Qiu Bo's Olympic dream came to an abrupt end in August 2019.
Technical difficulties coupled with psychological problems led to his last-minute defeat in the Gwangju squad, even though he had a glorious history of three consecutive World Championship titles. And with his withdrawal from the national team, I am afraid that I will never see that "Mr. Full Score" in future international competitions.
Caught in a whirlpool of contradictions, Qiu Bo stopped in Gwangju and withdrew from the Tokyo competition to crush the Olympic dream
Now, schoolwork has become the new focus of Qiu Bo's life. He lived a twin-city life of "Chengdu-Beijing". When making up the credits, Qiu Bo temporarily stayed in the express hotel not far from the location of the class.
Qiu Bo, who lives in a hotel room, is no different from the state of an ordinary student. He had to think about how to make up enough 500 words to look after the feeling; he also had to play 120,000 points of spirit to deal with the English tense that almost "crossed" him.
A corner of the table in the Chu bo hotel room
Qiu Bo was in his room and continued to tell us the story of him and diving.
The sunlight outside the window is slowly fading, and the next narration, like a patrol in the endless night, involves the darkest moments of his life.
<h1>"It feels like a crime"</h1>
"After 626B jumped, I really didn't want to get out of the water Making such a low-level mistake in such an important game is no different from committing a crime. ”
During pre-match training at the Rio 2016 Olympics, it wasn't without warning. Just like facing an exam but suddenly unable to write, the "Mr. Full Score" of the diving world suddenly can't control the movement.
At that time, it was too close to the Olympics, and it was only the scalp.
Qiu Bo originally thought that after arriving at the competition venue, there would be a turnaround in a different environment, but it was obviously the Olympic Games, but he was not nervous at all.
He said the London Olympics missed the gold medal with 1.8 points and did not shed tears. "Because I was so nervous during the game, I was pulled out of that state, and I just wanted to lie on the wall and slow down." But in Rio, Qiu Bo felt unusually calm, but his body was not in control of himself, and every jump was like gambling.
Unfortunately, the gamble failed.
At the 2012 London Olympics, Qiu Bo was extremely nervous, and at the Rio Olympics, he was extremely desperate
After the game, back at the apartment in the Rio Olympic Village, he stared at himself in the mirror of the room: "What are you here for?" ”
That night, Qiu Bo stood alone on the balcony of his room, in a daze for the night.
"The phone was full of text messages, WeChat, a bunch of words of comfort to me The most seen text that day was: It's okay, it's already great! I can only reply: thanks, I know But knowing in the heart that this is fake, how can it be okay? ”
As soon as you close your eyes, the scenes and sounds of the Olympic Games will pour in together: the despair that does not want to surface, the dark corridors leading to the locker room, the athletes who are excited to talk around, and the expressions of his teammates He Zi - a kind of sadness and embarrassment that wants comfort but cannot open their mouths...
"Like a dream, I really hope it is a dream."
Qiu Bo did not participate in any celebrations, "That has nothing to do with me." After returning to Beijing to resume training, "criminal" Qiu Bo suffered from insomnia for a whole week of torture.
For seven consecutive days, he could barely fall asleep at five o'clock in the morning, and then he had to get up at half past five to go to exercise. When training, his eyes will be black and his eyes will be confused. Every word the coach said was like floating in another world.
"After a week, I really can't stand it. I said to the tour leader, I can't do it, I need time to adjust. In just 7 days, Qiu Bo lost more than ten pounds, and uninformed people would even suspect that he had been abused.
"At that time, I hoped that someone would knock me unconscious with a stick, so that I might be able to sleep well."
Back to the provincial team, the suffering of insomnia all night lasted for half a month. Counseling sessions, psychologists, don't play any role. Unable to sleep, he punished himself as if he were reading obscure psychological books.
"After I was able to fall asleep, I started to have nightmares every night. The dream of the game, the dream of the Olympics, has always been a failure from beginning to end, and I woke up with sweat all over my body. ”
The endless darkness, like an endless sea of bitterness, plunged him deep into it, constantly swirling.
Insomnia, nightmares, a failed Olympics when you close your eyes
At the beginning of 2017, Qiu Bo returned to the national team again. Slowly start to adapt, slowly start to integrate. He couldn't remember how long it took, and finally gradually came out of self-punishment.
"Later, I also figured it out, in fact, the best experience is often on the way to the gold medal." Of course, everyone is happy to win the gold medal, but no matter how good or bad the result is, you should not deny your efforts. ”
Out of the shadow of the Rio Olympics, Qiu Bo has grown a lot, but the reality he has to face next is even more cruel...
<h1>"There is a scale in the heart"</h1>
"In the team, not improving is equivalent to regressing."
The fiasco at the Rio Olympics left Qiu Bo facing a serious crisis of trust. In the lineup of a series of important events in 2017, Qiu Bo's name is no longer there.
"But at that moment, I was spineless. I have a scale in my heart, and I believe that I am no worse than anyone else when I recover. Qiu Bo, who has experienced the wind and waves, has begun to learn to use psychological cues to adjust his mentality.
He settled down and waited for the next opportunity.
With all his might, Qiu Bo struggled on the road to the Tokyo Olympics
However, mentality and state are not the same thing.
His appearance at the World Championships in July 2017 further weakened the national team's trust in Qiu Bo.
"My first time in a mixed team event, I didn't have a reasonable expectation for the length of the race, so I wasn't fully prepared and my muscles were a bit stiff." There were 19 pairs of players in the whole game, and the competition time was close to two hours. Every jump, I have to wait for half an hour below, "6th place, of course I feel sorry, but I know my center of gravity is not here." In this game, I want you to know that Qiu Bo is still diving. ”
Qiu Bo, who grew up, learned to make trade-offs. After each game, he is more of an analysis and summary than a matter of self-blame and regret.
In the familiar environment, it is transforming into a different Qiu Bo
Qiu Bo's heart is gradually strengthening, but diving as an instantaneous movement, the slightest deviation will bring irreparable results. It's not that you get a perfect score for this action, this life will become your best hand in killing all directions, and the risk is everywhere.
For example, the 207B that plagued him, the London Olympics once pushed him into the abyss, and in the next 7 years, he would always tripped him jokingly at key moments.
Qiu Bo stood on the jumping platform, skillfully and clearly reciting the action essentials of the 207B, and then, as usual, he exerted his strength, took off, and churned. However, as soon as he got into the air, "the whole person was gone", his movements would be completely chaotic, and his movements of three and a half weeks would only turn over to three weeks, and he would be slapped heavily in the water, and his whole body would be bruised and purple, and he would even fall to the point of vomiting blood.
Such accidents occurred in May last year and February this year, once near the Wuhan World Cup and once in the first leg of the Gwangju World Championships selection.
However, in the face of unknowns and fears, Qiu Bo did not make the slightest concession. Burdened with the extreme pressure that every jump could spiral out of control, he persisted and continued to wrestle with this "technical imbalance problem". And with the help of the coach, gradually find the final solution to jump well 207B.
"I really can't afford to fall"
"You can't say that if there is a risk, you don't do it. If you feel that you are driving a hidden danger, you should remove the obstacle and continue on the road. ”
Unexpectedly, to solve this problem, Qiu Bo really encountered a car accident in April this year. The left ankle has fallen into a new "hidden danger".
It was difficult to carry a foot injury and survive the most difficult world championship selection, but during the training period, because of some subtle misunderstandings and coincidences, coupled with the cruel and ruthless nature of competitive sports, Qiu Bo's Olympic road came to an end.
In the eyes of many people, the three consecutive world championships may not be as dazzling as the Olympic gold medal, but what is more exciting than the Olympic gold medal is actually a life to be continued.
The playful "Mr. Full Score" turned and left
<h1>Diving clock with butterflies</h1>
Outside the hotel, street lights were lit. The fading light outside the window made the contours of his face become softer and softer, and Qiu Bo's heart was also reconciling with himself step by step.
The labels of self-punishment, honor and right and "sorrow" imprisoned his past life like a diving bell. Eventually, he untied himself and could more easily face things other than diving.
"In retrospect, the things that used to be tangled up weren't so complicated."
"The emotional control methods of foreign athletes may be worth learning from." They will write all the joys and sorrows on their faces, and if they dance well, they will be happy, and if they don't dance well, they will be sad. Qiu Bo felt that in the arena, he could generously admit tension, and he could properly vent and release emotions.
"Chinese players should be more serious, dancing well and not dancing well are all expressions, and it feels like no one can laugh without winning the championship."
In the eyes of his teammates, Qiu Bo belongs to the introverted personality. "I'm so tired of training, and I have to tell people about sad things, and I don't want to do that." Therefore, rather than complaining, Qiu Bo loves to share passages from time to time. "If you can't be happy in time, you have to be happy in pain."
During the interview, Qiu Bo would easily laugh at himself, generously admitting his true thoughts and desires, and even sharing some "stupid" experiences.
At the 2017 Full Games, Qiu Bo began to inexplicably doubt whether the scores of the London Olympic Games 5 years ago were calculated accurately. "I was counting, thinking in my heart, this will be bigger!" I'm afraid I'm not really miscalculated? As a result, the scores from several "tests" were exactly the same, or 1.8 points less than the champion American Boudia.
"I'm like a neurotic, and after five or six years, I still want to turn over old accounts."
This is the "knot" that Qiu Bo can't hide.
Recalling his entire diving career, Qiu Bo gave himself 80 points, not satisfied, but not regretful at all. The vast majority of the twenty lost are for their own reasons, and perhaps there is also an element of luck.
"Special thanks to the country and the coaches, the help to our athletes is really too much. But to be honest, I want to thank myself the most. In 2016, I was able to survive on myself, and then I couldn't stand it in these years, mainly on myself. The last thing I want to hear people say is that Qiu Bo can't get out in 16 years. Sorry, I never will. ”
He described himself as having a fire in his heart, always with him, dragging him out of those abysses. "Others may only see a puff of smoke, and all I can do is prove it to myself."
From self-denial punishment in 2016, to overcoming fear and injury later, and now learning self-affirmation and forgiveness, Qiu Bo's three years may not be all in preparation for the Olympics, but also in preparation for life.
"Work hard, nothing else."
Finally, Qiu Bo finished telling the story of himself and diving, and stood up from the wooden chair in front of the floor-to-ceiling window, moving his arms. Pulling out his mobile phone, he ordered himself a light salad on the US group, and after a simple coping, he was going to go to class.
"In the past, when diving, I always envied others for reading easily. Now it is found that it is just a different way to get tired. Qiu Bo scratched his head and sighed.
After this "Mr. 600 points" in the diving industry began to study hard, I don't know if he will create a new "full score"?