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Because we cherish the present, we look back at history
【Text: Jerry Brother】
[Editor, proofreader: Jerry Brother]
At a recent gathering of relatives, the words of a distant relative left me speechless.
It is nothing more than a clichéd topic, saying how happy your generation is, and cherish it; How hard our generation worked, how envious of you and so on.
I was there, and I felt like pins and needles, and every word of his words made me sick.
I have only one question on my mind:
Do you really think that even if you live in this world, you will be able to stand on your feet?
This relative worked in a public institution, and he had not even attended college.
If placed in the moment, this is simply impossible.
China's post-50s and post-60s parents seem to never understand that the era they lived in when they were young was very special.
One
Take the author's parents as an example, the author's parents were all salaried when they were young, but the conditions at home were quite good, grandparents are retired middle school teachers, grandparents are retired state-owned enterprise cadres, so parents almost did not encounter any pressure when they got married, the house is divided by units, household appliances are available, except for telephones.
My father had a collection of books, my mother's clothes were trendy, and they even had coffee utensils that were quite bourgeois in those days, which were quite good conditions in the early 90s, not to mention wealthy, but always enough for the upper middle level.
Today, however, it is unlikely that working-class couples can achieve upper-middle living conditions, even with the help of their parents. This is not only because of the real estate bubble that began in 2004, but also because the development of society in the past three decades has been too fast.
The development of society will inevitably be accompanied by the elimination of concepts and the great changes in lifestyle.
Today's young people not only have to buy their own cars and houses, but also have to bear the pressure of society alone when their parents' experience is outdated, which is an experience that no one in their parents' generation has experienced.
And the popularity of the Internet has allowed them to see the size of the world and the wonderful life of life, and also let them see the life of families whose living conditions are much better than theirs, which is unimaginable to ordinary children. Even if their lives are good enough in the eyes of their parents, young people will still be dissatisfied with the status quo and even feel anxious.
All of this is unimaginable and incomprehensible to the parents' generation.
In the eyes of contemporary young people, this is a normal thing, not surprising at all.
But parents often do not blame this matter on the difficulties brought by the development of the times to their children, but on the fact that children are pampered and will not adapt to society. Originally a normal thing, it is good to communicate with each other, but those elders want to use this as a fuse to cause internal friction between two generations.
When children try to explain to them and hope to be understood, they often can't listen to a word, for the simple reason: how we did when we were young, don't blame society if we can't do it.
Therefore, the traditional moral concept of Chinese is really "wonderful": it perfectly transforms the difficulties caused by social development on young people into contradictions between elders and younger generations.
In the end, the elders always ended the argument with the words "I am the elder, you have to listen to me", leaving the young people helpless and unwilling tears. The consequence is that young people's pressure cannot be released, difficulties cannot be understood, and over time, they will be consumed by social reality, their ideals will be destroyed, and even their enthusiasm for life will be lost.
It hurts! No wonder Mr. Lu Xun said in "Diary of a Madman" that the so-called "benevolent and righteous morality" in China's thousands of years of history is "cannibalism".
Two
Today's China is undergoing changes unseen in thousands of years, with the ideas of most of the older generation (except the social elite) rapidly eliminated, and the ideas of the younger generation rising rapidly, something that has not happened in China for thousands of years.
This change will definitely make the older generation less accustomed, which is normal, because without experience to follow, let alone what will happen in the future, they will think that young people are "fooling around". But what they don't know is that it is precisely because of this "nonsense" that the experience has come out, and their opposition to the concept of youth is actually rejecting China's future development.
It is normal for two generations to clash ideas, and young people originally thought that they could communicate with their elders and exchange ideas with their elders, but they always put up a sacred, inviolable stinking shelf, with various traditional moral concepts as the purpose, in an attempt to extinguish all kinds of ideas that young people consider "unreasonable".
In fact, they have no reason to refute at all, simply because they are not used to the behavior of young people, because their purpose in life is not to struggle, but to be stable. Just like the flowers in the greenhouse, I feel that as long as I rely on my own ideas, I can get a good foothold in society.
After all, they have lived for decades with this concept.
In the special social background of China at that time, they lived very peacefully, and naturally thought that young people could do the same, so even if young people had big ambitions and dared to fight, in their eyes, they were just tossing blindly, and it was better to honestly go home and take the civil service teacher exam or something.
The parents' generation simply did not know how wonderful the world is now, and it is really a pity that they do not fight hard.
Whether it's hard work or stability, no matter what the final outcome is, just live the life you want.
But they don't care, nothing compares to stability.
The parents' generation thought that whether they wanted it or not, stability was enough, so they forced a set of standards to what should be a colorful life, such as when to get married, when to have children... It is also called "contentment and happiness" and "make do with it".
Absurd! It's ridiculous!
Many people in their parents' generation are like flowers in a greenhouse, they have not read much in their lives, they have never seen anything in the world, they have been sitting in the greenhouse for decades, and they have been "thriving" in a special environment for decades, so they think that their concept of life is "unshakable", and they think that anyone who questions them is not serious.
Absurd! It's ridiculous!
As everyone knows, all roads lead to Rome, and the parents' concept and lifestyle may be right, but it is definitely not the only one.
This is like eating, some people like to eat sweet, some people like to eat salty, some people like to eat spicy, turnip cabbage has its own love, such as people drink water cold and warm self-knowledge, why should they always stand in their own perspective to taste other people's lives?!
Absurd! It's ridiculous!
Three
Why do elders always think they are right?
There is only one answer: they have decades of living experience, but they have never seen the world; They have experience, but most don't.
At that time, many post-50s and post-60s did not go to college, did not have the experience of living, studying and working with peers across the country, and it was even less important to go abroad for graduate school and see the world.
Because of this, many elders did not open their eyes when they were young.
Coupled with the special environment in the past, as long as they go to and from work on time, cook on time and eat on time, have a good relationship with the leaders in the unit, get along well with colleagues, and there are no major conflicts in the family, they can basically get a foothold in society and live very well.
This environment makes people's lives stable, but it also makes people lazy to care about things outside.
This also means that they only stare at their own acres and threes of land all their lives, only believing in their own pitiful experience.
However, it is not unfortunate that the broad-minded young people of the 90s believe in knowledge.
Because they don't believe in experience at all.
Why?
The author remembers that there is a bridge in the TV series "Yongzheng Dynasty", where Wu Sidao, who is a teacher in the Yongwang Mansion, once told the young Hongli a truth:
"Reading is for reason, but the truth is not static, it varies from time to time, from place to place, from person to person."
According to Wu Sidao, the so-called "varies from time to time", how can the experience of decades ago be applied to the present day? The so-called "varies from place to place", how can the experience of small cities and small counties be applied to large cities? The so-called "different from person to person", how can the experience of the post-50s and post-60s be applied to the post-90s and post-00s?
Therefore, the practice of young people is three sentences: learn the experience of predecessors with book knowledge, learn the current experience with the social environment, and summarize new experience with their own cognition.
In any case, anyway, it is absolutely impossible to take the experience of the older generation directly.
Because the younger generation has always believed that the reason why the elders live well is not because their concept of life is right, but because the society at that time has solved most of the problems in their lives:
The house is divided into units, which solves the vast majority of household expenses;
The cost of living is low, and the average working family can be fed, clothed and warm;
Without the Internet, you will not feel the gap between the rich and the poor in the outside world, so you will be content and happy;
The marriage requirements are also low, only need a bicycle TV and refrigerator, many people can afford it, even if the family that cannot afford it can solve it by scraping together some money;
......
The author recalls my experience of studying in Northern Europe, because social welfare is very high, everyone has a pension, and even unemployed people can receive more than 10,000 yuan a month. So almost all of Northern Europe are moonshine, which is difficult to imagine in China.
In this social environment, no matter whether a person has a career or not, whether a person is motivated or not, whether a person can keep up with the times or not, as long as he does not violate the law and does not endanger society, he can live very well.
The post-50s and post-60s generations in China are the same, the country's policies and welfare have helped them solve most of the problems in life, they only need to be a not too bad person in society and family, they can get a foothold in society, and they can have food and clothing.
Today, this is completely impossible, so their life experience is not of high reference value.
Four
In today's society, it is not something that can be simply abided by moral concepts and good human relations.
If you can't keenly grasp the changes of the times and make changes immediately, it means that you will be eliminated in the future;
If you cannot wisely perceive the change in the occupational structure and choose the real right profession, it means that you will become a victim of the wave of layoffs in the future;
If you can't correctly grasp the direction of the times, you will fall into the huge dilemma of being thrown out by your peers.
In today's society, if you don't pay attention, you will lag behind your peers, if you don't pay attention, you will be abandoned by the times, and heaven and hell are only one step away.
At that time, there is no moral concept or any personal accident, it is useless.
So, nowadays, the strings of young people are very tight.
Their pressure is beyond the imagination of their elders who have lived in greenhouses for decades.
Even in the past special era, elders who felt that life was stressful still abounded, which shows that their skills are average. If they were allowed to come to this society... Alas, it's hard to imagine!
You know, nowadays, big cities even need a bachelor's degree to settle down!
The reason why they lived well in that era depended entirely on the peculiarities of Chinese society at that time.
But the elders thought that the reason why they could gain a foothold in society at that time was entirely because of their own ability, so they thought that the moral concept in their minds was right. Then he further believes that the reason why the younger generations cannot gain a foothold in today's society is either because they are not competent enough, or their thinking is wrong.
All kinds of preaching followed.
In the eyes of the children, their preaching has no effect on changing the status quo, but only a sense of their existence in the rapid changes in society:
The children do not like to go to work, gnaw at home or even lie flat, and the elders criticize the children for not contending. As everyone knows, today's salary level simply cannot afford to buy a house, at least parents do not have to help their children pay off the mortgage;
The children worked freelancing, and the elders criticized them for not doing their jobs. As everyone knows, if you want to bear the pressure of life, it is useless to go to work and get a dead salary;
The children order takeaway when they eat, play games and chase dramas after work, and do not like to do housework, and the elders criticize them for being lazy and unable to live. As everyone knows, in any city in China now, a job with a monthly income of more than 10,000 will be so busy that there is no time to eat, let alone cook;
......
It is clear that they enjoy the dividends of the times and the protection of the environment, but they think that they are their own success - this is the biggest misunderstanding of life among the elders of the post-50s and post-60s.
If they were allowed to work in the world today, the vast majority of people would not even find a job.
Five
The author believes that those post-50s and post-60s elders who have no worries about food and clothing are often young when they are young, and when they are older, they have qualifications and status, and the right and wrong caused by China's great social changes do not affect them.
Therefore, the author wants to tell the elders, don't always put up a stinky shelf to teach the young, if you put you in their place, maybe it's not as good as them!
Smart elders are accompanying their younger generations to experience wonderful lives together, experience social progress together, and appreciate the wonders of the world together, only fools spend time preaching all day long, and want people to accept their concepts.
It's stupid and stupid.
As the author said earlier, the beginning of China's great social changes originated from the real estate bubble in 2004, and at that time, the elders of the post-50s and post-60s generations already had at least one house, and their lives were stable, whether they had money or not, they could live well, and the changes of the times had almost no impact on their lives.
Therefore, the ups and downs of the current society are simply not felt by the elders.
Now, nearly 20 years later, if their juniors encounter this kind of storm that they have never experienced before, what can the elders do except instill chicken soup that sounds right but is actually useless?
In their opinion, buying a house, getting married, and living a stable life is a matter of course, but in the eyes of the young people of the post-90s, how easy is it?
Perhaps the elders have not yet realized that times have changed.
So let's see, who is the flower in the greenhouse?
It won't be the young people of the 90s anyway.
And the author once heard people say: "My parents' generation said they envied us, but we really envied them." ”
People who say such things must have experienced the vicissitudes of this society.
And this kind of vicissitudes is something their parents could not have imagined.
(End of full text)
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