Bohan
On February 19, 2012, Bai Han, a famous actor of the National Drama Theatre, died of illness in Beijing. Bai Han has starred in more than 60 film and television dramas such as "Women Are Not the Moon", and has won the Best Actress Award of the "Magnolia Award" of the Shanghai TV Festival and the Best Actress Nomination Award of the "Golden Rooster Award" of Chinese Films. Especially in the role of "Cao Xinmei" in "The Beautiful Age of Daughter-in-Law", Bai Han is well-known at home and abroad.
Bai Han's only son, Han Qing, graduated from the Acting Department of the Beijing Film Academy and is now an actor in the China Railway Literary troupe. He witnessed the ups and downs of his mother, and the mother and son walked through the uneven course of life together. The following is Han Qing's tearful recollection...
<h1 class="pgc-h-arrow-right" data-track="33" > The rebellion of a young teenager, I was against my mother's remarriage</h1>
On my birthday in 1996, my mother brought me back a cream cake, and she was followed home by a middle-aged man with glasses. As soon as I blew out the birthday red candle, my mother pointed to the opposite direction and introduced me: "This is Uncle Han Xiaolei, a professor at the Beijing Film Academy, and he will live with us in the future." "My heart seemed to be suddenly stoned, and it turned out that he was my future stepfather.
Han Xiaolei
Remembering the depressed life of several classmates at school who had stepfathers and stepmothers, my tears couldn't help but fall. Han Xiaolei smiled awkwardly: "Dong Dong (my nickname), it is not easy for me and your mother, we both need a complete home, your mother inspected me for two years before accepting me." You are in the critical stages of a boy's growth and also need fatherly love, I will treat you well, please believe me. ”
When I was 7 years old, my parents were divorced due to personality discord, and my biological father did not have much contact with me because he was busy. A few years have passed, and I have adjusted to the days of being dependent on my mother and do not want this calm to be broken. After Uncle Han resigned, I said to my mother, "Mom, I have a father, don't stepfather, don't let him come to our house in the future, okay?" "Mom's eyes were red, she sat down at the piano, her hands pressed the keys wildly, and the chaotic music reflected the complexity and panic in her heart...
However, my mother did not accommodate me in the end, and her marriage to Uncle Han was set for a month later. That morning, like a little puppet, I was mechanically taken to the wedding scene by the wedding car.
When my mother and Uncle Han exchanged rings with each other, I ran out of the hotel, ran to the foot of Xiangshan Mountain, sat on the side of the railway, thought about the heart of a young man, and unconsciously fell asleep crying in confusion...
At about 10 o'clock in the night, a chaotic footstep suddenly woke me up, and I opened my eyes from the grass to see my mother and Uncle Han standing anxiously in front of me with flashlights. Seeing me, Uncle Han was relieved: "Winter and winter, we looked for most of the night, but we can find you." My mother took my hand and choked up and said, "Son, let's go home." "The little one was sleepy and heavy, and the heavy eyelids came down, and I stumbled as I walked. Uncle Han saw this and carried me home. I thought what awaited me would be a family storm. Who knows, neither Mom nor Uncle Han mentioned it.
Mom's wedding room was Uncle Han's two-bedroom apartment at film school. Uncle Han divorced his ex-wife a few years ago, his daughter went to college in the United States with his painter mother, and no one on Uncle Han's side interfered with our lives. Because of my inner resistance to Uncle Han, I rarely talk at home. In stark contrast to me, my mother was inspired to live with a passion she had never had before. Mom has a weekly skin care, a smooth complexion, and a haircut that changes over several months. At Uncle Han's suggestion, she also wore a brightly colored skirt and cheongsam.
Once, my mother received a salary and a salary, so she casually stuffed it into a drawer, and after a few years, it was stuffed with coins and crumpled change. Every time I went out to buy something, my mother had to rummage for a while. And now, my mother divided her and Uncle Han's income into four parts, packed them into four envelopes, buying rice and vegetables, paying water and electricity bills, and the cost of giving me and Uncle Han's daughter, and the last one was saved. Life is planned in an orderly manner.
Stills from "The LoneLy Soul of the Black House"
Uncle Han was an actor when he was young, starring in China's first horror film "The Lonely Soul of the Black House", and then changed to teaching and directing, directing a number of influential works, and is one of the representatives of the fourth generation of Chinese directors. Mom is a first-class actor in the National Drama Theatre, starring in more than 20 film and television dramas such as "Women Are Not the Moon". One is a senior director, the other is a powerful actress, and her mother and Uncle Han complement each other perfectly, and in just over two years, they have collaborated on several masterpieces.
At that time, my biggest wish was to hope that my mother would be happy, and now Uncle Han cares for his mother and treats me kindly, and the family of three has a stable life, and gradually, I recognize the marriage between Uncle Han and my mother in my heart.
However, because of her mother's impatient personality, everything requires perfection. Living at home, how can everything go smoothly? If my mother had any worries, she vented to Uncle Han. Han Bos was polite and elegant, but his mother bowed his head and sighed. I was my mother's biological son, so naturally I was emotionally biased toward my mother. After that, my mother tangled with Uncle Han again, and I stood on my mother's side with a clear banner...
<h1 class="pgc-h-arrow-right" data-track="33" > stepfather's death is happy, and the vicissitudes of the mother will be lonely until old</h1> age
In the fall of that year, Uncle Han's film school distributed southern oranges to employees because my mother and I loved to eat oranges, and Uncle Han was willing to pay for two more boxes from colleagues. In the evening, when I came home from school, as soon as I entered the courtyard, I caught a glimpse of Uncle Han carrying dozens of pounds of oranges on his back, struggling to climb the stairs. At this time, Uncle Han was more than sixty years old, and his bloated body arched into a large shrimp. His white hair fluttered in the wind, and the heavy gasps could be heard in the distance. Irrepressible tears welled up in my eyes...
In 2002, a few months after I graduated from high school, I told my mom and Uncle Han, "I want to go to college in the United States." The mother looked embarrassed: "You still go to college in China, studying in the United States is not only difficult to get a visa, but also a fee." Uncle Han gently pressed his mother's palm: "Let's respect Dongdong's wishes, although I am more than 60 years old, I can also direct plays for people, write scripts, and use our income to study in Winter and Winter." As for his visa, I'll find a way. ”
In the following days, Uncle Han dragged his tired body and went in and out of a number of study abroad institutions every day, and finally completed a visa for me to study in the United States. However, near graduation, I changed my mind and wanted to enter a domestic art college and pursue the same career as my mother. My mother scolded me fiercely: "Your child is too ignorant, Uncle Han spent a lot of money on you before and after he was busy, and you let him busy for several months with one word?" No, you have to go to the United States. Uncle Han patiently comforted his mother: "Interest is the best teacher, Dong Dong does not want to go to the United States, you force him, he will definitely not learn well there." ”
Uncle Han's fatherly love like a red sun completely melted the ice in my heart, and I cried out "Dad" with tears in my eyes. Soon, under the guidance of Uncle Han, I was successfully admitted to the acting department of the Beijing Film Academy. With the maturity of my mind, I gradually understood the vicissitudes of the world. I warned myself: In the years to come, I will try to make up for my apologies to my mother and Uncle Han. It was from this time that I changed my name to Han Qing.
Han's father was born in the Yan'an Security Nursery, a revolutionary descendant who grew up in the cradle of horseback, and his turbulent and displaced life led him to suffer from severe rheumatic heart disease from an early age. Every night, when he and his mother sat in the study to grade their homework or discuss the script, I would put warm boiled water and medicine in front of him and remind him to take it on time. Usually, as soon as his heart was abnormal, my mother and I would rush to take him to the hospital. We took care of Papa Han like porcelain.
But even so, misfortune came. One night in March of the following year, my mother and I were watching TV in the living room when we suddenly heard a muffled noise from the study. My mother and I rushed over, only to see Han's father fall from the sofa to the ground, his hands covering his chest, and his face bruised. My mom and I rushed Han's dad to the hospital. Before he was on the operating table, Han's father closed his eyes forever due to heart failure...
The closest person died suddenly, and my mother's life was dark. Once, to spice up my mom's taste, I made a braised mandarin fish. Just after tasting it, my mother's tears came down: "Your Han dad loves to eat this dish the most, Dong Dong, my mother's first love began from knowing Han Dad, unforgettable." "My heart became heavy again.
My mother had a rough life, she was just two years old, my grandfather was beaten into a rightist, my grandmother could not bear the blow and suffered from mental illness, and later committed suicide. A few years later, Grandpa died of esophageal cancer. Coming together with Han's father was the happiest time in most of my mother's life. However, because of my rebellion and confrontation, their happiness index has been greatly reduced...
On the first anniversary of Han's father's death, my mother suddenly told me: "Winter and winter, my mother and your father Han have too many pasts that cannot be forgotten, and I want to record them." I squeezed my mother's hand: "Mom, let's finish this work together." After that, night after night, my mother and I sat side by side in front of the computer, and the mother and son reminisced about the bits and pieces of their lives with Han's father, and then transformed into words full of tears and laughter. The memoirs unblocked the grief that had sprung up in her mother's heart, and her mood was noticeably much better.
Han Qing
Since 2006, I have been taking on plays with my mother. Mother and son exchange acting skills together and talk about life feelings. Mom gradually got rid of the pain. A year later, under the introduction of a friend, I met Du Feifei, a nurse at the Beijing Civil Aviation Hospital. After confirming the relationship, I happily told my mother. The mother's face appeared a little joyful, and then she became solemn: she had a bumpy love journey, and she especially hoped that her son's future marriage would be smoother. After a moment of deep moaning, my mother told me seriously: "I want to check the gate for you and see Xiao Du' side." I smiled mischievously: "Mom, little Du Xiaoshun is sensible, you will definitely like her." ”
Soon, I officially brought Duffy into the house. Mom wasn't good at cooking, but she cooked a few dishes herself. Mother has a principle of hospitality, and generally guests come to the house to eat at the hotel; only the closest to the relationship, she personally takes charge. Duffy is beautiful and gentle, her mother is busy in the kitchen, and she takes the initiative to go in and make a move. After lunch, her mother happily gave Duffy a red envelope as a greeting gift. I knew that my mother had approved of this future daughter-in-law in her heart.
Sure enough, after Du Feifei left, my mother seriously told me: "Xiao Du is a good girl, you must cherish it in the future." "I know that I have love, the time to spend with my mother is bound to be reduced, and my mother should also have her own emotional life." I told my mother, "Mom, you're only 51 years old, and it's time to think about your own personal problems." Mom sighed, "Alas, it is enough to have your father's love in this life, and I will never get involved in emotions again in this life." "The implication is that my mother wants to be alone until I am old. I couldn't help but feel sad again...
<h1 class="pgc-h-arrow-right" data-track="33" > disease subverts the mother-child agreement, and there are two eyes of love in heaven</h1>
Bai Han with his son and daughter-in-law
After graduating from the Acting Department of the Beijing Film Academy, I was admitted to the China Railway Literary troupe with excellent results and became a professional actor. In October 2009, Duffy and I started a family. After marriage, I was worried that my mother would have many inconveniences in living alone, and sincerely said to her: "Mom, let's live together, so that we can take care of each other." Mom sighed and said, "Mom is more than fifty years old, and the pace of your life is not consistent, or each has an independent space." "I understand my mother's personality and didn't insist on it anymore.
At this time, her mother received a call from the famous director Liu Jiang, who invited her to play her mother-in-law "Cao Xinmei" in the TV series "The Belle Epoque of Daughter-in-Law". After reading the script, my mother found me overnight and excitedly said to me: "Son, the role of Cao Xinmei is none other than me, I have a lot of similarities with her, both divorced, remarried and lost their husbands, daughters-in-law are nurses." Moreover, Cao Xinmei's personality is also similar to mine, with a big grin and a straight heart..." I am also an actor, I know that it is not easy for an actor to meet a favorite role in a lifetime, when my mother does styling, I consult with her: "Mom, Cao Xinmei is an old lady who loves to worry and has an unsatisfactory life, you better not wear makeup in the play, messy hair, wrinkled clothes, so it is closer to the survival state of the role." "Mom respected my opinion.
In March 2010, "The Beautiful Age of Daughter-in-Law" was simultaneously broadcast on more than a dozen satellite televisions in Beijing, Shanghai, Shenzhen and other places, and the mother's external cold and internal heat, Cao Xinmei, who was screaming, became the classic mother-in-law image on the screen. Mom won the Best Actress Award at the 16th Shanghai TV Festival "Magnolia Award" and the Outstanding Actor Award of the Ministry of Culture.
After becoming famous, my mother's film appointments and social activities were obviously more, plus I often filmed outside, and the mother and son could not see each other once a month or two. One day, I returned to Beijing from Zhejiang after filming a TV series. After lunch, I carried fruit to see my mother. It was two o'clock in the afternoon, and she put down the script and went to the kitchen to cook a few quick-frozen dumplings to make lunch. I asked bitterly, "Mom, how can your life be so simple?" My mother flipped the dumplings and said in her mouth: "My life alone is very simple, I can't even take care of cooking when I am busy, often an apple or two oranges, or a steamed bun and a ham sausage is a meal..." My mother said easily, but my heart was heavy as lead: Which is the life of a normal person? How can the body eat in the long run? Two days later, I persuaded my wife that the two of them would move into my mother's house with simple luggage.
Stills from Bohan
My wife and I worked hard to change mom's life. I taught my mom to surf the Internet and drive a jeep, and Fifi practiced yoga with her mom and made red wine at home. Mom is actually romantic and fashionable in her bones, but the changeable life makes her feel heavy and she is not in the mood to show her brilliant side. Under the persuasion of Fifi, her mother dyed her gray hair into a fashionable "grape purple"; she opened a QQ space to exchange hot topics such as beauty, diet, and fitness with a group of "post-80s" fans.
Once, Fifi and I accompanied my mother to the mall to buy clothes, and when my mother tried on a pair of trousers, Fifi grinned widely: "Mom, your body proportions are not very good, your legs are not long enough, and your pants are loose and crumbling, like a cut pig's intestine." The salesman smiled and said, "Teacher Bai Han, your daughter is really straightforward!" Mom smiled heartily: "Wrong, she is my daughter-in-law." The salesman sighed with emotion: "The daughter-in-law can say that she is a mother-in-law, which shows how harmonious the relationship between the mother-in-law and the daughter-in-law is." "Comfort and happiness floated on Mom's cheeks...
The soothing of family affection and the change of life status have brought a new life to my mother's psychological and spiritual level, and she is obviously younger and better. It can be seen that Mom has said goodbye to the heavy life of the past once and for all. At this time, I repeated the old saying: "Mom, fifi and I can not replace your other half no matter how filial piety, you are only in your 50s, the road ahead is still very long, you should have a plan for your future emotional life." Mom smiled heartily: "I figured it out, I will pluck up enough courage to take a step forward." I excitedly grabbed my mother's hand: "Can't keep dragging, there has to be a schedule." My mother patted me on the shoulder: "Before the age of 60, my mother must solve personal problems." "My mom and I both smiled comfortably...
However, just as my mother and I were drawing a blueprint for the future of life, disaster struck unexpectedly. In September 2010, my mother suddenly and inexplicably lost weight, anorexia, and accompanied by abdominal pain and insomnia, I accompanied my mother to the hospital for diagnosis, and the doctor told us that my mother was suffering from a neuroendocrine tumor, which was benign. Neither my mother nor I took the disease seriously, and only prescribed some conventional medicines. After leaving the hospital, I rushed to Huairou to shoot a period drama. Because I played the male number one in the play, I felt a lot of pressure. My mother couldn't be relieved, endured physical discomfort, and came to the crew every three to five minutes to visit the class, using her decades of acting experience to guide me.
Han Qing stills
In February 2011, my mother couldn't sleep all night due to abdominal pain, and she ate and vomited. Fifi and I quickly sent our mother to the hospital, and the doctor solemnly told us: "The tumor in Teacher Bai Han's body has been transformed into malignant. My spirit almost collapsed: "Mom, blame me, if I had paid attention earlier and let you be hospitalized, how could there be such an ending?" Maybe after experiencing too many ups and downs and parting from life and death, my mother calmed down at this time, and she pulled me up: "Nothing, I am stronger in my career, and I am also a strong person in the face of illness." ”
At this time, the mother's illness spread in the media, and Wang Liping, the screenwriter of "The Beautiful Age of the Daughter-in-Law", and Huang Haibo and Haiqing, who played the son and daughter-in-law in the play, came to the ward to visit their mother. My mother was a person who demanded perfection, and she told me bitterly: "My hair and eyebrows have fallen off, and the whole gray face is dirty, how can I meet people?" I want to keep the best of myself in their hearts. ”
I bought my mom a wig and put it on her head. Fifi brought an eyebrow pencil, sat down at the head of the bed, and carefully drew her mother's eyebrows one by one, and smeared her with a faint blush. Looking at her renewed self in the mirror, my mother was in a much better mood. I took the opportunity to enlighten her: "Mom, you must live strongly, and Fifi and I are still waiting for your wedding." The mother laughed, laughed and laughed, and tears gushed out: "Mother has a son and daughter-in-law like you, which is the greatest satisfaction." ”
In the Spring Festival of 2012, our family of three spent time in the ward, when my mother lost a lot of weight and the cancer cells in her body had spread. I know that the time that belongs to my mother is running out, and my heart is like a knife. Early that morning, my mother said to me weakly, "If I can't live a quality life, I will choose to die with dignity." Child, in this life, our mother and son have not enough, if there is an afterlife, I am willing to become mother and son with you again. "Maybe telepathically, those days, I held my mother's head in my arms all day, and I couldn't bear to separate for a moment, for fear that if I didn't pay attention, my mother would leave us."
However, death still came, and at 21:57 on February 19, my mother's heart stopped beating forever, and my 56-year-old mother was separated from me by yin and yang. In the past few years, I have sent away my favorite Han father and mother, experienced the most painful parting of life and death, and more and more realized the impermanence of the world and the preciousness of family affection.
At 9:00 a.m. on February 25, the farewell ceremony of her mother's body was held in the bamboo hall of Babaoshan Funeral Home, and Yan Fengqi, secretary of the National Theatre of China, and more than 300 people, including friends Haiqing and Huang Haibo in the circle, came to bid farewell to their mother with grief. Mom lay peacefully among the flowers, as if asleep. I kissed the back of my mother's hand and prayed over and over again: "Mom, there are two eyes of love in heaven, that is Father Han." I know you're following him, and I wish you happiness over there. I will bear in mind your instructions to run a good business and family with the responsibilities and responsibilities of men. You're on the run, so don't worry about me over there. O mother in heaven, you have gone all the way! ”
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