comes back and let him see." Seeing the puzzled expressions of several men next to her, she said: "Men are sometimes very dull, you don't let him see, he never knows that you have cried, I cry for 10 minutes each time, my husband knows that I am crying, until the next morning he will know why I cry." ”
This is the real way of getting along with husband and wife, do not expect men to understand everything themselves, men and women's way of thinking is originally different, if you do not want to try to let him know your feelings, let him experience your pain, then it will be difficult for him to understand your behavior and requirements, and the communication between husband and wife is naturally more estranged and not understood.
There are many husbands who do not know how to care about their wives, and there are many self-righteous men, they do have their problems, but between husband and wife, there should still be more frank communication, no matter what the effect, at least let each other have more understanding, less obstacles.