*Title source: Question 1 of this issue of Micro-Q&A
Get started with new powder
(Source of the title of this issue)
Question 1
Keywords: divorce and choice of mate
The doll goddess and the little assistant are good, many years of baby fans, not refined in learning, existing problems can not be solved by themselves, need help, and hope to be drawn [love]
Female: 32 years old, 160, 95 pounds, not alone, self-admitted to junior college, divorced a boy to the man, his own business, annual income of 40W, no house and no car, rural, emotionally stable
The man's right to choose a mate is much higher than the woman's, he knows that he is seriously high, we met 7 years ago, we have a good impression of each other, and the time is shorter and did not confess, he felt very regretful, at that time he wanted to get married early, and the ex-husband who met at the same time flashed marriage, last year contact, learned that I confessed together after divorce, see you 2-3 times a week
At first, I didn't care that I was divorced and had a baby, my ex-husband has been obstructing all kinds of obstructions from seeing the child, occasionally showing the emotion of missing the child in front of him, and now I hope that I will completely cut off the child, do not contact again, worry that I will scatter my family investment in the future, and am willing to write my name before marriage to buy another apartment
The concerns now are:
1. Not sure that marriage will continue to provide him with emotional value
2. How should the older child in front come to me and deal with it
3. What are the possible consequences of Gao Pan's entry into marriage?
At the moment, he is the best long-term candidate I can match, but he is also prepared to be separated at any time, so Sister Wa's advice can be accepted whether they break up or not. The attached photo begged for a score, and the white dress took a single photo of him without beauty
answer
You are very beautiful, there is affection between you, and his temper is more emotional, if you can completely give up your previous child to be with him, then the relationship is relatively secure. Because objectively speaking, this boy's temper is not the kind that is very easy to find objects.
On the contrary, his advantages are also very prominent, and once he finds the girl he likes, he shows a lot of sincerity. You see that he is willing to write your name before marriage and buy another house, then this sincerity is enough to support your marriage. You can have two more children with him after marriage, so the child you value very much right now will not be your only child, and it will no longer make you so entangled.
You can give this child to your ex-husband, and you have to trust that your ex-husband will also take good care of him. But you have to get a vaccination with your current husband and tell him that if the worst happens and your ex-husband has an accident, then you can't leave the child alone.
You're so worried about Gao Pan, I think you can lose a little bit of weight. Although you don't weigh much, your whole body looks a little loose and a little extra bubble meat. If you can lose a little more fat, it may be better for your relationship. We have already talked about the consequences of Gao Pan's marriage hundreds of thousands of times, so we will not repeat it in this place, there is no need.
Finally, I need to explain to you that this girl's photo is obviously much better than that of the boy, and some photos are taken like small Internet celebrities, so her experience and my suggestions for her personally do not have any reference for others.
Question 2
Keywords: boyfriend unemployed
Female 90: height 160, weight 110, college degree, independent non-office, private company internal support, about 150,000 a year, have a car and a house, monthly payment of 1600, both parents are retired, ordinary families in third-tier cities.
Male 87: height 165, weight 120, college degree, not alone, has an older brother (unmarried, poor economy, needs family support), two older sisters, has a car or no house, a car of about 400,000, parents in the countryside. More than 200,000 in the previous year. Currently unemployed.
and boyfriend met in March, took the initiative to make an appointment to eat, watch a movie, and determined the relationship in October, after determining the relationship, the man's intention was obvious, and he took the initiative to buy: buying a house, bride price, three gold, mobile phone password, etc
Now the current situation is:
My boyfriend used to do some engineering by himself, the upstream of real estate, now facing transformation, I don't know what to do next year, now I am unemployed, playing games at home every day, dark for him, day and night are reversed. I was disgusted by this and brought it up seriously, nothing changed.
Now we go to his place for dinner on dates, he does (TikTok), I will take the initiative to take the initiative to wash dishes, mop the floor and other household chores, living expenses he basically takes the initiative, I will also consciously add items. I know that he is currently in a bad financial situation and has not raised any major expenses.
Now what bothers me is whether to continue to get married, I know that I have reached the embarrassing period of choosing a mate, but his job is very unstable, and I am afraid that my life will not be guaranteed after marriage. I know that my PU is relatively high, the MV is medium, and I need more emotional value. With photos, no beauty, his photo is a video screenshot, we don't take much pictures.
answer
First of all, to correct you a little, your MV is not medium. Judging from the photos you sent, I can't imagine that you are born in 90 years, with a national character face, prominent cheekbones, serious nasolabial folds, and exceptionally old-fashioned dress, not in the state of choosing a mate at all, if a girl like you goes on a specific blind date, she will be the first batch of girls who are passed by boys, and the more you go on, the more serious this situation becomes.
Clarify the real situation of your MV, and then combine with your "self-knowledge that my PU is relatively high... Need more emotional value", let's look at your relationship. You ask "whether to continue to get married", and the answer is either you marry this guy, or you accept the reality that you may not be married in this life. He competes for males, you compete for females, and the two of you are just a match.
What you need to know is that the reason why this boy has "obvious long-term intentions" for you is because he is "165 tall", "has an older brother (unmarried, very poor economy, needs help from home)", "has no house", and "I don't know what to do next year, now I am unemployed", "the economic situation is not good". If you put aside these shortcomings, or if he can maintain the previous competition of "more than 200,000 a year", he will not choose you.
In the short one-page chat log you sent, you are exalting yourself ("under my unremitting efforts"), suppressing and satirizing the other party ("finally a miracle"), and urging the other party to compete ("Didn't you say that you will make games next year, then you should find a game company to work first"), which is really heart-wrenching to watch.
Girls like you with low MV PU and high PU, or give up the expectation of the other half's economic security early, you are the "woman" in the world outside the circle said "women must be rich and have the ability to make money", "work is very important to women".
You are like men, with money, you have marriage, without money, you have no marriage.
Therefore, regarding the question of "I am afraid that my life will not be guaranteed after marriage", what you have to do is not to worry about "his work is very unstable", but to actively make money by yourself. Your female competition is fine, the male competition is strong and willing to spend money on the other half can also get married, his male competition is fine, the female competition can also get married, I see that he coaxed you to coax you very well, you take the emotional value of the other party, you have to have the consciousness of promoting the male competition and being the economic pillar of this family.
Old fans advanced
Question 3
Keyword: whether to climb high
Hello, Sister Doll and assistants, thank you for your help to enable more women to gain a happy marriage, and I wish Sister Doll a smooth life.
Female, 29, 170, 58, divorced without children, alone, brand anchor with goods, 24w years old, parents ordinary family, first-line urban area 2 rooms without cars
Male, 26,182,73, alone (never in love before), live broadcast project manager, 30w years old, father paralyzed by the lower body due to an accident but optimistic and positive life, mother store manager, first-line suburbs 3 bedrooms 1 car (now sold 1 set as a down payment for our new house, the house is written in my name)
The marriage has not yet been licensed, and it is expected next year. (Group photo)
Judgment is inaccurate The man's attributes: strong dedication to work, 1w more than 1w before the salary doubled, the family will help do housework, feel cloth sex and stone nature, shear sex is not strong (sometimes not good to speak) emotional concentration is very high, x life is harmonious, but also hope to have the crystallization of love with me in the future, and the in-laws are very good to me, and the personality is kind
Now the appeal is to ask me if I am high, knowing that I stepped on sibling love, divorced and unmarried, and had a failed marriage for fear of failure again, afraid that these good treatment is not what I should have (I think I still have cloth sex, normal situation is fine, hurt others and hurt myself when the mood is stormy) At the same time, I am worried that my boyfriend has cloth sex, and cheating in the future to make up for it (there is no PC experience, but before WeChat there was an old bao said that it was to sell to men as a resource, which has been deleted)
Whether I am lucky enough to draw it or not, I am very grateful for the efforts of Sister Wawa and my assistant
answer
The girl in the photo is thin, tall, and only a little worse than the Internet celebrity, but the Internet celebrity sense is very heavy, either heavy makeup big eyelashes + camisole vest, or light wig / complex hairstyle + complex hipster outfit, each photo is conveying the feeling of "knowing that you are beautiful" to the lens, it should be a cloth cutting girl.
This boy is also like a cloth clipper, project manager, has PC history, every photo is smiling in front of the camera, not only playing steadily, but even laughing more and more delicately, it can be seen that the cutting is not low.
In your question, you said that the man is not strong in shearing, which is impossible.
If he wasn't strong in shearing, he wouldn't have looked for a girl three years older than him;
If he didn't cut sexually, he wouldn't find a divorced girl.
Change to a boy who is really not strong in shearing, knows your conditions, turns around and leaves, no matter how good the relationship will break with you, so you have to know that this boy is already a very strong shearer. Just because he didn't say nice things to you doesn't mean he didn't endure it in silence. People who don't have sex scissors can't get along with you, I hope you can understand the problem.
If you want to maintain this relationship very hard, it will not work, but as long as the cloth in your bones comes up, it may hurt the other party and hurt the relationship. Because his attributes are still mainly cloth, especially as he gets older, he will become more and more clothy, and it will become more and more difficult to bear you. He simply relies on the surface of the shear, and can't catch the cloth nature in your heart. If you can restrain your cloth nature and don't let your emotions pour out to hurt others, then your life can barely live; But if you can't restrain your emotions, the relationship will start to go downhill.
In the future, every time you can't control your emotions, you can write a diary, vent your emotions in the diary, and lock it up so that others don't see it. After the mood eases, you can delete it again, so that it is equivalent to silently digesting it yourself. There are other ways to calm your emotions that you can learn more about, and try to see how they will help your relationship.
The cloth cutter should have found a stone scissor man, and the relationship would have lasted longer. But this boy is more inclined to look like a cloth-cutting youthful state in terms of nose, skin and working condition. It's just that the age is still young now, so the shear is stronger, and when it is a little older in the future, it is difficult to say how it will develop at that time.
When it comes to marriage, it doesn't feel like you can get married. If you get married, you should be able to make do with the baby, but it is difficult to say after giving birth, and you will also need to practice more and make corresponding adjustments.
Question 4
Keywords: 21-year-old mate selection
Hello baby sister, hope to be drawn.
M: 28, new first-tier city, with a house and a car, tutor, monthly income of 10,000, alone, 168/57, stone cloth
F: 21, new first-tier city, no house and no car, tutor, monthly income of 4,000, not alone, 162/51, stone cloth
Appeal: I have tried the problem of adding names to the house before, and the future in-laws said that the future houses are ours, implicitly saying that they do not add their names before marriage, and may give 300,000 bride price compensation, and have expressed with their boyfriend that they do not add names and do not get married to let him get his parents, am I too greedy, or should I have lower requirements for marriage?
The future mother-in-law holds the economic power, the man's character is weak, self-motivated, belongs to feel that the future mother-in-law is too strong, and my strong personality is incompatible, I can't get any money, I don't have any right to speak, I'm worried that my boyfriend lies flat in the future to get married We have to reach out to my mother-in-law for money, do a small low, this is different from the life I want, can I smoothly enter the marriage, or give up the existing ability to find money, thank you baby sister for guidance.
answer
Although you are a stone cloth woman, you are a 21-year-old stone cloth woman, and she also looks like a 21-year-old young and invincible, and she has a kind of earthy beauty.
The 21-year-old stone cloth can be used as a stone shear, and marrying a stone cloth man at this time is more in line with the official match. But if you know that you are a stone cloth, then your cloth sex may be more serious than the stone cloth of the same age, and you must always pay attention to restraining the cloth sex in your body, which is good for you to maintain a long-term marriage.
A 21-year-old girl, there is still a chance to pick another one, and you can find another boy who is willing to add a name to you. But you have to pay attention to one point, such a boy's family economic conditions are definitely not as good as the current boyfriend's family, if the mother-in-law's personality is soft, then the boyfriend's personality will be stronger, anyway, you will eventually get along with a person who is not easy to get along with, this person is either a mother-in-law or a husband.
A personality like you who always wants to be independent, whether it is getting along with a strong mother-in-law or a strong husband, will have problems sooner or later. You want the other party's large pro-investment, and your PU is not low, which is very unsolvable.
And this boy is not so much like the stone cloth man, the family has a house and a car, and he has a weak personality, a bit like the scissor son born of the cloth family, which may be relatively optional among all cloth scissors. If this is the case, you are willing to admit it, and it is also an option to hit a wall in the marriage market.
Anyway, it's only 21 years old, and the choice is still high.
Question 5
Keywords: unemployed to give birth
Sister Wa and all the assistants are good, many years of diving powder, grateful to the platform to gain a lot. However, his understanding is not high, and he hopes to answer his questions when encountered
Male 94 years 183cm 173 pounds, not alone, rural has a sister. Real estate channel manager, parents before marriage down payment house, their own money to decorate the bride price plus mortgage repayment, now the big environmental impact income is reduced, month 2w
I am 94 years 157cm before pregnancy 100 pounds, not alone, the original month 5-8k, now unemployed to give birth. Urban parents were laid off in the early years to do business, the family ups and downs, now pension plus small business, life is stable, there is 1 brother unmarried, I married far away, my mother's support is limited
I met my husband in the same senior year as an undergraduate student, now married for two years, and after graduation, I used to transfer with the company and the place of work in the province together, because I changed jobs for a year, and then I followed my husband. My husband pays financial power before marriage, is generous and tolerant to me, I adore my husband but often make trouble, my husband is emotionally stable and always communicates first, and he is obedient to me but feels that the emotional concentration is not as good as before marriage
My MV decreased after pregnancy, he has a good figure, high emotional intelligence, strong work ability, and a deep crisis, I lower my pu to stabilize my emotions and do housework to thank him, I feel that my current relationship is stable, but he has expressed twice that as long as this 1 child, my husband has a lot of contact with people at work, and there are examples of colleagues leading cheating around him, I don't know if it is his reduced income, I feel that the pressure of the second child is high, or he has other thoughts
I self-evaluate the stone cloth, my husband's attributes are unknown, maybe the cloth is cut, will praise me for being beautiful and material, and the photo is hidden. Please ask Sister Wa, if I am high, there is a crisis in the marriage without knowing it. Now that my mother-in-law came to take care of me in the third trimester, I feel like walking on thin ice, what aspects should I work hard to maintain the long-term marriage
answer
This boy looks at the feeling that the whole face is particularly like the male star Dou X. Combined with his big size, there is a sister at home, and the whole is indeed the feeling of a cloth cut man.
Maybe the truth is very heartfelt, but I must tell you: these ten people are the result of natural selection, not all of them are beautiful women, you are all at the bottom of it.
For such a mediocre girl, he can boast of the word beautiful, and if there is no problem with his eyes, he is providing you with extremely high emotional value.
So your marriage does "have a crisis without knowing it", the other party is very cut, you are very stoney. If you want a second child, you have to start by stopping the mess. Because when you make trouble, your husband always has to be distracted on you, naturally he does not have so much mind to raise offspring, and he does not want so many offspring.
Speaking of which, I found that many stone cloth will not work during pregnancy, at home to raise a baby, I don't know why, this is probably a unique feature of stone cloth, but most people with other attributes are still working and doing housework as usual during pregnancy, rarely to deliberately install the baby, and rarely need extra care.
It's hard to understand why Shibu didn't give birth when she was pregnant with a child, was it rotten or what was the reason? How the girls around you live during pregnancy, you can also discuss it in the comments.