Some people say that life is long, and some people say that time is fleeting. The length of life does not depend on time, but on how you feel in your heart.
The time of torture always seems long, and the years of happiness and pleasure often pass in a flash.
The thinker Friedrich Nietzsche once said, "Luck is the moment when a meteor crosses the night sky, and it is also the moment when it falls into darkness." "There are many things in our life that we can't figure out, and feeling happy is a good thing, and feeling pain is a bad thing.
Some people may say that pain is the only way to grow and that we should be grateful for pain, when in fact "thanking for pain" itself is self-deception.
Be a human being and understand that not all growth has to go through pain. The famous writer Yu Hua once said: "Never believe that suffering is worth it, suffering is suffering, it will not bring success, nor is it worth pursuing, hone your will because suffering cannot be avoided." ”
To be a human being, you have to learn to refuse pain, and most of the things that make you feel unhappy or awkward are things that should be rejected. The reason why many people live unhappily is because they don't know how to refuse, and they don't know if they are "borrowed" by others.
There are 4 common signs when a family is "borrowed", and it is important to refuse when encountered.
Snobbish relatives visit the house frequently
"Zhu Zi's Family Motto" mentions: "Three aunts and six mothers-in-law, the medium of real adultery and thieves." The three aunts and six women here do not refer to a specific person, but to snobbish relatives.
For all people, the relationship between relatives is an integral part of family life, but some relatives are just scary. Not only are they overly curious and like to inquire about the privacy of other people's homes, but they are also selfish and selfish.
The more snobbish the relatives, the more likely they are to have disputes. Not only do they try to take advantage, but they also show anger after they don't or don't take advantage of what their hearts expect.
If in a family, snobbish relatives frequently visit the door, it shows that the family conditions are not bad, but also exposes the weakness of being defenseless.
But any family with snobbish relatives who come to the door frequently will not have too stable good luck. Being borrowed is never obvious, but it is difficult to recover after the benign aura is broken.
Acquaintances know each other without boundaries
In interpersonal interactions, a sense of boundaries is a protective net for maintaining a good relationship.
Without a sense of boundaries, it is impossible to maintain a harmonious relationship, especially between acquaintances, which seem to be intimate, but in fact, it will inadvertently damage the luck of the other party.
Everyone is an individual and needs to be respected. The feeling of not being respected, like an invisible thorn, does not cause severe pain immediately, but it gradually erodes inner peace over time.
In psychology, there is a term called the butterfly effect, which says that there are fixed numbers and variables in the development of everything. In the process of development, there are laws to follow, but at the same time, there are unpredictable variables, and a small change can make the result deviate greatly from the expectation.
In the Chinese idiom, there is a word called "the difference is a millimeter, and the error is a thousand miles." "It tells us that a lot of things, even if they start out with very small differences, can end up being very wrong.
Acquaintances have no sense of boundaries, and they will unconsciously affect the emotions of individuals, and emotions can often determine the fortune of the rest of life.
Neighbors with broken mouths came to complain
Chewing on the root of the tongue is never a good thing. If you want to live a smooth life, you have to stay away from people who have broken their mouths, so that you can maintain peace of mind.
In our lives, we will always meet some complaining and gossipy neighbors, who always seem to be full of dissatisfaction with life and full of negative energy about the people and things around them.
Life needs to be chosen, what kind of life you want to live has to be close to that kind of people and things, in the same way, if you don't want to live that kind of life, you have to learn to alienate and reject.
We have to admit that everyone will have their own troubles and troubles, but too much complaining and broken mouth will not solve the problem at all, it will not only trap yourself in negative energy, but also interfere with the hearing and hearing of those around you.
Sometimes the neighbors who have broken their mouths come to complain, and it seems to be a pastime to listen to it, but in fact, those negative energy things have long invaded your life unconsciously.
If a family doesn't want to be borrowed by others, it must learn to refuse the frequent complaints of its neighbors.
Bad marriage asking for help
Since ancient times, it has been difficult for Qing officials to cut off family affairs. In complex interpersonal relationships, many things are simply unclear, especially when it comes to emotions and marriage, and it is best not to try to help as an outsider.
Marriage is a matter of two people, a private emotional entanglement, and each marriage has a unique background and reasons, which are always difficult for outsiders to fully understand.
Smart people don't try to meddle in someone else's marriage, especially a bad one, and keep their distance even if they ask for help.
Interfering too much in other people's marriages will not only fail to save the other party, but may also take advantage of yourself.
Almost everything about emotions takes a mental drain. Everyone's wisdom and experience are limited, and this wisdom and experience is only derived from one's own life experience.
You can't comment on someone else's life if you haven't experienced it. Trying to save someone else's bad marriage is actually lending your own effort and luck to others.
If you don't want to be borrowed, you have to keep the bottom line. Be cautious about the problems in other people's marriages and refuse to provide specific implementation plans.