「Profile」
Lu Xin'er
Actor, singer, international instructor of aerial yoga
Founder of X-Space Dance Lab
Graduated from the Beijing Film Academy in 2002
Film and television masterpieces: "Jingwumen 2", "Absolute Privacy", "Hurried Years", "Gege's Daughter", "Red Scorpion", "Women Why Are They Difficult Women", "Beacon Orphan", "Mother Is Not Guilty" and so on
Musical masterpieces: the eponymous Chinese album "Xin ER" and so on
Text | One sister
Photo | roc
The image provides | X-Square Dance Lab
When I met owner Lu Xin'er at the X-Square Star Life Museum, she had just finished filming a new drama.
The place is not easy to find, because the owner of the museum has a special star status, so in the choice of venue, privacy is an important consideration. What's more, her celebrity friends also need a private place.
Lu Xin'er graduated from the Beijing Film Academy in 2002 in the undergraduate class of acting, began to shoot film and television dramas in 2004, and served as the female number one in many works, Liu Yifei, Zhu Yawen, Jiang Yiyan, Luo Jin, etc. are her classmates at the university.
By chance, she studied with the founder of French Aerial Yoga for several years between filming, and obtained the first and second certifications of international tutor qualifications, and opened this unique style of star life hall after completing her studies.
Her celebrity classmates and friends in the circle often come here to practice yoga and dance, and she always serves as their yoga personal tutor.
In Lu Xin'er's view, the actor is only one of the roles in her life, because she believes that "life is a kaleidoscope, there are many layers to explore", so she also has many identity labels: singer, dancer, yoga teacher, founder of X-Square Dance Lab, and the mother of a 6-year-old boy.
Although there are still occasional scenes, taking care of X-Square is Lu Xiner's current focus.
"It's normal that every stage of life will have a different center of gravity, and maybe I'll try new identities in the future, but X-Square is the most important thing now." Lu Xin'er said.
"Lu Xin'er enjoys aerial yoga"
Exploring different aspects of life and discovering her own possibilities is both her own pursuit and what she wants her son to be.
It has to do with her upbringing. Xin Er began to learn dance at a very young age, but she really practiced dance as a profession because of an unexpected viral cold in her childhood.
At that time, she was in the fourth grade of elementary school, and this sudden cold unfortunately turned into myocarditis, which severely damaged her young heart. This little girl, who was originally super energetic, became a weak girl who could not even afford recess exercises due to illness.
Later, although her body was slowly recovering, her studies had inevitably been affected. At that time, she had only two choices, either to give up and let herself become sick and weak, or to continue to fight and take another path.
She chose the latter decisively. She began to enter the local art school and systematically studied professional folk dance for 7 years, both to explore a new path and to exercise her physique.
Later, she followed her teacher's advice and applied for the acting department of the Beijing Film Academy, which opened up another possibility in her life.
This setback in her childhood had a great impact on her, which not only changed the direction of her life, but also made her more deeply understand that there is no real stability in the world, and it is more important to practice her own life.
"Desire can be a little less, a little less, if God really closes the door in front of you, don't keep holding on to the door, He will definitely open another window for you somewhere, but only if you have the ability to see the window and have the courage to try to push it open." 」 Lu Xin'er said.
Lu Xin'er is a serious person. When she was an actress, she carefully studied the role and did her best to perform; when she founded the life hall, she tried to combine professional dance and high-altitude yoga to create a most professional, comprehensive and experienced brand; when she was a mother, she also knew exactly where her boundary with her children was.
"Lu Xin'er believes that a good mother must know how to be herself first."
"We should give up that kind of nanny-style companionship and education, only by pulling out and finding the direction of our own life first, will we let our children see that life can be chosen." Lu Xin'er said.
Sometimes when she enters the crew and can't go home for months, she will also think of her children thinking of tears, and sneak back as soon as there is a shooting gap.
However, when she is with her children, she never acts as a mother who directly helps her children solve problems. Because she hopes that children can learn to think and judge independently, and more importantly, have the ability to take responsibility for their own lives.
One day, at 9 o'clock in the evening, the child should go to bed, but he suddenly said, Mom, I remembered that the homework had not been written.
Perhaps the first reaction of most moms is a big bang: Then why don't you write your homework?! How can you not write homework?! See how you get picked up by the teacher tomorrow!
Lu Xin'er just calmly said that you can decide for yourself whether to write homework or not, but you have to understand, what are the consequences of not writing homework? If you don't write, what kind of situation will you face tomorrow? Can you afford it yourself? If you feel that everything is OK, then you can not write.
She does this because she knows that if she makes decisions on behalf of her children and tells them to write or not to write, there is no way for them to learn to think and judge, let alone take responsibility for themselves.
After thinking about it for 5 minutes, the child picked up the book himself and said, I still write my homework.
The whole process, no one was angry, no one was yelling blame. Lu Xin'er easily solved this problem in a gentle atmosphere.
In her life hall, there are often some young mother members. She could always smell a strong sense of anxiety in them, perhaps, a temperament common to the moms of this era.
For example, the anxiety of being unable to recover and rushing to achieve success after childbirth, the irritability of taking care of the child so that there is no private space at all, the anxiety of wanting to be responsible for the child's life and being overwhelmed...
Fortunately, yoga is a great way to help them relax. Whenever a member is relieved of pressure in the life hall, or even changes his life because of it, Lu Xin'er will have another sense of accomplishment that is different from the identity of an actor.
In Lu Xin'er's view, finding your own direction in life and basing your sense of value on your own efforts rather than children is the premise of being a good mother.
QA
Don't be a mom who helps your child solve problems
"Lu Xin'er's paintings are very popular with her 6-year-old son."
Q One Parents: Have you ever been mad when you face your children?
A Lu Xin'er: When he was naughty when he was a child, he occasionally had it. We can't ask children to be as correct in judging things as adults do, so parents need to be tolerant.
The key is to pull some attention out of the child, because when you just stare at the child, the problem becomes infinitely larger. For moms, self-adjustment is important.
Q One Parents: You have a lot of identity labels and rich life experience, will you use your experience to help your child plan his life?
A Lu Xin'er: I think we should give up that kind of nanny-style companionship and education, not that he needs anything, we have to provide him with meticulous love and care. I think there are actually some problems with this.
Especially mothers, need to pull out a little, first find their own life direction, will let the child see that the original life is selective.
I don't want my child to see a mom who is at home all day and only knows how to circle around him, but I want my child to feel that mom has been trying very hard to explore her own life, whether it is the length or width of life.
At the same time, I also hope that I can accumulate more experience and life experience, be his ideological guide, and be a good example.
Q One Parents: What is your parent-child relationship?
A Lu Xin'er: Try to be friends with him, not be a mother who helps him solve problems. I don't force my child to do something, nor do I think for him, because it's hard for me and he's going to be hard.
I think it is very important to teach children to form the habit of thinking and learn to make decisions, including being able to bear the corresponding consequences after making decisions. This is particularly important, and this is more important than making his own decisions.
Q One parents: With such unique resources and conditions, will you deliberately arrange for him to practice dance?
A Lu Xin'er: I never deliberately arranged it, but sometimes he would come with me to the living hall and stay next to me to watch me take lessons, and he would often run to the dance studio to watch others practice dancing.
I actually like to dance street dance, and I have also studied that the best age for children to contact dance is 5-7 years old, and he is now in the 6-year-old age group, so enlightenment is very important.
I often show him to watch us practice dancing, but I will respect his choice and never force him to dance, just let him hear it. I would sneak a peek at him, he was already practicing with him.
A lot of things, I think should be the parents subtly give to the child, rather than imposing on him, giving him the environment, he will make his own choices.
Q One Parents: How do you play with your children outside of filming and work?
A Lu Xin'er: In fact, it is quite rich, mainly depending on his requirements, as long as it is not excessive, I will try to meet. Sometimes we go to amusement parks, sometimes we visit technology fields. For a while, he was obsessed with dinosaurs, so I took him to see the Dinosaur Fossil Museum.
Q One Parents: How do you see these different identity labels in your life?
A Lu Xin'er: In fact, these identities and roles can be integrated, actors, life museum founders, mothers and other roles, are an important part of my life, which part can not be let go.
I'm also learning how to balance these different identities. My status as an actor has given me a lot of valuable life experience and various resources accumulation, which is very important to me. Therefore, I will not give up acting, and I will still return to this professional identity when the opportunity is right. ◉
- Copyright -
All original content of One Parents may not be reproduced without permission