I am Xiao Zhuozi, and recently uncle Bo has gone out of the circle: after this wave of epidemics, the first thing is to walk a thousand miles and ride alone, just to see her missed.
Once the old house catches fire, it is earth-shattering. And what makes the old house catch fire is not love itself, but the regret that was not retained in the first place.
Which middle-aged man's single loop song list does not have that "Love of a Lifetime"?
Which middle-aged man's list of tearful movies does not have "Journey to the West"?
What middle-aged man will not recite this classic line: "There was once a sincere love in front of me, I did not cherish, and when I lost it, I regretted it, and the most painful thing in the world is this."
If Heaven could give me a chance to do it again, I would say three words to the girl: I love you. If I had to add a deadline to this love, I would have liked to be... Ten thousand years! "What?
I don't understand the uncle's circle, but the uncle's feelings are a bit interesting:
1. Anyone who is qualified in the five senses, passed the three views, and the T-shirt will not be tucked into the autumn pants will have the opportunity to win the hearts of good people;
2) Getting and retaining are two different things.
It is said that love depends on fate, why is it that fate has arrived, and good people have come, but we can't keep it?
<h1 class="pgc-h-arrow-right" data-track="143" >01</h1>
Nagao, a small-town youth who ran from Ehime to the metropolis of Tokyo to work hard, is kind, down-to-earth, and not afraid of hardship.
Just after getting off the plane, he met a big beautiful woman to pick up, and it happened that the big beauty was his workplace master.
Whether it is a timid little emotion or how to do specific work, all give you a clear and clear; at night, I am afraid of being lonely, and I come to warm phone calls regularly every day, all kinds of funny and encouraging.
The most crucial thing is the kind that smiles with a healing smile and shows 8 teeth whenever and wherever it is.
In short, Nagao, who bears the aura of the protagonist, is in love with a goddess named Rika!
Li Xiang told Several stories to Wanji:
1, on the way to work in the morning, Guanzhi saw Li Xiang carrying a large, bulging backpack, looked down at the simple folder in his hand, and wondered: What exactly is in your big bag?
purse? cell phone? key? Tampons? Spare stockings? If Li Xiang answered in this way, it would not be a story, but an accident!
Only to see Li Xiangguan'er smile, very mysteriously said: love and hope!
Unfortunately, Kenji did not understand the story. He just wanted to figure out: What did you suddenly kiss me last night, what did you really like about me?!
2, Li Xiang and Wanzhi in the middle of the relationship, the two people spent the night together for the first time.
Early in the morning, the atmosphere was somewhat awkward. Kenji couldn't figure out why Li Xiang looked no different than usual when he was so nervous.
"Do you think you must be responsible for this?"
"Girls in Tokyo don't care about this kind of thing at all."
Unfortunately, He did not understand the story. He was very worried: Why is this a whole thing, and if you rush to have a relationship, the overall situation has been decided?
3, Wanzhi and Li Xiang had a big awkward fight, Wanzhi couldn't understand why Li Xiang, who had always loved work, had to take her to her hometown of Ehime the next day, a poor place that would only produce oranges, and there was no play to play, no food to eat.
Li Xiang said to him: Let's go to Ehime. The last time you told me that there was a pillar in the elementary school classroom where you had your name engraved on it, I wanted to keep my name there, side by side with your name!
Unfortunately, Kenji still didn't understand the story. New members take time off from work just to carve their names? Silly or not?!
Is it because Kenji is a straight man who can't talk or flirt?
However, the most romantic passage in the whole play is what Kenji said:
"If I told you in the middle of the night that I was lonely, would you come and stay with me?"
"I'll fly over."
"If I called at the top of the Himalayas, would you come and pick me up?"
"I'll pick you up."
"Will you bring me a hot black wheel to eat?"
"I'll take the whole stall with me."
"What if I want to have a Beatles concert at home?"
"I'll ask them to go."
"What about John Blue?"
"I sing for him."
"What if I want you to use spells to create rainbows in the sky?"
"Maybe I won't be able to do that." But I'll use magic..."
"For example?"
Kenji's last words were expressed in body language: pull Li Xiang in his arms, bow his head, and kiss her.
Obviously, it is high-sweet and high-energy, why can't Guanzhi still read Li Xiang's story?
Because for a young man like Kenji who has just come to Tokyo from a small town to work, he has not yet figured out the preciousness of equal love, and he still has the love that has been engraved in his head since he was a teenager - you have abused me thousands of times, and I have treated you unchanged.
<h1 class="pgc-h-arrow-right" data-track="162" >02. </h1>
People who take it to love without being abused often don't know what to do.
With this masochistic mind, He is on the road to see what his ideal love looks like?
The person responsible for the abuse is his first love, Rimei Children's Shoes.
Unlike Li Xiang, Rimi likes to ask questions to Kenji instead of telling stories.
1. When did you like me?
This sentence is a pleasure if it happens when they both like each other, but it is a preemption if one party has explicitly rejected the other.
Rime falls into the latter category.
When He first came to Tokyo, he saw the beautiful Rimi at the classmates' meeting and plucked up enough courage to confess: Would you like to associate with me?
Rimi twisted and pinched: I'm going to study this as a research topic.
If the battle line is lengthened, there will be demons.
Rimi likes her and Her childhood friend, Mikami Jun, but unfortunately there are too many women around Mikami, and the brand number has not yet been called Rimi.
While losing, Rimi kept looking for comfort in the teenage threesome: How good it was then, I, Kenji, and Mikami were together forever. Kenji looks like a younger brother, but always gives me encouragement; Mikami looks like an older brother, but very naughty.
Rimi likes threesomes, and he is very cooperative, so this fatal answer he said: From the first time I saw you.
This kind of time memory such an accurate answer completely made Rimi's heart turn over: I always occupy a place in the heart of the complete treatment, then I can rest assured that I can chase the three up!
2. Can I still call you?
Rimi succeeds in being with Mikami, but her heart is always unsteady: can the prodigal son really turn back?
The more I think about it, the more I think about it.
No, on the day of Wanji's birthday, Li Xiang was preparing a birthday party for Wanzhi, and Rimi found that Mikami had gone to see other girls, what should I do? My world has collapsed, hurry up and find the foundation!
Three times five divided by two, called to finish the treatment.
"Why do people always fall in love with someone else? It's just going to be painful. ”
"But why is it not Mikami who gives me this feeling of comfort, but you, the complete treatment?"
"Maybe the person I really like is you?"
The completion that is already with Li Xiang has a certain resistance: I don't want to see you in pain anymore.
Unfortunately, the way is not enough, Rimi's next sentence: Then can I still call you? The cure immediately collapsed: yes, at any time.
In The heart of The Completed Rule, Rimi's place is still there!
A place can eventually become a spark that burns the plains, completely burning away the feelings of Li Xiang and Kenji.
Li Mei and Li Xiang represent two completely different kinds of people in love, always living in the past and always seeing the distance.
So Li Xiang is always telling one story after another with Kenji (let's create a lot of "together"!). And Rime is always asking one question after another (how do we keep the "togetherness" of the past?). ）。
The love with Li Xiang is like raising a child, although it is hard, but every day represents growth and hope;
The love with Rimi is like taking care of an old man, not only hard, but also every day will feel helpless and decaying.
In the end, Kenji chose Rimi and broke up with Little Cute Li xiang! Pig teammates also have times when they can't move.
Li Xiang also couldn't figure out why she repeated the completion of the rule many times, tasted the completion of equal love, and finally returned to the original masochistic love?
<h1 class="pgc-h-arrow-right" data-track="171" >03</h1>
Not all love can last forever, but missed the regret that once had it become a lifetime.
A year later, The completion of the minister easily and confidently completed the various businesses explained by the minister, calmly talking, and the upright posture made the minister sigh: If you and Li Xiang are together now, it is estimated that it will be a different result.
Unfortunately, there is no if in life, especially the choice of love, just once or twice!
However, what is wrong is not that the time that Wanzhi and Li xiang met was wrong, but that the configuration of The personal system of Guanzhi a year ago was too low and incompatible with human high-quality love.
Let's use the classic philosophy book "The Fifth Cultivation" to disassemble this classic Japanese love drama "Tokyo Love Story", and dissect what are the three major flaws in the personal system configuration of Kenji, which lead to a preference for sadomasochism and harvesting boring marriages?
1. Self-limit or self-continuous growth?
Kenji has a classic criterion for judging whether a girl is cute or not: when she eats a cherry, she will swallow the cherry core.
This criterion comes from Rimi as a teenager.
Once, During their conversation, Rimi suddenly noticed that Rimi's face was flushed, and it turned out that Rimi had swallowed it raw because she was embarrassed to spit out cherry pits.
At that time, Tsuji thought that Rimi was extremely elegant.
The cure is growing, but the standards are unchanged. It's like a pair of grown feet tucked into children's shoes, which is very awkward. This mode of behavior reveals the behavioral characteristics of the cure:
The first is to answer Rimi's questions like a stream.
Because the standards from the past to the present have not changed, it will give a complete sense of familiarity. So any question about how and how the past was done is the easiest way to do it as before.
But the easiest way is not the best way!
The second is that he can't understand Li Xiang's story.
Adults don't risk cherry core card throat death to play a little cute once.
Li Xiang's existence is cute in the adult world, it has a new standard, reflecting the decline of a juvenile inherent cognition and the enhancement of a growth system.
Everyone will have juvenile feelings, specific to the love system, that is, the appearance of clear love.
This juvenile sentiment follows the growth limit model, the closer to the adult world, the more weak growth; the closer to the juvenile era, the more pure and true.
In the growth limit model, people always love to make mistakes, and the more weak they are, the more they must increase their efforts on positive feedback, such as having to find people who meet the love standards of the year.
Unfortunately, this is all self-imposed.
How to push the limits of growth? We must work negative feedback, such as which standards have been invalidated, and eliminate them; which standards need to be updated and added, so that they are good young people who keep pace with the times!
2. Is it habitual defense or in-depth talks?
Mikami and Kenji are good friends, Mikami has also dealt with Rimi, and Mikami's low-end love concepts of Kanji are always beating, why is It that Mikami finally finds Rimi without hesitation?
It's not that Rimi is charming, but that Tsuji doesn't care about Mikami's words at all!
"Do you know why Li Xiang wants to go to Ehime so much?"
"She just feels that she is not in the life of your teenager, so she wants to create a teenager with you and her."
"Do you know why I got into an awkward fight with Rimi, lixiang let you comfort Rimi, and she came to comfort me?"
"Because she wants to fit into our threesome, she loves you, so she's generous."
Mikami saw it clearly and plainly, and even said, "If I were a complete ruler, I would never let go of Li Xiang in my life." "It's a pity that I don't listen to these words at all, why?"
Because you scumbag, mikami, slept with so many women, you can't even understand the love between yourself and Rimi, who still believes what you say?!
Why is it that a correct sentence is not credible when a scumbag says it?
Many times, we are admitted to high school, college, graduate school, academic qualifications are upgrading, personal systems are rarely upgraded, why is the personal system not upgraded with the upgrading of academic qualifications?
We accept new knowledge, but we habitually defend against new ideas and new thinking.
Because of habitual defense, the problems in the other party become the grippers for us to refuse to accept new ideas and new thinking, and then we are at ease to maintain moral purity and give up an opportunity for self-reflection.
In fact, no one requires you to accept the other person's point of view in a conversation, but in the process of dialogue, you find out what bugs exist in your original views and ways of thinking- how our thoughts and actions help us create problems and contradictions.
This is the purpose of the in-depth talks.
Unfortunately, Kenji gave up the opportunity to have in-depth talks with Mikami again and again, and he only cared about how to dislike Mikami for not going to Rimi well, and did not seriously reflect on the prejudices and limitations of his love standards once.
3. Create tension or emotional tension?
If you set limits for yourself and don't listen to advice, then study and cultivate well by Li Xiang's side.
It is said that a good woman is a good university, even if the entrance qualifications are too poor, repeat the class several times, you can always graduate. Why did you drop out of school?
When He broke up with Li Shanti, he said this: I don't think I can afford your life.
Translating, I'm tired.
Translate it again, that is, your rank is too high, I can't hold it.
In love, when we feel that the other party is high, we often feel anxiety and pressure, and then succumb to this anxiety and pressure, and finally choose to break up.
To put it bluntly, it is that the emotions are on the head, and the action does not listen to the command.
In The Fifth Cultivation, the tension between the gaps is not only emotional tension but also creative tension, and we are just used to conflating the two tensions and giving up as soon as there is pressure.
How to treat the two tensions separately?
The reason for reducing emotional tension is that as long as the goal exists, it will feel stressful, unless the goal does not exist. Just like The Completion, only by breaking up with Li Xiang will you not feel that the emotional world is crushed.
But people always have to adhere to one or two goals in their lives, and they can't give up again and again.
The creative tension is different, it is more concerned with the difference between reality and the ideal, where the difference is, how to do it, with a little progress, the tension will be a little smaller, until the goal is fully achieved.
This is a positive effect that drives people's efforts.
<h1 class="pgc-h-arrow-right" data-track="197" >tonote:</h1>
As soon as people are born, they begin a systematic journey, there is a world outside, there is a self inside, a little movement, both inside and outside!
One life is a lifetime of systems.