Have you ever heard that man sins at birth?
Yes.
Trevor Noah, who was named one of the 100 most influential people in the world in 2018, is just that.
His father was white and his mother was black.
In apartheid South Africa at the time, the union of his parents was one of the most serious crimes.
He will face a prison sentence and he will also be sent to an orphanage.
He grew up in a world full of dangers and could break out at any time.
And his brave mother tried every means to create a normal living environment for him.
Influenced by his mother, he persevered in the cycle of discrimination, poverty, and violence.
Take your destiny into your own hands and eventually become a famous talk show host in the United States.
This story is based on Trevor Noah's autobiographical novel "Born Guilty".
From this book, we see the influence of a mother on the growth of her child.
From birth, everyone has the shadow of their mother in their life.
The love and positive education that mothers give to their children will become the "guiding light" on the road of children's growth.
Parental thinking
Determine your child's vision
Trevor grew up in apartheid South Africa, but his mother's goal in educating him was to emancipate his mind and not be limited by rigid thinking.
In the town, most of the children only spoke their native dialect, but his mother made him speak English as his first language.
Because the black people living in South Africa at that time, knowing English equaled a high IQ.
His mother also taught him a variety of different languages.
Using the language of people of different ethnicities is the quickest way to bridge the racial rift.
Later, Trevor used his language skills to cross racial lines, solve problems, and navigate the world.
Language became a tool for him to use throughout his life.
Ding Yanqing, a professor at Peking University, said:
Don't look at your child in a single way.
Because he was born secretly as a half-blood, Trevor couldn't let people see him with his father.
He couldn't even let people know who his father was, he could only live with his mother.
His mother raised him in a very liberal way.
Never restricts him, instills in him what blacks can and can't do.
Instead, she would take him to do activities that white people do:
Go ice skating at the ice rink, watch a car movie, go on a picnic.
She convinces Trevor that the world is her own and that her own thoughts and decisions are what matter.
When someone asked his mother:
"Why do you do all this? Why show him the outside world? ”
His mother replied:
"Even if he can't live without the slums for the rest of his life, he can know that the slums are not the whole world."
His mother's education eventually allowed him to run to a broader world.
At the age of 22, Trevor appeared on the talk show stage and progressed from South Africa to the United States.
He used his past poverty and hardship to laugh at himself, and turned other people's malice towards him as friendliness and turned it into a funny baggage.
Become a shining new star in the world of comedy.
"The Shawshank Redemption" says:
Don't forget that the world penetrates all the walls of things, and it's in the depths of our hearts.
It is precisely because Trevor's mother does not use rules and regulations to nurture her children, but allows them to have higher horizons and farther dreams, that Trevor can see and go to a wider world.
Parents' thinking is the direction of children's lives.
Everyone is born with their own spiritual embryo, and good parents will lead their children to find themselves, rather than blindly limiting their development.
Only when parents break the shackles of thinking can their children's lives be more possible.
Parental optimism
Let the child be rich in heart
As a mixed-race child, Trevor did not have an easy time in his hometown.
Caucasians hated him because he had black features on him.
Other people of color always bullied him because of his white features.
At one point, Trevor passed by a mulberry tree.
Seeing a few boys picking mulberries, Trevor followed suit, wanting to take some home to eat.
Soon, a boy came up to him and said he wanted to see the mulberries he had picked.
When Trevor happily folded his hands to show the boy, the boy knocked the mulberries to the ground and trampled them to pieces.
Immediately afterwards, all the children hit him with mulberries, and his whole body was dyed purple red with mulberry juice.
He ran home crying, and his mother was terrified, thinking he was covered in blood.
When he finished telling what had happened, his mother laughed and comforted him:
"Try to think about the bright side, you're really half black and half white now."
It turns out that no matter how dark and painful things are, brave people can resolve them with humor.
His mother used to say:
"Life is full of pain, and letting it make you stronger.
Don't be obsessed with it, don't complain.
Trevor's mother had a very broken used car, and she used to drive him out to explore the world.
She'll look for the kind of place where she can play without spending money, and let Trevor run freely in the park.
They went on outings to the countryside.
There are no fancy foods for picnics, but my mother would wrap smoked sausages, brown bread and butter in thick paper to make delicious sandwiches.
They also go to high-class white neighborhoods and see other people's mansions.
His mother lifted him on her shoulders and let him admire everything in the courtyard, the pool, the fruit trees, the tennis court......
幸福心理学家Christine Carter指出:
Children will observe and imitate adults' interpretations of the world, and eventually develop their own personality and mentality.
Sitting on his mother's shoulder, Trevor received a lifelong education:
Even if you are in the corner of the well, remember to look up at the starry sky.
Chaplin once said:
Looking at life with a magnifying glass, life is a tragedy;
Looking at life through a telescope, life is not a comedy.
Fearless of ups and downs, optimistic and humorous, and rich in heart, this is the most precious gift that parents leave to their children.
Parental discipline
It's love and responsibility
As a child, whenever Trevor made a mistake, his mother would reprimand him, reprimand, and tell him:
"If I don't punish you, the world will punish you even worse."
Once, Trevor went to the store to steal a pack of batteries, was caught by security guards, and informed his mother.
But his mother didn't rush to take him away, but told the security guards:
"Put him in prison, and he must know what the consequences will be for his crimes."
As the old saying goes: A habitual son is like a murderer.
If you don't correct your child's mistakes when he's young, he may grow into a tree with a crooked neck.
Trevor's stepfather owned an auto repair shop;
At the age of 19, Trevor was in order to attend the high school prom.
Picked up a red Mazda from his stepfather's garage and installed an old license plate.
On the way, Trevor encounters a routine check.
He couldn't answer the police's questions, and after checking the license plate, the police suspected him of stealing the car and arrested Trevor.
Afraid of being scolded by his parents, Trevor was afraid to call home to prove the origin of the vehicle, so he had to ask a friend to help him get a lawyer to bail him out.
After a few days in detention, his lawyer gave the prosecutor an account of the facts at a hearing before he was freed.
Back home, Trevor lied that he had spent a few days at a friend's house.
His mother told him that he knew everything that was going on.
But instead of proving the vehicle's origin, she let him stay in detention for a few days;
Mother believes that Trevor needs to understand that mistakes must be punished.
Mother said:
I control you and bind you because I love you.
Everything I do is out of love, and when I punish you, I try to save you.
The motherly love Trevor felt was both warm and stern, silently caring for his growing up.
Mother's love, like a lighthouse in the ocean, can guide the lost ship.
Guo Degang said:
There is no father and mother in the world who do not love their children.
You spoil him, but the people outside are not his own father, you scolded him enough, and no one scolded him after he went out.
Small problems can often lead to big problems.
Parents should pamper their children and discipline them before society punishes them.
The loving discipline from the mother can guide the child to forge ahead on the road to the future.
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Trevor left his mother as an adult to become a popular comedian.
Touring the country, hosting radio and television programs.
He changed the course of his life and took his destiny into his own hands.
This is inseparable from the education that my mother has always had.
At the end of the book, he writes:
I want to thank my mom for bringing me into this world.
I became who I am now, and I owe her a debt that I will never be able to repay.
Parents have a profound influence on their children.
Some parents can destroy their children's lives, and some parents can brighten their children's lives.
Don't set limits for your child's life, let your child live his or her own life.
Maintain an optimistic mindset and give your child hope in life.
Insist on positive discipline and take responsibility for true love.
The best parents are not the ones who can give the most, but the parents who know how to teach their children how to grow up healthily and how to live.