Understand "The Red and the Black", you understand extramarital affairs and human nature

Stendhal's "The Red and the Black" is a work of human nature, and it seems that it is not about history, but about the many sentient beings in our real lives. The protagonist Yu Lian grew up poor,

He never got a good word from his father and brother, but none of this stopped him from climbing upwards, he studied hard, loved to read, hoping that one day he would be appreciated by the upper class of the nobility and thus get ahead. In the process, he experienced two unforgettable loves.

The first is a year-long extramarital affair with the mayor, Mrs. Raynal. Jullien was only 17 years old when he went to the mayor's house as a governess, and his wife was 30 years old, but this did not stop the passion of love from bursting. Raynal is an old-fashioned, uninteresting, impersonal work machine, while Madame is beautiful and gentle and generous. The lady, who had no feelings for marriage, saw Yu Lian at the moment, as if the fish had met the water again, with passion, with impulse and with the kind of worry and uneasiness of the little girl who had a first love.

And Jullien? He was lonely and quiet, and at first he was completely immersed in his admiration for Napoleon, he was a lonely hero, he had strong self-esteem, and he had a little inferiority brought about by his birth, and he attached great importance to the gap between rich and poor. As long as Raynal yelled at him a little, he would be sensitive to the fact that Raynal looked down on him. In order to get revenge on the mayor, to prove that he was not a coward, he had the audacity to kiss the mayor's wife's hand. That is to say, Jullien did not love Madame Raynal at first, but only used her as a tool for revenge. Jullien thought that Madame Raynal's courtship of him made him feel that the nobility could no longer despise him.

And Madame Raynal, she is almost a very humble little woman mentality in front of Yulian, she is afraid of losing Jullien, she is afraid that the other party will not like her, and all she does is to watch Yulian's expression and actions. As soon as the other person suddenly released her hand, her heart was like a fawn. The only time he had a straight face was the kind of trick that girls used to, begging him to coax himself.

I didn't expect a mountain to be higher than a mountain. Yu Lian was also a person with a high heart, and when he saw her expression, he left without turning his head.

Mrs. Raynal likes to like it and cheats on her, but she doesn't want to divorce and stay with Yu Lian. She once said, "I will never promise Yu Lian anything, we will only be friends in the future." Later, when Yu Lian kissed her hand, she was almost bumped into, and she was disgusted by Lian's lack of enthusiasm for a moment, and her moral concept returned.

Later, due to the illness of her child, Mrs. Raynal, who was deeply religious, felt that this was her retribution, so she cut off her love and broke off contact with Yu Lian. Can Mrs. Raynal get a divorce? OK. It was just that she had to endure the heat and cold of being with Yu Lian, the moral condemnation and the torment of religious thought. Her love for Lian wasn't enough to make her take such a risk.

Obviously, Mrs. Raynal is the epitome of the derailment of many people in contemporary society. Cheating and not getting divorced, really not because I love you so much. No divorce, one word: greed!

I also want to feel the stimulation of extramarital affairs, but I am not willing to give up my existing life. Although life is a little poor and boring, at least the life is relatively stable, and divorce is a nerve-wracking thing, and he is not willing to take risks.

In extramarital affairs, it is generally divided into several types of men:

The first: after they cheated, the moral and responsibility levels filled their hearts with infinite guilt, like Madame Raynal, whose heart was full of guilt and self-blame. So at this time, if you are determined to divorce, then this is the best time for you to fight for common property, and his guilt will give you a greater advantage in this divorce lawsuit game, and the typical example of this kind of man is Chen Junsheng.

The second is: they are scumbags, do not feel that they are sorry for you, then do not have to be merciful, directly take legal weapons.

Let's talk about Jullien's second relationship.

He later went to the Marquis's House as a secretary. The Marquis's daughter Mathilde was young and beautiful and assertive, and she had a sense of nobility and invincibility, and she grew up in a well-to-do family, and she wanted the wind to be windy and the rain to be rainy. In this way, women who have achieved a certain degree of kindness are full of pride. She didn't look up to the rich second generation who was right with her, and they didn't have the spirit of hard work and adventure.

She admires Jullien's upward mobility, fighting spirit and aggressiveness, but at the same time she has been bouncing back and forth between her pride and emotions, wavering. Sensibility prompted her to kneel in front of Lian lian and say, "I am the slave you love", but reason made her shy away from Lian, she looked down on herself, how could she look at such a person with no family and no background, and thought of giving her mating rights to the priest, a peasant's son, and she was going to be ruined by this thought.

She and Jullien have always been in the process of mutual game. When Yu Lian spoke softly and kindly to her, she looked down on Yu Lian's low-brow and pleasing posture; on the contrary, when Yu Lian's self-esteem rose and ignored her, she couldn't help but walk into Yu Lian.

Here it must be said that many people are pandering to the leader everywhere, low eyebrows to the dust, in fact, the more so that others look down on you, to be generous, have a wind bone, so as to win a good feeling. The good people around me and in the leadership office are naturally able to laugh and communicate normally, rather than putting themselves on the lower side to cater to them.

Real life, whether it is love or friendship, is almost full of games in various relationships, either the east wind overwhelms the west wind or the west wind overwhelms the east wind. Jullien and Mathilde both have their own self-esteem and pride, which makes them have to make themselves the dominant player in this relationship, so by blindly hurting and suppressing each other to complete their self-esteem satisfaction, Mathilde once said, "I want to heal your careful self-esteem, I want you to understand that I am not someone you can control."

Is this scene familiar? During the ambiguous period, girls abuse boys as much as possible, and they have to screen out who is the strongest masochistic type among all their suitors, that is, they really like me; when in love, quarrels are cold, dead or alive do not admit mistakes, they must let each other bow their heads and admit their mistakes; in marriage, I must say one thing and one, I have to have absolute dominance to prove that I have status.

Why bother? When in love, the self-esteem of excellent men is very high, you blindly hit the self-esteem of others, good men may run away, and all you leave behind is to ask for a person with low self-esteem. Jullien loved her very much, but her lofty indifference and alienated indifference would puncture his courage and make him lose his dignity, which would be fatal to a man who was very face-saving and self-respecting. So he'd rather stay away from her and not let her see that he likes him, but also maintain his own self-esteem. Smart girls come and go.

Love and marriage are even more unnecessary, we should be a family that loves each other, but we have not turned marriage into a battlefield, and no one likes this high-pressure state. We want to make ourselves a person who is strong but not strong at heart, gentle but not weak on the outside. Many times, learning to bow your head is also a kind of wisdom. The key is that the dignity that should be there cannot be lost, and the strength that should not be there must be properly discarded, and only in this way can happiness be obtained.

#Red & Black##Extramarital Affair##Human nature##遇见好书 #